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Struggling to cope…

Question:

Hi, I came across this group when doing some research on the net. My boyfriend has diabetest type 1, and I am so worried about him! He gets hypos several times a week and doesn’t seem to notice them coming on. If I suggest that one might be coming on, he usually gets annoyed! When he is ‘normal’ he is a great guy, but when his blood sugar is low is incredibly irritable and behaves irrtionally. I am scared of going in a car with him as he has gone hypo while driving and refused stop driving. It was incredibly scary, I thought we’d both get killed. He has had diabetes for 7 years approximately and seems to think that he knows all he needs to know about it. Unfortunately getting diabetes meant that he had to quit his very successful career in the army and start from scratch in business, something which he regrets very much. I love him, but the situation with diabetes is really putting a strain on things. I refuse to even consider breaking up with him because of an illness! He can’t help that he has got it, and the consequences of having it. Having an understanding of how diabetes works, it really breaks my heart to come over to his house and find unhealthy sugary food in the fridge, or an empty fridge with some lucozade in it! I feel there should be balanced food, lots of vegetables etc…  A recent holiday we went on was really difficult, he had several bad hypos in only four days. I was constantly checking him for signs and felt like his mother more than his girlfriend. I want to be helpful, but I feel powerless. I can’t help him with insulin, can’t check his blood for him and can’t make sure that all his meals are balanced. Being a very intelligent person I don’t know why he doesn’t do more of these things himself. He is taking an insulin called Novarapid which I noticed some negative postings on. He doesn’t notice hypos until he is incapable of doing anything about them himself, and there is more drama in the relationship than I can really handle. Is all this likely to be temporary and pass? Does anyone have advise for me on what I can do to help, and how I can cope better? Regards Elizabeth

Response:

Given the early hour, I thought I’d better post a quick one.  The T1s will be along with plenty of advice in the morning (or sooner in the case of the overseas ones).  Some of this may sound very negative but your story is a very negative one to begin with and I do not want to sound like you have nothing to worry about.  Comments are inline. Hi, I came across this group when doing some research on the net. My boyfriend has diabetest type 1, and I am so worried about him! He gets hypos several times a week and doesn’t seem to notice them coming on. If I suggest that one might be coming on, he usually gets annoyed! When he is ‘normal’ he is a great guy, but when his blood sugar is low is incredibly irritable and behaves irrtionally. I am scared of going in a car with him as he has gone hypo while driving and refused stop driving. It was incredibly scary, I thought we’d both get killed.

Mood swings and general bitchiness are a common effect of being either too high or too low.  For most of us it is a warning sign to take action.  You’re right to be scared of the driving.  The last place I would want to be is in a car with a low T1 in denial. The first thing that sprang to mind is that if this is not a one off as you suggest then it might be better for him to get stopped and lose his license before he kills himself and/or others.  Sorry if that sounds harsh, but he is a danger to himself and others if this behaviour is normal for him. He has had diabetes for 7 years approximately and seems to think that he knows all he needs to know about it. Unfortunately getting diabetes meant that he had to quit his very successful career in the army and start from scratch in business, something which he regrets very much.

Career displacement from work along with diagnosis.  Ouch.  I’ll come back to this. I love him, but the situation with diabetes is really putting a strain on things. I refuse to even consider breaking up with him because of an illness! He can’t help that he has got it, and the consequences of having it.

Very honourable of you, but this sounds as if it is very one sided and damaging for you as well as him.  See below. Having an understanding of how diabetes works, it really breaks my heart to come over to his house and find unhealthy sugary food in the fridge, or an empty fridge with some lucozade in it! I feel there should be balanced food, lots of vegetables etc…  A recent holiday we went on was really difficult, he had several bad hypos in only four days. I was constantly checking him for signs and felt like his mother more than his girlfriend.

Lucozade OK.  I would expect to find that in the fridge of a T1 for action against hypos.  However, not just lucozade.  You are quite right that there should be a variety of foods in there and more of the "healthy" than the "unhealthy" but that depends on your definition – the official one deviates from the general consensus here as you may have already noticed.  Veggies though are an essential , whichever viewpoint you subscribe to.  I wondered at first if he may have had some bad advice from the medics, but it sounds like whatever medical/dietary advice he got he is ignoring right now. I want to be helpful, but I feel powerless. I can’t help him with insulin, can’t check his blood for him and can’t make sure that all his meals are balanced. Being a very intelligent person I don’t know why he doesn’t do more of these things himself. He is taking an insulin called Novarapid which I noticed some negative postings on. He doesn’t notice hypos until he is incapable of doing anything about them himself, and there is more drama in the relationship than I can really handle.

