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Hi, I'm back!

Question:

While I was dwelling on the fundamental interconnectedness of all Hello everyone, I’m back after unsubbing due to the Net kind of totally taking over my life

I still haven’t found mine again.  Maybe that’s why people have lately been telling me "it’s time to get a life, Don." <net time loss comments and trouble with English medical system snipped I am still resistant to drugs – that would be like admitting there was something "wrong" with me, and I still feel it’s the rest of the world that’s wrong, not me :-)

I feel differently about my case – something is wrong, so I take medicine.  I don’t know if that’s a philosophical difference, or your ADD is different from mine. I have told friends I think I have ADD. Most know nothing at all about the condition, but now and again one says "Oh my goodness – I *knew* there was something different about you!". I keep mentioning ADD when I do something stupid, by way of explaining myself, but the blank looks I get in return suggest it is not quite as explanatory as I imagine! :-(

I only give the "ADD explanation" to people I trust to understand that I’m explaining why something happened, not making excuses.  Mosty people, unfortunately, even if you say "I’m just explaining, not making an excuse", just don’t get it.  Sometimes even people who should know better. Lots of people ask me about ADD, so much so that I’ve decided to do something about it and have just volunteered to be the local telephone helpline person (Yikes!). I have been told it’s only a couple of calls a day – we shall see. So far, three friends have got their kids diagnosed because of books I have leant them, so I feel I am doing some good.

Sound like good work! I need a couple of things that you might be able to help me with: Firstly, I need a one paragraph definition of ADD. DSM-IV or whatever is too long and I don’t think it explains it well enough to the layman.

The problem is, it’s defined by a combination of factors, and you have to list the factors to define ADD.  You also have to specify that these factors can’t be caused by some other known disorder or disease, and that not all of the symptoms need to be present, and that the prominence of each symptom can vary from ADDer to ADDer.  It’s hard to fit all that into a short definition. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – For instance, everyone here in Britain seems obsessed with hyperactivity as a symptom – by which they always mean the sort of aggressive, "bouncing off the walls", verging on ODD behavior. The fact that a person never sits *still*, fidgits, talks excessively, wanders about the room etc. never occurs to people as being a manifestation of hyperactivity. Also, it’s not true to say even hyper ADHD people are always active – we can also become sort of "frozen" to the coach, unable to get ourselves going when the old procrastination problem hits. People also expect ADDers to be accademic disaster areas – yet that is not always the case by any means. I got good grades. I believe that without my ADD, I could have gotten superb grades, but you’ve only got my word for that. ADD to me is about not living up to potential (or rather, taking an awfully long time to get there). You can be a straight ‘A’ student and not live up to your potential :-( Let’s face it, Prof Hallowell (of "Driven to Distraction") says he has ADD, and yet he’s hardly an accademic failure! :-) Eek! This ADD is so paradoxical! We all know it when we see it, but how to describe it to someone who has not seen it?

