Act Acting » Acting Resume » OT: Life changing moment

OT: Life changing moment

Question:

The ex-boyfriend and I are trying to be friends, but we keep having the same style of stupid fights that we used to have. What always happens is one person will say something or do something, the other person will assume that they know the motivation behind it, get offended, say something very hurtful out of anger, and then the other person will storm off and say "We’re never talking again! I want you out of my life!" And then a few months later we’ll see each other again and make up and say "I always want you in my life." Right now we are once again in a not talking period. Thursday night on my way home from work, I was approaching an intersection. There are 3 lanes, the left one is turn only, the middle and right ones go straight. I was in the middle one. There was a woman in a car in the left lane and a little behind me, actually in my blind spot. She decided she was going to go straight too, and just as I was crossing she honked at me like it was my fault, and she wasn’t gonna slow down so I swerved to the right to keep her from hitting me. I swerved a bit too fast, I was freaked out, and I lost control of my car for just an instant. Got control back, didn’t hit anything, everything was fine, but in that instant I realized I didn’t want to die with this rift between me and my friend. When I got home I was so relieved to be alive, and I started thinking about him and just laughing. I couldn’t stop laughing, everything about our relationship just struck me as ridiculous. Our fights are so stupid and juvenile. I was in love with him, and he didn’t love me back, so I resented him and hated him for it. How stupid is that? That’s not love, that’s a demand. I just looked at myself and realized I was being a dumbass, and just saw myself in this light where everything was funny. Why take things so seriously? Having a boyfriend or not is not a life or death thing, but I was acting as if it was. Getting over-emotional and dramatic over something that really doesn’t matter. He’s my friend, I’m his friend, we care about each other, all the rest is just stupid crap. I doubt he’ll see it this way when I get a chance to tell him how I feel now, because he’s still mad at me for some things I said in anger, so he probably thinks it’s still serious. If he gets that serious look on his face when I tell him and he says something like "What you said was still unacceptable" I don’t know how I will be able to keep a straight face. — -Michelle Levin (Luna) http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick http://www.mindspring.com/~designbyluna

Response:

snipped but read First off I’m glad you are ok Why not send him a letter instead?

Response:

the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over & over and expecting a different result. why do you waste your time with this? move on, already. sheesh.

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – The ex-boyfriend and I are trying to be friends, but we keep having the same style of stupid fights that we used to have. What always happens is one person will say something or do something, the other person will assume that they know the motivation behind it, get offended, say something very hurtful out of anger, and then the other person will storm off and say "We’re never talking again! I want you out of my life!" And then a few months later we’ll see each other again and make up and say "I always want you in my life." Right now we are once again in a not talking period. Thursday night on my way home from work, I was approaching an intersection. There are 3 lanes, the left one is turn only, the middle and right ones go straight. I was in the middle one. There was a woman in a car in the left lane and a little behind me, actually in my blind spot. She decided she was going to go straight too, and just as I was crossing she honked at me like it was my fault, and she wasn’t gonna slow down so I swerved to the right to keep her from hitting me. I swerved a bit too fast, I was freaked out, and I lost control of my car for just an instant. Got control back, didn’t hit anything, everything was fine, but in that instant I realized I didn’t want to die with this rift between me and my friend. When I got home I was so relieved to be alive, and I started thinking about him and just laughing. I couldn’t stop laughing, everything about our relationship just struck me as ridiculous. Our fights are so stupid and juvenile. I was in love with him, and he didn’t love me back, so I resented him and hated him for it. How stupid is that? That’s not love, that’s a demand. I just looked at myself and realized I was being a dumbass, and just saw myself in this light where everything was funny. Why take things so seriously? Having a boyfriend or not is not a life or death thing, but I was acting as if it was. Getting over-emotional and dramatic over something that really doesn’t matter. He’s my friend, I’m his friend, we care about each other, all the rest is just stupid crap. I doubt he’ll see it this way when I get a chance to tell him how I feel now, because he’s still mad at me for some things I said in anger, so he probably thinks it’s still serious. If he gets that serious look on his face when I tell him and he says something like "What you said was still unacceptable" I don’t know how I will be able to keep a straight face.

Oh, ffs!

Response:

Right now we are once again in a not talking period.

Keep it that way. Honestly. didn’t want to die with this rift between me and my friend.