Can’t comment on insulin, I’ll leave that to the T1s. Is all this likely to be temporary and pass? Does anyone have advise for me on what I can do to help, and how I can cope better? Regards Elizabeth

He is not in control, however much he may think he is.  Reading your post it appears to me to be depression throwing him out of control.  I am not talking about feeling a little bit down, I mean clinical depression. I am no psychiatrist and your post although it contains a lot, it is only a small insight. Diagnosis of DM is a huge hit.  Losing your career over it and having to adjust that part of your life along with it is another huge hit.  With it affecting the relationship along the way, he is suffering in the areas of Health, Career and Relationships simultaneously. Denial goes hand in hand with depression.  As he gets lower, the denial gets stronger not wanting to see what is wrong and putting on the "I’m ok" act. Is it temporary? I don’t think so.  He needs treatment and not regarding DM, although that sounds as if it is needed as well.  It’s almost as if he needs to go back to square one and start again from scratch.  It’s a complete life rebuild and he cannot do that on his own. As for your position, you are stuck in a very unpleasant place right now.  I’m not going to suggest you leave him, but if he does not get psychiatric assistance soon then you are going to continue to suffer from his depression and be at risk from depression yourself, or worse. Remember that psychiatric drugs (anti-depressants, etc) are not uncommon for those diagnosed with DM.  It is a life changing event and losing your career over it screws with you even more.  The mental and emotional efects of DM are often overlooked both in those diagnosed and the others in the DMer’s life in favour of treating the physical effects. In summary – he needs help to get over the depression.  There is a terribly unjustified stigma to clinical depression because it is interpreted by many as being "crazy".  Mental illness is just that – illness.  It is treatable. As a final warning, if his behaviour were to be considered suicidal or a danger to himself and others by a doctor, then he could be sectioned under the mental health act.  Although this sounds terrible, it would also get him the help he needs, but that would be an extreme and I hope it never gets that far. In short, you are right to be concerned and I am not sure that you can do enough on your own to bring him round, although I would like to think that you can.  You may be too close given that the relationship is suffering. Sorry this all sounds very negative but your/his positions do not sound good from here.  Specialist help.  Soon. Good luck. VBH T2/UK/A1c 5.8/ 1000Met/Dx Oct-03

Response:

Hi, I came across this group when doing some research on the net. My boyfriend has diabetest type 1, and I am so worried about him! He gets hypos several times a week and doesn’t seem to notice them coming on. If I suggest that one might be coming on, he usually gets annoyed! When he is ‘normal’ he is a great guy, but when his blood sugar is low is incredibly irritable and behaves irrtionally. I am scared of going in a car with him as he has gone hypo while driving and refused stop driving. It was incredibly scary, I thought we’d both get killed.

Standard feeling sadly, and when low .. it can be a real battle to get him to listen and be rational. I really wouldn’t get  in the car with him for long drives or aroud mealtimes if he’s getting like this …. He has had diabetes for 7 years approximately and seems to think that he knows all he needs to know about it. Unfortunately getting diabetes meant that he had to quit his very successful career in the army and start from scratch in business, something which he regrets very much.

Everyone thinks they are superhuman, sadly it may take the onset of complications before he wakes up … that’s how it was for me. I love him, but the situation with diabetes is really putting a strain on things. I refuse to even consider breaking up with him because of an illness! He can’t help that he has got it, and the consequences of having it.

It’s more of a conditon that needs to be managed than an illness, you might need to stress to him that he’s not "sick" if that helps. Having an understanding of how diabetes works, it really breaks my heart to come over to his house and find unhealthy sugary food in the fridge, or an empty fridge with some lucozade in it! I feel there should be balanced food, lots of vegetables etc…  A recent holiday we went on was really difficult, he had several bad hypos in only four days. I was constantly checking him for signs and felt like his mother more than his girlfriend.

I don’t eat as much of that as i should but you won’t find sugary crap in there either, but that’s a lesson i’ve only recently learned. I want to be helpful, but I feel powerless. I can’t help him with insulin, can’t check his blood for him and can’t make sure that all his meals are balanced. Being a very intelligent person I don’t know why he doesn’t do more of these things himself.