I’ll give you my best effort.  I hope that others will offer suggestions to refine this.  Unfortunately, I don’t expect it to be as short as you want. In the DSM at least, the disorder is currently called "Attention Defecit/Hyperactivity Disorder".  The list of symptoms associated with it go beyond attentional problems and a tendency not to sit still. Besides the relative severity of the various components varying from one person to another, the severity of symptoms varies within one person at different times, which presents coping problems. I’m not sure how many of these you have to have to be diagnosed (you don’t have to have them all, or even the attentional or the hyperactivity components) but here is the list: Attentional Difficulties – Inability to concentrate continuously as easily or for as long a time or on as many things at once as others your age, especially if interrupted or distracted; paradoxically, a tendency to "hyperfocus", lose track of time, act on inappropriate priorities and forget about more important things.  Tendency to procrastinate, or start and not complete tasks.  Thinks about things other than the task at hand.  Can be misinterpreted as laziness or boredom. Hyperactivity – Outwardly, appears fidgity and unable to stay still. Pacing, nail biting, squirming, drumming on tables, tapping feet, talking to self, or other nervous habits are common.  Inwardly, feelings of urgency, impatience, frustration, anger or anxiety which don’t match up with external concerns ("caged animal" feelings).  Can result in inappropriate behavior which is misinterpreted as attention seeking or rebelliousness. Impulsivity – The ability most people have, when faced with a decision they must make, to run a "video tape in their head" of the expected results of each possible choice, develops later and is less effective. Paradoxically, in very explicitly structured situations with clearly stated boundaries and rules (a chess game or a court room, for instance), planning and strategy skills can be above normal. Impulsivity can be misinterpreted as "not thinking before speaking or acting" or being inconsiderate, thoughtless or undiplomatic. Social skills defecit – related to impulsivity, in that the person can’t imagine how his actions affect others and appear to others.  May be misinterpreted as selfishness, rudeness or childishness. Scholastic performance below what would be expected for intelligence and interest in subject matter.  More than normal variability of performance depending on interest in subject, basic skill with subject, teaching methods, and mental skills required for subject. Tendency to print sloppily rather than write script.  Poor scholastic performance can be misinterpreted as lack of self-discipline or external discipline, motivation, or lack of intelligence. Irritibility – easily frustrated, tendency to blame others when things don’t go right, resentment of small annoyances, overreaction to mistakes or imperfections in others, and intolerance of being made to wait.  May be more aggressive, verbally or physically. Obsessive-Compulsive traits – Perfectionism, feeling that everything must be arranged or done a certain way.  Unrealistic self-expectation combined with attentional difficulties can lead to self-consciousness and depression.  Can be misinterpreted as controlling or manipulative. I know, this turned out to be way longer than you want, but when you read it I think you’ll agree that’s since this disorder has so many aspects and is so complicated and so often misinterpreted. Secondly, have you have seen that thing on the Internet which is 50+ questions that are supposed to help you decide if ADD is worth investigating? I have printed it off loads of times for people and it’s really proved useful. But I only have the adult one. Is there a similar thing around for parents of possible ADD children?

I don’t know the answer to that. I don’t agree with parents diagnosing children, but in this country, you have to at least get half the way there yourself

From what I hear, just the length of the wait to get an appointment would make it necessary for you to take matters into your own hands to some degree. – so few doctors recognise or understand ADD. I cannot tell you how many mothers I have spoken to who have said "It’s not ADD – the Pediatrician told me so", and yet when I have asked them to ask the Ped *why* he said that, the answers have confirmed that these Peds don’t actually know anything about ADD. They say things like "ADD is not an illness, it’s just a word for badly behaved kids". Or "No, he hasn’t got ADD – he’s not violent and aggressive" or "ADD is an American diagnosis" (yeah, like British people are immune :-^ ), or

You Brits are supposed to just stoically keep a stiff upper lip, and add huge doses of self-discipline when the going gets rough, not whine about some medical problem like us Americans!  ;-) "It’s not ADD because he’s got speech problems/behavior problems/hearing problems" (as if you couldn’t have more than one condition).

Forgetting that "you can have fleas and lice too" is one of the most common medical mistakes. If ten doctors have told these poor parents this kind of rubbish, and only one says it’s ADD, they tend to go by the majority vote unless they know enough to question. That’s where the quiz comes in handy – they could at least show there is sufficient reason to suspect ADD, and thus ask for referals to doctors who specialise in it. TIA. — Anna (mummy to Emma, born 17th Jan 1995 and Alice, born 11th Sept 1996)

Glad to hear from you again. You were hungry and I was sorry. You were thirsty, and I blamed the world. You were a stranger, and I pointed you out. You were naked, and I turned you in. You were sick, and I said a prayer. You were in prison, and I wrote a poem.                         STEVE TURNER

Don Stauffer | Email is welcome except solicitation, which | | will be forwarded to domain Administrators. |

Response:

