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a question about DDNOS

Question:

The other day after I said something to my t’pist he grinned and said ’sounds like you are integrated to me’ and then proceeded to be very silly about how he can add that to his ‘collection’ of ‘cures’ *grin* He then said I can ‘only’ be DDNOS from now on. I checked inside and no one disagreed with his, so I guess he’s right. :) My question is for all of you DDNOSers out there. How should I be acting now that I’m not DID any more? What are the cool, in things for me to be doing? I want to continue to fit in here and if I can’t do it as a multiple I figure I should learn the ‘rules’ for being DDNOS. If any singletons want to reply to this, that would be fine as well because my t’pist keeps telling me we are doing ’singleton work’ in our sessions and I figure it’s just a matter of time before I need to know singleton rules for the group. :) And of course I always welcome replies from multiples because I can relate so well to them *grin* Mostly I’m just really amused at how all of this has happened so gradually and sort of in the background for my system. It makes me realize that integration is _not_ an important part of t’py and it either happens because that is what is going to happen with that system or it doesn’t happen because that isn’t what is best for that system, and it doesn’t matter either way. Here’s some advice:) for all of you who are actively working _toward_ integration and for all of you who are actively working _against_ integration, don’t bother. It’s either gonna happen or not and it’s just a natural thing one way or another. Don’t waste your time working on/against it so intentionally and just spend your time working on other stuff. Plus it’s more fun this way cause you never know what’s going to be the outcome *grin* Rainbow Colors (Jill) —      I am in the process of becoming, so this space is blank.

Response:

The other day after I said something to my t’pist he grinned and said ’sounds like you are integrated to me’ and then proceeded to be very silly about how he can add that to his ‘collection’ of ‘cures’ *grin* He then said I can ‘only’ be DDNOS from now on. I checked inside and no one disagreed with his, so I guess he’s right. :) My question is for all of you DDNOSers out there. How should I be acting now that I’m not DID any more?

Like yourself :-)  What are the cool, in things for me to be doing? I want to continue to fit in here and if I can’t do it as a multiple I figure I should learn the ‘rules’ for being DDNOS.

Ut oh– just because you no longer fit the DID dx doesn’t mean you are no longer multiple! It just means you no longer fit into that "amnesia" criterion. Unless you’ve fused and no longer have any sense of other separate parts coexisting with you?  If any singletons want to reply to this, that would be – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -fine as well because my t’pist keeps telling me we are doing ’singleton work’ in our sessions and I figure it’s just a matter of time before I need to know singleton rules for the group. :) And of course I always welcome replies from multiples because I can relate so well to them *grin* Mostly I’m just really amused at how all of this has happened so gradually and sort of in the background for my system. It makes me realize that integration is _not_ an important part of t’py and it either happens because that is what is going to happen with that system or it doesn’t happen because that isn’t what is best for that system, and it doesn’t matter either way. Here’s some advice:) for all of you who are actively working _toward_ integration and for all of you who are actively working _against_ integration, don’t bother. It’s either gonna happen or not and it’s just a natural thing one way or another. Don’t waste your time working on/against it so intentionally and just spend your time working on other stuff.

Exactly how I feel too! We’ve experienced a lot of integration, also some actual fusions, and it just happens, volition is a moot point :-)   Jill, I think this is a wonderful moment in time for you! You’ve worked hard and you’ve come this far and celebration is in order! So…. Congrats!! Good work! – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Plus it’s more fun this way cause you never know what’s going to be the outcome *grin* Rainbow Colors (Jill) —     I am in the process of becoming, so this space is blank.

Response:

Hi Jill, Congratulations! Spoiler for integration talk: @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @ @   And totally agree about integration.  Of 25 alters, only one integrated in a session with any kind of input from our T, and many others had already occurred.  ’I', as the ‘host’ experienced the first one like a scene from Ghost, in which a ghost takes over Whoopi Goldberg’s body.  All of a sudden Todoe (an alter by this name) was joining with me (fusing), and I wasn’t sure I wanted it, but I had absolutely no say in it and couldn’t have stopped it had I tried. At the "end", there was a "mass" integration.  Kasey was so scared all the time, and I finally asked her to be honest about if she wanted to integrate, because it would be in character for her to say no knowing I didn’t want to lose her (8 year old girl – my buddy).  She said, "Well, actually…".  So she did and we just went right down the line and everybody kind leaped in one after another, except Guardian who kinda lingered half in and half out for a coupla days to help me, thank goodness. Of course the alters are now more like "parts" when singletons say , "There’s a part of me that…".  And some were quite integrated whereas others have had a heck of a time getting accepted or wanting to relinquish a separate identity. But the dif is that there are no "voices" in my head that I don’t generate anymore. Kinda quiet. Best wishes, Todoe – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Mostly I’m just really amused at how all of this has happened so gradually and sort of in the background for my system. It makes me realize that integration is _not_ an important part of t’py and it either happens because that is what is going to happen with that system or it doesn’t happen because that isn’t what is best for that system, and it doesn’t matter either way. Here’s some advice:) for all of you who are actively working _toward_ integration and for all of you who are actively working _against_ integration, don’t bother. It’s either gonna happen or not and it’s just a natural thing one way or another. Don’t waste your time working on/against it so intentionally and just spend your time working on other stuff. Plus it’s more fun this way cause you never know what’s going to be the outcome *grin* Rainbow Colors (Jill) —      I am in the process of becoming, so this space is blank.