Because he’s in denial. It can last a LONG time. He is taking an insulin called Novarapid which I noticed some negative postings on. He doesn’t notice hypos until he is incapable of doing anything about them himself, and there is more drama in the relationship than I can really handle.

Maybe he doesn’t notice them because his blood sugar is so wildly out of control. I didn;t have any hypo warnings for some time after regaining control. Now i can spot one most of the time but they still catch me out. Only way to really spot them is regular testing combined with experience. Is all this likely to be temporary and pass? Does anyone have advise for me on what I can do to help, and how I can cope better? Regards Elizabeth

I think it’s temporary, in so much as it won’t last a lifetime … how long it lasts really is up to your boyfriend, i know from my own experience and recent conversations with an old ex that i was an arse not so long ago. It took a warning from the doctor and a brush with laser surgery for retinopathy ( lets just call this one of the nasty side effects) to give me the kick i needed. It cost me a g/f, it nearly cost me my health and it may have cost me in ways i have yet to discover. However i am not unintelligent and i knew these things before, i knew the risks .. i just thought i could care less.  All you can do is be there for him and hope he comes to his senses before he loses his health and his girl friend. I don’t know you or him so i don’t know how easy it would be to sit down and discuss this rationally when he’s not low  or going low. It’s very hard when you are so used to feeling a certain way to take a step back and look at how you are, i didn’t and it’s not until you spend some time "normal" and in control that you realise just how bad you were or are. Communication is your best bet … you really need to find a way to sit and discuss this in a way that won’ result in an argument, either on your behalf or his. However there is light at the end of all this. I spent 11 years defying my diabetes and now, finally i am in control. Well, control of sorts .. i at least know where i am now. I will never go back to my old habits as they would have killed me. Anything he does will have to be done for himself first and foremost, because until he learns to respect himself, you’re probaby going to come a poor second …. it’s up to you how long you can deal with that for, i hope for his and your sake that he learns faster than i did. If there is anything we can do or discuss with you, then you only have to ask ….. Anyway, you found us … so at least you know you have somewhere you can come and "blow off steam" with people who understand exactly what you are going through and what you are having to deal with … sometimes that’s all you need to get you through. Patrick.

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Is all this likely to be temporary and pass? Does anyone have advise for me on what I can do to help, and how I can cope better?

Oh, Elizabeth, what an awful situation! He’s not going to be able to accept help until he wants to change, so if you’re really determined to stick it out, you need to make sure you’re looking after yourself well. Stress does nasty things to your immune system, so make sure you’re eating properly, and getting some you-time. Best of luck, Nicky. — HbA1c 10.5/6.4/<6  Weight 95/80/72 1g Metformin, 75ug Thyroxine T2 DX 05/2004

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Hi, I came across this group when doing some research on the net. My boyfriend has diabetest type 1, and I am so worried about him! He gets hypos several times a week and doesn’t seem to notice them coming on. If I suggest that one might be coming on, he usually gets annoyed! When he is ‘normal’ he is a great guy, but when his blood sugar is low is incredibly irritable and behaves irrtionally. I am scared of going in a car with him as he has gone hypo while driving and refused stop driving. It was incredibly scary, I thought we’d both get killed.

Do not speak to him when he is like that just place a cup of sweetened drink, you mention he has Lucazade in his fridge but tea/coffee with 4 tsp sugar in is probably better. Be prepared for it to be flung across the room but just repeat it. When he is like that he will be very confused and the very act of telling him something like you need something to eat could appear very confrontational to him. As for his driving under those conditions, do not get in the car with him and when he asks why be blunt and tell him. He needs to lose his licence before he kills someone. Has he informed the DVLA that he is using insulin? He has had diabetes for 7 years approximately and seems to think that he knows all he needs to know about it. Unfortunately getting diabetes meant that he had to quit his very successful career in the army and start from scratch in business, something which he regrets very much.

In a way I was lucky I got dx at 10yr old and I do not pretend to know all about it after 48 years. The medics do not know all about it, their advice keeps changing year to year. So no one knows all about diabetes. The armed forces is very difficult to leave under any circumstance. I was married into a family of service men and when each left they all had great difficulty adapting to civilian life. All of them turned to booze and lost there families through their actions. So I can understand a bit of what both you and he are going through. I love him, but the situation with diabetes is really putting a strain on things. I refuse to even consider breaking up with him because of an illness! He can’t help that he has got it, and the consequences of having it.