Hello everyone, I’m back after unsubbing due to the Net kind of totally taking over my life (and with two small kids, that’s not a good thing). My kids were really suffering from a mother only there in body, not in spirit, so I decided to cut loose and only stick with my breastfeeding mums support list (because it is good to get support from people in the same situation, isn’t it?). I don’t know how long I’ll be able to hang around here this time, but I’m ready to give it another go. Since I last posted, I’ve done a lot of reading on ADD and got involved with the British ADD Support Group. I’ve confrounted my GP and got absolutely nowhere (it doesn’t exist in adults, period, as far as both GPs I have seen are concerned). I have tried to see someone privately, but it’s hundreds of pounds and it’s going to take a while to raise that kind of money, but I feel more that I’d like to do it one day now. I am still resistant to drugs – that would be like admitting there was something "wrong" with me, and I still feel it’s the rest of the world that’s wrong, not me :-) I have told friends I think I have ADD. Most know nothing at all about the condition, but now and again one says "Oh my goodness – I *knew* there was something different about you!". I keep mentioning ADD when I do something stupid, by way of explaining myself, but the blank looks I get in return suggest it is not quite as explanatory as I imagine! :-( Lots of people ask me about ADD, so much so that I’ve decided to do something about it and have just volunteered to be the local telephone helpline person (Yikes!). I have been told it’s only a couple of calls a day – we shall see. So far, three friends have got their kids diagnosed because of books I have leant them, so I feel I am doing some good. I need a couple of things that you might be able to help me with: Firstly, I need a one paragraph definition of ADD. DSM-IV or whatever is too long and I don’t think it explains it well enough to the layman. For instance, everyone here in Britain seems obsessed with hyperactivity as a symptom – by which they always mean the sort of aggressive, "bouncing off the walls", verging on ODD behavior. The fact that a person never sits *still*, fidgits, talks excessively, wanders about the room etc. never occurs to people as being a manifestation of hyperactivity. Also, it’s not true to say even hyper ADHD people are always active – we can also become sort of "frozen" to the coach, unable to get ourselves going when the old procrastination problem hits. People also expect ADDers to be accademic disaster areas – yet that is not always the case by any means. I got good grades. I believe that without my ADD, I could have gotten superb grades, but you’ve only got my word for that. ADD to me is about not living up to potential (or rather, taking an awfully long time to get there). You can be a straight ‘A’ student and not live up to your potential :-( Let’s face it, Prof Hallowell (of "Driven to Distraction") says he has ADD, and yet he’s hardly an accademic failure! :-) Eek! This ADD is so paradoxical! We all know it when we see it, but how to describe it to someone who has not seen it? Secondly, have you have seen that thing on the Internet which is 50+ questions that are supposed to help you decide if ADD is worth investigating? I have printed it off loads of times for people and it’s really proved useful. But I only have the adult one. Is there a similar thing around for parents of possible ADD children? I don’t agree with parents diagnosing children, but in this country, you have to at least get half the way there yourself – so few doctors recognise or understand ADD. I cannot tell you how many mothers I have spoken to who have said "It’s not ADD – the Pediatrician told me so", and yet when I have asked them to ask the Ped *why* he said that, the answers have confirmed that these Peds don’t actually know anything about ADD. They say things like "ADD is not an illness, it’s just a word for badly behaved kids". Or "No, he hasn’t got ADD – he’s not violent and aggressive" or "ADD is an American diagnosis" (yeah, like British people are immune :-^ ), or "It’s not ADD because he’s got speech problems/behavior problems/hearing problems" (as if you couldn’t have more than one condition). If ten doctors have told these poor parents this kind of rubbish, and only one says it’s ADD, they tend to go by the majority vote unless they know enough to question. That’s where the quiz comes in handy – they could at least show there is sufficient reason to suspect ADD, and thus ask for referals to doctors who specialise in it. TIA. — Anna (mummy to Emma, born 17th Jan 1995 and Alice, born 11th Sept 1996) You were hungry and I was sorry. You were thirsty, and I blamed the world. You were a stranger, and I pointed you out. You were naked, and I turned you in. You were sick, and I said a prayer. You were in prison, and I wrote a poem.                         STEVE TURNER

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