Oy. When I got home I was so relieved to be alive, and I started thinking about him and just laughing. I couldn’t stop laughing, everything about our relationship just struck me as ridiculous. Our fights are so stupid and juvenile. I was in love with him, and he didn’t love me back, so I resented him and hated him for it. How stupid is that?

I am totally the wrong guy to answer *that* question, however I *will* say that if you are looking for love, then you should look somewhere else. That’s not love, that’s a demand. I just looked at myself and realized I was being a dumbass, and just saw myself in this light where everything was funny.

It is *not* wrong to want to be loved. It’s wrong to blame *him* for not loving you, but it’s not wrong to move on to someone else who *will*. Decide what you want out of life, and go looking for it. You’ve already looked there, and you didn’t find it. Move on! Having a boyfriend or not is not a life or death thing, but I was acting as if it was. Getting over-emotional and dramatic over something that really doesn’t matter. He’s my friend, I’m his friend, we care about each other, all the rest is just stupid crap.

Okay. I doubt he’ll see it this way when I get a chance to tell him how I feel now, because he’s still mad at me for some things I said in anger, so he probably thinks it’s still serious. If he gets that serious look on his face when I tell him and he says something like "What you said was still unacceptable" I don’t know how I will be able to keep a straight face.

What is it that you want from him, really? — Mike Graham | Metalworker, rustic, part-time zealot. <http://www.metalmangler.com| First run on low-carb: 320lbs to 210lbs. Restarted June 01/2003 – 245/226/not sure. DENIQUE DIAETAM EFFICACEM INVENI

Response:

Luna, Honey, it’s time to move on…There is no reason to relate this little story to your ex….just let it go and find yourself someone new. Being "friends" with your ex doesn’t mean you have to be running buddies — just friendly and nice when you happen upon one another - which means losing the hate, anger, hard-feeling, etc. Try forming some new relationships that don’t involve him!

:: The ex-boyfriend and I are trying to be friends, but we keep having :: the same style of stupid fights that we used to have. What always :: happens is one person will say something or do something, the other :: person will assume that they know the motivation behind it, get :: offended, say something very hurtful out of anger, and then the :: other person will storm off and say "We’re never talking again! I :: want you out of my life!" And then a few months later we’ll see :: each other again and make up and say "I always want you in my life." :: Right now we are once again in a not talking period. :: :: Thursday night on my way home from work, I was approaching an :: intersection. There are 3 lanes, the left one is turn only, the :: middle and right ones go straight. I was in the middle one. There :: was a woman in a car in the left lane and a little behind me, :: actually in my blind spot. She decided she was going to go straight :: too, and just as I was crossing she honked at me like it was my :: fault, and she wasn’t gonna slow down so I swerved to the right to :: keep her from hitting me. I swerved a bit too fast, I was freaked :: out, and I lost control of my car for just an instant. Got control :: back, didn’t hit anything, everything was fine, but in that instant :: I realized I didn’t want to die with this rift between me and my :: friend. :: :: When I got home I was so relieved to be alive, and I started :: thinking about him and just laughing. I couldn’t stop laughing, :: everything about our relationship just struck me as ridiculous. Our :: fights are so stupid and juvenile. I was in love with him, and he :: didn’t love me back, so I resented him and hated him for it. How :: stupid is that? That’s not love, that’s a demand. I just looked at :: myself and realized I was being a dumbass, and just saw myself in :: this light where everything was funny. Why take things so :: seriously? Having a boyfriend or not is not a life or death thing, :: but I was acting as if it was. Getting over-emotional and dramatic :: over something that really doesn’t matter. He’s my friend, I’m his :: friend, we care about each other, all the rest is just stupid crap. :: :: I doubt he’ll see it this way when I get a chance to tell him how I :: feel now, because he’s still mad at me for some things I said in :: anger, so he probably thinks it’s still serious. If he gets that :: serious look on his face when I tell him and he says something like :: "What you said was still unacceptable" I don’t know how I will be :: able to keep a straight face. :: :: — :: -Michelle Levin (Luna) :: http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick :: http://www.mindspring.com/~designbyluna

Response:

Five letters that really say it all. Chris

Response:

(Snipped) If he gets that serious look on his face when I tell him and he says something like "What you said was still unacceptable" I don’t know how I will be able to keep a straight face.