You are wrong he can not help that he has got diabetes but he must do something about the consequences of having it not only for you but for himself. He is the only one who can and it may take tough love on your part to get him to do something. My wife and I got divorced and I was left with three sons to bring up, you will have read Patrick’s <Festers post. The thought of losing you may be the kick up the backside he needs. Having an understanding of how diabetes works, it really breaks my heart to come over to his house and find unhealthy sugary food in the fridge, or an empty fridge with some lucozade in it! I feel there should be balanced food, lots of vegetables etc…  A recent holiday we went on was really difficult, he had several bad hypos in only four days. I was constantly checking him for signs and felt like his mother more than his girlfriend.

So he knows he is having hypos (all the sweet stuff) so what is his excuse. Why is he not testing more? I want to be helpful, but I feel powerless. I can’t help him with insulin, can’t check his blood for him and can’t make sure that all his meals are balanced. Being a very intelligent person I don’t know why he doesn’t do more of these things himself. He is taking an insulin called Novarapid which I noticed some negative postings on. He doesn’t notice hypos until he is incapable of doing anything about them himself, and there is more drama in the relationship than I can really handle.

The loss of hypo feeling in his case I believe has nothing to do with the insulin he is on, he is injecting too much or he is not eating enough to cover what he has injected. I bet if he did test he has as many hyper’s as he has hypo’s. How often does he test his blood? Is all this likely to be temporary and pass? Does anyone have advise for me on what I can do to help, and how I can cope better? Regards Elizabeth

This is going to sound very nasty but I assure you I would rather not write it. To get him to change he is going to have to face up to his life and make the changes himself and stop the self pity. You state you love him, how sure are you that he loves you rather than him using you. If you are sure of his love then there are a number of things you could try. 1 what I said earlier about his driving. He should be testing before he starts his journey as well as during it and if he did he could take measures to keep his BG level, if he wants you in the car with him that is a small price to pay. 2 When he goes low at home stand back and let him go into insulin shock (comatose) and call the paramedics out and tell them what is happening, this will get onto his records so you may get some help from the hospital. 3 Have you read <x (yz)s post the idea of a letter sounds excellent to me but make sure he is not going either high or low when he reads it. State your worries say you can not live his life for him he must control his diabetes and if he tries you will try and help him but otherwise as you are becoming scared of the out come you are going to have to rethink about the future. You know him, I do not, so I believe you can find the wording to push him rather than shove him. I realy do hope the thought of loseing you will make him do something about his diabetes. — DaveT dx 1955 T1 BeefL + Humalog as required

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you’ve got some good advice here so far i’ll add my 2 cents in though insulin caused hypo’s and driving is DWI and you are very lucky that he hasn’t crashed the car killing you and some other unfortunate people that he hits :-( is your life worth this relationship?? if so, make demands….. that he test BEFORE he gets in the car and once every hour OR when you say so after that take care, and stay alive having hypos this often…… get him to his hospital to ensure that he changes his insulin as needed — Join us in the Diabetic-Talk Chatroom on UnderNet /server irc.undernet.org — /join #Diabetic-Talk More info: http://www.diabetic-talk.org/ I have no medical qualifications beyond my own experience. Choose your advisers carefully, because experience can be an expensive teacher.

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi, I came across this group when doing some research on the net. My boyfriend has diabetest type 1, and I am so worried about him! He gets hypos several times a week and doesn’t seem to notice them coming on. If I suggest that one might be coming on, he usually gets annoyed! When he is ‘normal’ he is a great guy, but when his blood sugar is low is incredibly irritable and behaves irrtionally. I am scared of going in a car with him as he has gone hypo while driving and refused stop driving. It was incredibly scary, I thought we’d both get killed. He has had diabetes for 7 years approximately and seems to think that he knows all he needs to know about it. Unfortunately getting diabetes meant that he had to quit his very successful career in the army and start from scratch in business, something which he regrets very much. I love him, but the situation with diabetes is really putting a strain on things. I refuse to even consider breaking up with him because of an illness! He can’t help that he has got it, and the consequences of having it. Having an understanding of how diabetes works, it really breaks my heart to come over to his house and find unhealthy sugary food in the fridge, or an empty fridge with some lucozade in it! I feel there should be balanced food, lots of vegetables etc…  A recent holiday we went on was really difficult, he had several bad hypos in only four days. I was constantly checking him for signs and felt like his mother more than his girlfriend. I want to be helpful, but I feel powerless. I can’t help him with insulin, can’t check his blood for him and can’t make sure that all his meals are balanced. Being a very intelligent person I don’t know why he doesn’t do more of these things himself. He is taking an insulin called Novarapid which I noticed some negative postings on. He doesn’t notice hypos until he is incapable of doing anything about them himself, and there is more drama in the relationship than I can really handle. Is all this likely to be temporary and pass? Does anyone have advise for me on what I can do to help, and how I can cope better? Regards Elizabeth