"May fortune favor the foolish."                                    Captain James T. Kirk        About to attempt time travel to retrieve      2 humpback whales from the past to save the world.              ( "Voyage Home"  Star Trek movie.)                       O.W.L. Productions — For more information about this service, send e-mail to:

Response:

The other day after I said something to my t’pist he grinned and said ’sounds like you are integrated to me’ and then proceeded to be very silly about how he can add that to his ‘collection’ of ‘cures’ *grin* He then said I can ‘only’ be DDNOS from now on. I checked inside and no one disagreed with his, so I guess he’s right. :)

Excuse me for shouting but… CONGRATULATIONS!!! I am so happy for you, Jill!  What you say about integration is so true!  There is no need to be "for it" or "against it" because each system will do what it needs to to. What you describe is happening to me, too.  It’s amazing!  For me integration was never an issue one way or the other.  I read a lot on the subject and understood some of the fears about it.  I also felt encouraged by imagining me being whole and not splintered and fragmented every which way.   Thanks for sharing! Peace, Hope and Rainbows — Ame

Response:

Cool I guess you just be you!!!! :) Bree – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – The other day after I said something to my t’pist he grinned and said ’sounds like you are integrated to me’ and then proceeded to be very silly about how he can add that to his ‘collection’ of ‘cures’ *grin* He then said I can ‘only’ be DDNOS from now on. I checked inside and no one disagreed with his, so I guess he’s right. :) My question is for all of you DDNOSers out there. How should I be acting now that I’m not DID any more? What are the cool, in things for me to be doing? I want to continue to fit in here and if I can’t do it as a multiple I figure I should learn the ‘rules’ for being DDNOS. If any singletons want to reply to this, that would be fine as well because my t’pist keeps telling me we are doing ’singleton work’ in our sessions and I figure it’s just a matter of time before I need to know singleton rules for the group. :) And of course I always welcome replies from multiples because I can relate so well to them *grin* Mostly I’m just really amused at how all of this has happened so gradually and sort of in the background for my system. It makes me realize that integration is _not_ an important part of t’py and it either happens because that is what is going to happen with that system or it doesn’t happen because that isn’t what is best for that system, and it doesn’t matter either way. Here’s some advice:) for all of you who are actively working _toward_ integration and for all of you who are actively working _against_ integration, don’t bother. It’s either gonna happen or not and it’s just a natural thing one way or another. Don’t waste your time working on/against it so intentionally and just spend your time working on other stuff. Plus it’s more fun this way cause you never know what’s going to be the outcome *grin* Rainbow Colors (Jill) —      I am in the process of becoming, so this space is blank.

– You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free and that should scare the cr*p out my parents!

Response:

The other day after I said something to my t’pist he grinned and said ’sounds like you are integrated to me’ and then proceeded to be very silly about how he can add that to his ‘collection’ of ‘cures’ *grin* He then said I can ‘only’ be DDNOS from now on. I checked inside and no one disagreed with his, so I guess he’s right. :) My question is for all of you DDNOSers out there. How should I be acting now that I’m not DID any more? Like yourself :-)

Oh great! _Another_ smart aleck in the group *huge grin* Which one of myselves should I be like then? :) What are the cool, in things for me to be doing? I want to continue to fit in here and if I can’t do it as a multiple I figure I should learn the ‘rules’ for being DDNOS. Ut oh– just because you no longer fit the DID dx doesn’t mean you are no longer multiple! It just means you no longer fit into that "amnesia" criterion. Unless you’ve fused and no longer have any sense of other separate parts coexisting with you?

Right, that’s it exactly. As far as I can tell, we are all so blended that there are no more separate parts inside. Or if they are separate they are so together as to be mostly not separate (get it?:) Ooh! Just got a flash of the results of a cool hypnosis game we used to play. Not sure I can describe it but, do you know what defraction grating looks like? How the rainbow colors in it are all blurred together and sort of mixed and blended so that you can see only a fuzzy rainbow? That’s us!!! :) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – If any singletons want to reply to this, that would be fine as well because my t’pist keeps telling me we are doing ’singleton work’ in our sessions and I figure it’s just a matter of time before I need to know singleton rules for the group. :) And of course I always welcome replies from multiples because I can relate so well to them *grin* Mostly I’m just really amused at how all of this has happened so gradually and sort of in the background for my system. It makes me realize that integration is _not_ an important part of t’py and it either happens because that is what is going to happen with that system or it doesn’t happen because that isn’t what is best for that system, and it doesn’t matter either way. Here’s some advice:) for all of you who are actively working _toward_ integration and for all of you who are actively working _against_ integration, don’t bother. It’s either gonna happen or not and it’s just a natural thing one way or another. Don’t waste your time working on/against it so intentionally and just spend your time working on other stuff. Exactly how I feel too! We’ve experienced a lot of integration, also some actual fusions, and it just happens, volition is a moot point :-)   Jill, I think this is a wonderful moment in time for you! You’ve worked hard and you’ve come this far and celebration is in order! So…. Congrats!! Good work! Plus it’s more fun this way cause you never know what’s going to be the outcome *grin*

Rainbow Colors (Jill) —      I am in the process of becoming, so this space is blank.