Well, you had a moment there at the intersection, but you are still trying to control the relationship. Actually, thinking how you interact as rediculous just lets you avoid facing the real issues that made you react in such a way. Let it go and move on, the light is still green and you’re still in the middle lane. Henrietta

Response:

This *always* happens when you have one poerson in a relationship who never listens and *assumes* what the other is thinking. In my case that was never me. It is probably the same for you. Thursday night on my way home from work, I was approaching an intersection. There are 3 lanes, the left one is turn only, the middle and right ones go straight. I was in the middle one. There was a woman in a car in the left lane and a little behind me, actually in my blind spot. She decided she was going to go straight too, and just as I was crossing she honked at me like it was my fault, and she wasn’t gonna slow down so I swerved to the right to keep her from hitting me. I swerved a bit too fast, I was freaked out, and I lost control of my car for just an instant. Got control back, didn’t hit anything, everything was fine, but in that instant I realized I didn’t want to die with this rift between me and my friend.

You can always send him a note telling him this and then let him make the first move. If he doesn’t make it then it just shows he does not care and you should move on. When I got home I was so relieved to be alive, and I started thinking about him and just laughing. I couldn’t stop laughing, everything about our relationship just struck me as ridiculous. Our fights are so stupid and juvenile. I was in love with him, and he didn’t love me back, so I resented him and hated him for it. How stupid is that? That’s not love, that’s a demand.

It is only a demand if you expect them to feel the same. I never expected my ex bf to feel the same and I didn’t mind that. All I ever asked from him was to see him at least once a week but according to him even that was too much to ask for. I was called *needy* and *demanding*. I just looked at myself and realized I was being a dumbass, and just saw myself in this light where everything was funny. Why take things so seriously? Having a boyfriend or not is not a life or death thing, but I was acting as if it was. Getting over-emotional and dramatic over something that really doesn’t matter. He’s my friend, I’m his friend, we care about each other, all the rest is just stupid crap.

At least you want to remain friends with him. That is something I can never do nor do I want to. I doubt he’ll see it this way when I get a chance to tell him how I feel now, because he’s still mad at me for some things I said in anger, so he probably thinks it’s still serious. If he gets that serious look on his face when I tell him and he says something like "What you said was still unacceptable" I don’t know how I will be able to keep a straight face.

Just send him and note if you want about what happened and how you feel about things and if he does not respond then you know he does not care and cut him from your life. Miss Jaime 374/326/200(first goal)

Response:

(snipped but read) I doubt he’ll see it this way when I get a chance to tell him how I feel now, because he’s still mad at me for some things I said in anger, so he probably thinks it’s still serious. If he gets that serious look on his face when I tell him and he says something like "What you said was still unacceptable" I don’t know how I will be able to keep a straight face. — -Michelle Levin (Luna)

I’ve read most of the other responses about "moving on" and I think you’re trying to do that. I think this was a very cathartic moment for you and I admire you for understanding and realizing it. Now the tricky part is applying it to your life, appreicating it, respecting it and using it. We don’t get these moments often. It’s up to you to respect yourself, your thought process (which is trying with all it’s might to recover from this very unhealthy relationship) and your ability to create new more respectful, self-esteem filled relationships in your life. One of those relationships is with yourself and your ability to honor these "cathartic" moments and use them for you, not to show off to the ex. Good luck with this. Marcella

Response:

I know! LOL! It’s ridiculous! That’s the whole point, getting upset because of things he does or says because of what I think they mean, or getting upset when I think there’s a chance we’ll get back together and then my hopes are dashed . . . those are the things that I keep doing over and over and are insane. Now I’m just like, fuck it, you know? Life’s too short, it’s not worth the drama. — -Michelle Levin (Luna) http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick http://www.mindspring.com/~designbyluna