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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi, I came across this group when doing some research on the net. My boyfriend has diabetest type 1, and I am so worried about him! He gets hypos several times a week and doesn’t seem to notice them coming on. If I suggest that one might be coming on, he usually gets annoyed! When he is ‘normal’ he is a great guy, but when his blood sugar is low is incredibly irritable and behaves irrtionally. I am scared of going in a car with him as he has gone hypo while driving and refused stop driving. It was incredibly scary, I thought we’d both get killed. He has had diabetes for 7 years approximately and seems to think that he knows all he needs to know about it. Unfortunately getting diabetes meant that he had to quit his very successful career in the army and start from scratch in business, something which he regrets very much. I love him, but the situation with diabetes is really putting a strain on things. I refuse to even consider breaking up with him because of an illness! He can’t help that he has got it, and the consequences of having it. Having an understanding of how diabetes works, it really breaks my heart to come over to his house and find unhealthy sugary food in the fridge, or an empty fridge with some lucozade in it! I feel there should be balanced food, lots of vegetables etc…  A recent holiday we went on was really difficult, he had several bad hypos in only four days. I was constantly checking him for signs and felt like his mother more than his girlfriend. I want to be helpful, but I feel powerless. I can’t help him with insulin, can’t check his blood for him and can’t make sure that all his meals are balanced. Being a very intelligent person I don’t know why he doesn’t do more of these things himself. He is taking an insulin called Novarapid which I noticed some negative postings on. He doesn’t notice hypos until he is incapable of doing anything about them himself, and there is more drama in the relationship than I can really handle. Is all this likely to be temporary and pass? Does anyone have advise for me on what I can do to help, and how I can cope better? Regards Elizabeth

    He is not supposed to be having "hypos several times a week"    That implies (but does not absolutely prove) that there is something wrong with his insulin regime.    It could be his shot patterns,  it could be his choices of insulins. Choices of Insulins: That pattern of hypos is very often seen in diabetics using the insulin named "Insulatard".    Insulatard is supposed to be a slow acting insulin which covers a diabetic’s basal metabolism.   It is best used by splitting the daily dose into 3 or 4 smaller doses, spaced throughout the day. Many folks testify that Insulatard does not always act as "a slow acting insulin" for them.    At random times,  it suddenly seems to act as a fast insulin. Since the dosage amount  is adjusted for slow,  long-time absorption,   when Insulatard perversely "decides" to act rapidly,   the diabetic is suddenly overdosed with insulin and goes hypo. Lantus and Levemir are regarded as less troublesome "slow" insulins. Shot Patterns:  NovoRapid is one of the modern insulins which is somewhat easier to use than the older types.   However,  it acts very rapidly and can catch inexperienced users off guard.   If he is shooting too much NovoRapid before a meal,   he can experience these hypos. Also,   diabetics using insulin very often do best if they use two insulins, a slow insulin such as Lantus or Levemir,  and a fast insulin such as NovoRapid or Humalog.   One uses the slow insulin to deal with basal metabolism;  one uses the fast insulin to deal with the immediate needs of a meal. If one tries to get along using only a fast insulin  (you didn’t mention any slow insulins),    one can get into hypo trouble very easily.    Slow insulins were invented to deal with basal metabolisms,   fast insulins were invented to use with food.    Try to use an insulin in a manner for which it was not designed and life becomes very difficult. If any of my guesses are true  (Insulatard,   fast insulin only),   he really needs some good advice from a highly skilled diabetic consultant. Many of us can tolerate hypos such as his with no odd behaviors,   some of us cannot.    Since he seems to do poorly when hypo,  he needs special advice from the best consultants around. Odd Behaviors: Some of his behaviors are very similar to those observed in alcoholics (denial,  irrational behavior,  unwarranted self-confidence).     You might do better if advised by experts in such behaviors.    Perhaps you should consult with a psychologist or substance abuse counselor. Regards   Old Al

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Hi, Elizabeth, I’ve just got a couple of comments, interspersed below. I came across this group when doing some research on the net. My boyfriend has diabetest type 1, and I am so worried about him! He gets hypos several times a week and doesn’t seem to notice them coming on. If I suggest that one might be coming on, he usually gets annoyed! When he is ‘normal’ he is a great guy, but when his blood sugar is low is incredibly irritable and behaves irrtionally. I am scared of going in a car with him as he has gone hypo while driving and refused stop driving. It was incredibly scary, I thought we’d both get killed.