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Right now we are once again in a not talking period. Keep it that way. Honestly. didn’t want to die with this rift between me and my friend. Oy. When I got home I was so relieved to be alive, and I started thinking about him and just laughing. I couldn’t stop laughing, everything about our relationship just struck me as ridiculous. Our fights are so stupid and juvenile. I was in love with him, and he didn’t love me back, so I resented him and hated him for it. How stupid is that? I am totally the wrong guy to answer *that* question, however I *will* say that if you are looking for love, then you should look somewhere else. That’s not love, that’s a demand. I just looked at myself and realized I was being a dumbass, and just saw myself in this light where everything was funny. It is *not* wrong to want to be loved. It’s wrong to blame *him* for not loving you, but it’s not wrong to move on to someone else who *will*. Decide what you want out of life, and go looking for it. You’ve already looked there, and you didn’t find it. Move on! Having a boyfriend or not is not a life or death thing, but I was acting as if it was. Getting over-emotional and dramatic over something that really doesn’t matter. He’s my friend, I’m his friend, we care about each other, all the rest is just stupid crap. Okay. I doubt he’ll see it this way when I get a chance to tell him how I feel now, because he’s still mad at me for some things I said in anger, so he probably thinks it’s still serious. If he gets that serious look on his face when I tell him and he says something like "What you said was still unacceptable" I don’t know how I will be able to keep a straight face. What is it that you want from him, really?

Hmm, at this point, I’d have to say I’d like to just have him in the periphery of my life, you know? Like my other ex-boyfriends that I still talk to. Be able to call or email every once in a while, just to update each other on where we are in our lives, hang out with him and our common friends once every few months or so, be able to call him and tell him a joke when I hear one he’d like, stuff like that. — -Michelle Levin (Luna) http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick http://www.mindspring.com/~designbyluna

Response:

Oh, I am. The hardest part about not hanging out is that we share a lot of friends in common, so it’s like if we’re "not talking" then it means stupid crap like "Oh, I can’t go there if he’s gonna be there" and vice-versa. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Luna, Honey, it’s time to move on…There is no reason to relate this little story to your ex….just let it go and find yourself someone new. Being "friends" with your ex doesn’t mean you have to be running buddies — just friendly and nice when you happen upon one another - which means losing the hate, anger, hard-feeling, etc. Try forming some new relationships that don’t involve him! :: The ex-boyfriend and I are trying to be friends, but we keep having :: the same style of stupid fights that we used to have. What always :: happens is one person will say something or do something, the other :: person will assume that they know the motivation behind it, get :: offended, say something very hurtful out of anger, and then the :: other person will storm off and say "We’re never talking again! I :: want you out of my life!" And then a few months later we’ll see :: each other again and make up and say "I always want you in my life." :: Right now we are once again in a not talking period. :: :: Thursday night on my way home from work, I was approaching an :: intersection. There are 3 lanes, the left one is turn only, the :: middle and right ones go straight. I was in the middle one. There :: was a woman in a car in the left lane and a little behind me, :: actually in my blind spot. She decided she was going to go straight :: too, and just as I was crossing she honked at me like it was my :: fault, and she wasn’t gonna slow down so I swerved to the right to :: keep her from hitting me. I swerved a bit too fast, I was freaked :: out, and I lost control of my car for just an instant. Got control :: back, didn’t hit anything, everything was fine, but in that instant :: I realized I didn’t want to die with this rift between me and my :: friend. :: :: When I got home I was so relieved to be alive, and I started :: thinking about him and just laughing. I couldn’t stop laughing, :: everything about our relationship just struck me as ridiculous. Our :: fights are so stupid and juvenile. I was in love with him, and he :: didn’t love me back, so I resented him and hated him for it. How :: stupid is that? That’s not love, that’s a demand. I just looked at :: myself and realized I was being a dumbass, and just saw myself in :: this light where everything was funny. Why take things so :: seriously? Having a boyfriend or not is not a life or death thing, :: but I was acting as if it was. Getting over-emotional and dramatic :: over something that really doesn’t matter. He’s my friend, I’m his :: friend, we care about each other, all the rest is just stupid crap. :: :: I doubt he’ll see it this way when I get a chance to tell him how I :: feel now, because he’s still mad at me for some things I said in :: anger, so he probably thinks it’s still serious. If he gets that :: serious look on his face when I tell him and he says something like :: "What you said was still unacceptable" I don’t know how I will be :: able to keep a straight face. :: :: — :: -Michelle Levin (Luna) :: http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick :: http://www.mindspring.com/~designbyluna

– -Michelle Levin (Luna) http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick http://www.mindspring.com/~designbyluna

Response:

(Snipped) If he gets that serious look on his face when I tell him and he says something like "What you said was still unacceptable" I don’t know how I will be able to keep a straight face. Well, you had a moment there at the intersection, but you are still trying to control the relationship. Actually, thinking how you interact as rediculous just lets you avoid facing the real issues that made you react in such a way. Let it go and move on, the light is still green and you’re still in the middle lane. Henrietta

Yeah, but I think what was ridiculous to me was that this deliberately avoiding each other thing is another way of not moving on. Like we have to call our mutual friends and check to see if the other one is gonna be there and if it’s ok to go. That’s the kind of crap I’m sick of. And there are no "real issues" any more. All the real issues have long since been resolved, it’s just the hanging on to hurt and anger that seems stupid now. I’m over it, I don’t want a relationship with him anymore, it just seems really dumb to purposely avoid each other and not even be able to say hi if we happen to run into each other. — -Michelle Levin (Luna) http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick http://www.mindspring.com/~designbyluna

Response:

In ours it was both of us. We both were guilty of jumping to conclusions and feeling hurt when no hurt was intended. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Thursday night on my way home from work, I was approaching an intersection. There are 3 lanes, the left one is turn only, the middle and right ones go straight. I was in the middle one. There was a woman in a car in the left lane and a little behind me, actually in my blind spot. She decided she was going to go straight too, and just as I was crossing she honked at me like it was my fault, and she wasn’t gonna slow down so I swerved to the right to keep her from hitting me. I swerved a bit too fast, I was freaked out, and I lost control of my car for just an instant. Got control back, didn’t hit anything, everything was fine, but in that instant I realized I didn’t want to die with this rift between me and my friend. You can always send him a note telling him this and then let him make the first move. If he doesn’t make it then it just shows he does not care and you should move on.

That’s a good idea! I think I’ll do it that way. I was just thinking of telling him since I’m bound to run into him at one of the places we both hang out. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – When I got home I was so relieved to be alive, and I started thinking about him and just laughing. I couldn’t stop laughing, everything about our relationship just struck me as ridiculous. Our fights are so stupid and juvenile. I was in love with him, and he didn’t love me back, so I resented him and hated him for it. How stupid is that? That’s not love, that’s a demand. It is only a demand if you expect them to feel the same. I never expected my ex bf to feel the same and I didn’t mind that. All I ever asked from him was to see him at least once a week but according to him even that was too much to ask for. I was called *needy* and *demanding*.

Well, everyone has their own thresh-hold for what’s too much. I just looked at myself and realized I was being a dumbass, and just saw myself in this light where everything was funny. Why take things so seriously? Having a boyfriend or not is not a life or death thing, but I was acting as if it was. Getting over-emotional and dramatic over something that really doesn’t matter. He’s my friend, I’m his friend, we care about each other, all the rest is just stupid crap. At least you want to remain friends with him. That is something I can never do nor do I want to.

I don’t think we have a choice of whether to remain friends. We are friends by the definition that we still care about each other. That’s not something most people can just turn off like a switch. I doubt he’ll see it this way when I get a chance to tell him how I feel now, because he’s still mad at me for some things I said in anger, so he probably thinks it’s still serious. If he gets that serious look on his face when I tell him and he says something like "What you said was still unacceptable" I don’t know how I will be able to keep a straight face. Just send him and note if you want about what happened and how you feel about things and if he does not respond then you know he does not care and cut him from your life.

Good idea. I know he cares, I just don’t know if it’s been long enough for him to not be hurt anymore by the things I’ve said and done in the past. I’m not hurt any more. It’s the hurt and angry part for me that looked ridiculous. Miss Jaime 374/326/200(first goal)

– -Michelle Levin (Luna) http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick http://www.mindspring.com/~designbyluna

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – (snipped but read) I doubt he’ll see it this way when I get a chance to tell him how I feel now, because he’s still mad at me for some things I said in anger, so he probably thinks it’s still serious. If he gets that serious look on his face when I tell him and he says something like "What you said was still unacceptable" I don’t know how I will be able to keep a straight face. — -Michelle Levin (Luna) I’ve read most of the other responses about "moving on" and I think you’re trying to do that. I think this was a very cathartic moment for you and I admire you for understanding and realizing it. Now the tricky part is applying it to your life, appreicating it, respecting it and using it. We don’t get these moments often. It’s up to you to respect yourself, your thought process (which is trying with all it’s might to recover from this very unhealthy relationship) and your ability to create new more respectful, self-esteem filled relationships in your life. One of those relationships is with yourself and your ability to honor these "cathartic" moments and use them for you, not to show off to the ex. Good luck with this. Marcella