My ex-husband gets very nasty and aggressive if he drinks on an empty stomach. When I pointed this out to him – always the next day when he’d sobered up – he insisted that I was wrong and imagining things and just being bloody-minded. I finally told him that I would not go out with him to a pub unless he had something to eat. It took two confrontations for him to realise that I meant it. Maybe you could point out to your boyfriend that he gets this way when he’s low, and it’s no fun to be with him when he’s like this, perhaps by letter as yz has suggested. I would certainly not get into a car with a T1 that I thought was going hypo. And I would be tempted to call the police after he had driven off, before he kills himself or someone else. <snip I want to be helpful, but I feel powerless. I can’t help him with insulin, can’t check his blood for him and can’t make sure that all his meals are balanced. Being a very intelligent person I don’t know why he doesn’t do more of these things himself.

Make sure you take good care of yourself. You won’t be much help to him if you’re all stressed out and depressed. <snip Is all this likely to be temporary and pass? Does anyone have advise for me on what I can do to help, and how I can cope better?

Find out if there’s a branch of Relate near you. If you can get your boyfriend to go with you, that would be all to the good, but go alone if you have to. They can help you sort things out in your own mind and may be able to suggest avenues to explore that might be useful. Good luck, Maggie

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– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi, Elizabeth, I’ve just got a couple of comments, interspersed below. I came across this group when doing some research on the net. My boyfriend has diabetest type 1, and I am so worried about him! He gets hypos several times a week and doesn’t seem to notice them coming on. If I suggest that one might be coming on, he usually gets annoyed! When he is ‘normal’ he is a great guy, but when his blood sugar is low is incredibly irritable and behaves irrtionally. I am scared of going in a car with him as he has gone hypo while driving and refused stop driving. It was incredibly scary, I thought we’d both get killed. My ex-husband gets very nasty and aggressive if he drinks on an empty stomach. When I pointed this out to him – always the next day when he’d sobered up – he insisted that I was wrong and imagining things and just being bloody-minded. I finally told him that I would not go out with him to a pub unless he had something to eat. It took two confrontations for him to realise that I meant it. Maybe you could point out to your boyfriend that he gets this way when he’s low, and it’s no fun to be with him when he’s like this, perhaps by letter as yz has suggested. I would certainly not get into a car with a T1 that I thought was going hypo. And I would be tempted to call the police after he had driven off, before he kills himself or someone else. <snip I want to be helpful, but I feel powerless. I can’t help him with insulin, can’t check his blood for him and can’t make sure that all his meals are balanced. Being a very intelligent person I don’t know why he doesn’t do more of these things himself. Make sure you take good care of yourself. You won’t be much help to him if you’re all stressed out and depressed. <snip Is all this likely to be temporary and pass? Does anyone have advise for me on what I can do to help, and how I can cope better? Find out if there’s a branch of Relate near you. If you can get your boyfriend to go with you, that would be all to the good, but go alone if you have to. They can help you sort things out in your own mind and may be able to suggest avenues to explore that might be useful. Good luck, Maggie

Just my twopennarth If you cant get him to take care of the food side of things then get him off his arse and out walking. Get him to take you for a brisk walk after a meal. Perhaps make the excuse,that its you that wants to get fitter and would he come along with you for moral support. The fresh air will do him the world of good. The exercise will eventually feel great. Of course if you go out walking together just wait until you have done a half hour and you may find a few well placed comments about good diet along with exercise etc are listened to more intently. Above all when out walking let him get in front ! yes let him win ! If that is how he sees it. I am type 2 I used to be a right pratt because at the time i had not realised i had DM. With the help of this group i lost weight, ate right and both myself and my wife are reaping the benefits of a much calmer relationship. I do sincerely hope your patience with him is rewarded. Good luck Hope this is of some help. PS . Behind every good man theres a good woman….. — Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).

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