Yeah, that makes sense. So many people think moving on means throwing someone out of your life. Maybe that works for other people, but not for me. If I am so unable to deal with my emotions that I have to completely avoid the other person, plan my social life around not running into them, then I haven’t "moved on" at all. To me "moving on" means letting go of the hurt, the anger, the jealousy, and finally being able to appreciate someone for all the good things they are instead of placing my expectations on them and being disappointed when they don’t meet them. I have two ex-boyfriends I still talk to and see occasionally and have remained friends with. I have more that I don’t have in my life any more. It remains to be seen which category this particular guy will fall into, but based on the fact that we were friends for years before we dated, I’m betting we’ll eventually be friends again too. — -Michelle Levin (Luna) http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick http://www.mindspring.com/~designbyluna

Response:

Hmm, at this point, I’d have to say I’d like to just have him in the periphery of my life, you know?

So you want to be ‘friendly but distant’. What would have to change to make this happen? — Mike Graham | Metalworker, rustic, part-time zealot. <http://www.metalmangler.com| First run on low-carb: 320lbs to 210lbs. Restarted June 01/2003 – 245/226/not sure. DENIQUE DIAETAM EFFICACEM INVENI

Response:

What is it that you want from him, really? Hmm, at this point, I’d have to say I’d like to just have him in the periphery of my life, you know? Like my other ex-boyfriends that I still talk to. Be able to call or email every once in a while, just to update each other on where we are in our lives, hang out with him and our common friends once every few months or so, be able to call him and tell him a joke when I hear one he’d like, stuff like that.

Sorry to jump in here, but: You can’t always BE friends with people from your past. Sometimes it is best to let them go. And sometimes it is only with time apart (really far apart) that you can one day get that friendship back.

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – (Snipped) If he gets that serious look on his face when I tell him and he says something like "What you said was still unacceptable" I don’t know how I will be able to keep a straight face. Well, you had a moment there at the intersection, but you are still trying to control the relationship. Actually, thinking how you interact as rediculous just lets you avoid facing the real issues that made you react in such a way. Let it go and move on, the light is still green and you’re still in the middle lane. Henrietta Yeah, but I think what was ridiculous to me was that this deliberately avoiding each other thing is another way of not moving on. Like we have to call our mutual friends and check to see if the other one is gonna be there and if it’s ok to go. That’s the kind of crap I’m sick of. And there are no "real issues" any more. All the real issues have long since been resolved, it’s just the hanging on to hurt and anger that seems stupid now. I’m over it, I don’t want a relationship with him anymore, it just seems really dumb to purposely avoid each other and not even be able to say hi if we happen to run into each other.

Perhaps HE can’t deal with seeing you (for whatever reason)? Just a thought. But sometimes it IS best to not see each other for a while.

Response:

Hmm, at this point, I’d have to say I’d like to just have him in the periphery of my life, you know? So you want to be ‘friendly but distant’. What would have to change to make this happen?

Stop fighting about stupid stuff. Let go of past hurts and anger. Stop expecting him to live up to the "ideal version" of him that I fell in love with. Not take myself, and life, so seriously. — -Michelle Levin (Luna) http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick http://www.mindspring.com/~designbyluna

Response:

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – What is it that you want from him, really? Hmm, at this point, I’d have to say I’d like to just have him in the periphery of my life, you know? Like my other ex-boyfriends that I still talk to. Be able to call or email every once in a while, just to update each other on where we are in our lives, hang out with him and our common friends once every few months or so, be able to call him and tell him a joke when I hear one he’d like, stuff like that. Sorry to jump in here, but: You can’t always BE friends with people from your past. Sometimes it is best to let them go. And sometimes it is only with time apart (really far apart) that you can one day get that friendship back.

Yes, I know this. It would be one thing if I had calmly and rationally decided that time apart would be best. But instead I was all "He’s a scumbag, I hate him, I can’t go to A, B, and C because he will be there." I had turned my obsession over making a relationship work into an obsession with hating and vilifying him. That’s not healthy either, and that was one of the things that made me laugh. I was acting like a 3rd grade girl, purposefully walking by someone she hates just so she can haughtily ignore them. Pah. — -Michelle Levin (Luna) http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick http://www.mindspring.com/~designbyluna

Response:

Yeah. I AM going to see him though. Like I’ve said before, we share a lot of the same friends, from way back, we go to the same places to hang out, and there’s a sci-fi fantasy convention coming up that he will probably be going to. My attitude shift has more to do with saying to myself "Avoiding people and places I like because HE will be there is stupid. Acting all bitchy and ignoring him when I do run into him is stupid." I don’t think we’re ready to be friends yet, but I’m certainly not going to rearrange my social life and/or act like I don’t know him when I run into him. I’ve changed my mind about seeking him out to tell him what happened in the car, he doesn’t need to know that. He’s smart enough to know that the last round of fighting, when I said some hurtful things, was just my talking out of anger (which he has a habit of doing too, so I know he understands that I didn’t mean the things I said) And he’s smart enough to know that after several dozen times of running into me and seeing me being happy and pleasant and not angry and hurt anymore, that eventually, maybe in the next year or two, it will be "safe" to try and resume our friendship. In the meantime, a cute guy customer at work asked for my number, I’m going bowling with some friends today, I’m going to kareoke tomorrow and hopefully meeting some friends there, I’m going to a meet-up Tuesday . . . I’m still losing weight and getting more and more into the job-search . . . plenty of other stuff going on. The one thing that is troubling me is that he broke the lock on my car door by accident a few months ago and said he would fix it, but he hasn’t yet. It still locks, I just can’t unlock it from the outside, I have to unlock the passenger side. It’s annoying, but I can live with it for now, but eventually I want to sell this car and I will need it fixed, and I sure as hell don’t want to pay for it. — -Michelle Levin (Luna) http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick http://www.mindspring.com/~designbyluna

Response:

Stop fighting about stupid stuff. Let go of past hurts and anger.

Will it work if only you do this, but he doesn’t? Stop expecting him to live up to the "ideal version" of him that I fell in love with. Not take myself, and life, so seriously.

This part sounds good. — Mike Graham | Metalworker, rustic, part-time zealot. <http://www.metalmangler.com| First run on low-carb: 320lbs to 210lbs. Restarted June 01/2003 – 245/226/not sure. DENIQUE DIAETAM EFFICACEM INVENI

Response:

scumbag, I hate him, I can’t go to A, B, and C because he will be there."

Yes. Yes I’ve heard of that happening. I had turned my obsession over making a relationship work into an obsession with hating and vilifying him. That’s not healthy either,

No, no it’s not. and that was one of the things that made me laugh. I was acting like a 3rd grade girl, purposefully walking by someone she hates just so she can haughtily ignore them. Pah.

Well do him a favour and don’t tell him about your new emotional epiphany. You’ll just make him anxious and guarded. If you feel you can treat him better, then do that, but don’t get into a touchy-feelie thing that he’s going to feel he has to reciprocate. — Mike Graham | Metalworker, rustic, part-time zealot. <http://www.metalmangler.com| First run on low-carb: 320lbs to 210lbs. Restarted June 01/2003 – 245/226/not sure. DENIQUE DIAETAM EFFICACEM INVENI

Response:

I’ve changed my mind about seeking him out to tell him what happened in the car, he doesn’t need to know that.

Good idea. These epiphanies aren’t necessarily long-lasting, by the way. I’ve been at death’s door enough times to have my own key, and believe me, if in two months time it means more to you than a vaguely interesting story to tell at parties, then it was a rare one, indeed. The one thing that is troubling me is that he broke the lock on my car door by accident a few months ago and said he would fix it, but he hasn’t yet. It still locks, I just can’t unlock it from the outside, I have to unlock the passenger side. It’s annoying, but I can live with it for now, but eventually I want to sell this car and I will need it fixed, and I sure as hell don’t want to pay for it.

Pricey. It’s not that expensive to buy a lock tumbler, but it isn’t necessarily going to use the same key as the rest of the car, so usually what you do is buy a new lockset (new tumblers for all doors, trunk, ignition, glove compartment, the works). I’d expect it to cost about $500 if I needed a set for my car. It might be possible to order a tumbler using the code on your key. Maybe. Check with the dealership to see if they can do it. — Mike Graham | Metalworker, rustic, part-time zealot. <http://www.metalmangler.com| First run on low-carb: 320lbs to 210lbs. Restarted June 01/2003 – 245/226/not sure. DENIQUE DIAETAM EFFICACEM INVENI

Response:

Permalink
In: Acting Resume

You online HQ for everything ACTING

Home

Act Acting

OT: Life changing moment

Question:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Recent Posts

Categories

Popular Posts