Response:

My question is for all of you DDNOSers out there. How should I be acting now that I’m not DID any more? What are the cool, in things for me to be doing? I want to continue to fit in here and if I can’t do it as a multiple I figure I should learn the ‘rules’ for being DDNOS.

1.  If you slip up and refer to yourself as "we", go into a big coughing fit and make believe you had something stuck in your throat in such a way that "I" came out as "we". 2.  Waste hours and hours of session time saying stuff like, "Of course, I don’t have any parts, but if I did have a part who was, say, male and only ten years old and very angry, then he might feel like fighintg back when our, I mean* my*, boss gets mad at us, I mean *me*, at work." 3.  When you fail to remember what you said fifteen minutes ago, refer to that lapse as "flibertygibbedness" rather than "zoning out." 4.  Accessorize, accessorize, accessorize. swiv

Response:

My question is for all of you DDNOSers out there. How should I be acting now that I’m not DID any more? What are the cool, in things for me to be doing? I want to continue to fit in here and if I can’t do it as a multiple I figure I should learn the ‘rules’ for being DDNOS.

        There aren’t any rules for being DDNOS, any more than there are "rules" for being multiple. It’s the FMS people that think therapy is "Multiple School." All you have to do is be yourself(s), just as you are, and identify common goals and issues to work on.         Peter Peter M. Barach, Ph.D., Clinical Psychologist Horizons Counseling Services, Inc. 5851 Pearl Road, Suite 305 Parma Heights, OH 44130 440-845-9011 (press 6 if you get voice mail) fax: 440-845-9013

Response:

In article < The other day after I said something to my t’pist he grinned and said ’sounds like you are integrated to me’ and then proceeded to be very silly about how he can add that to his ‘collection’ of ‘cures’ *grin* He then said I can ‘only’ be DDNOS from now on. I checked inside and no one disagreed with his, so I guess he’s right. :)

Cool – if there was no disagreement I guess it’s at least satisfactory for all of you, so ‘Congratulations!’ too. My question is for all of you DDNOSers out there. How should I be acting now that I’m not DID any more? What are the cool, in things for me to be doing? I want to continue to fit in here and if I can’t do it as a multiple I figure I should learn the ‘rules’ for being DDNOS. If any singletons want to reply to this, that would be fine as well because my t’pist keeps telling me we are doing ’singleton work’ in our sessions and I figure it’s just a matter of time before I need to know singleton rules for the group. :) And of course I always welcome replies from multiples because I can relate so well to them *grin*

Well… I’m a DWD (Dissociative Without Diagnosis) so I _could_ be DDNOS, or singleton, or I guess I might even be DID and kinda still hiding it or something… But I usually think of myself as just someone who dissociates a lot, at least more than average. And I said ’someone’ in that previous sentence so that indicates sense of individual self rather than system, although I have occasionally referred to myself as ‘we’ so I don’t know how big an indicator that is. <Deep breath Anyway… Ummm… Jill, if I knew the rules to being me (whatever that is – literally DDNOS although not diagnosed) I’d tell you. If I knew the rules I guess I wouldn’t be here, I’d be out making a mint <G. The only rule that consistently does me any good is ‘be yourself’ – I often have no idea what being me amounts to, I often don’t know how to do it, but that in itself is sort of doing it too. Mostly I’m just really amused at how all of this has happened so gradually and sort of in the background for my system. It makes me realize that integration is _not_ an important part of t’py and it either happens because that is what is going to happen with that system or it doesn’t happen because that isn’t what is best for that system, and it doesn’t matter either way. Here’s some advice:) for all of you who are actively working _toward_ integration and for all of you who are actively working _against_ integration, don’t bother. It’s either gonna happen or not and it’s just a natural thing one way or another. Don’t waste your time working on/against it so intentionally and just spend your time working on other stuff.

I think it’s the same when you move from one sense of self to another – you _are_ being DDNOS so you can’t really do it ‘wrong’. It happens as it happens, whatever you want to do or what rules seem appropriate. And if you move on from there, well you’ll be being whatever you are at that time so if you accept that new description you’re defining it just by being yourself. (If this sounds circular somehow, just imagine how it is for me typing it.) Plus it’s more fun this way cause you never know what’s going to be the outcome *grin*

I have no idea what month it is most of the time, let alone any idea what the outcome of any particular course of action might be :) Rainbow Colors (Jill)

Mick. —      I am in the process of becoming, so this space is blank.

Response:

 Well, as a singleton, I have to warn you that now you are only allowed to have *one* opinion about any given thing and you can’t *ever* change it.  Like me, you have to always know what you think and where you stand on the issues, particularly those in this newsgroup.  ;)

I have a feeling you aren’t a very ‘good’ singleton *wicked grin* My t’pist (who is _very_ singletonish!) insists that such a thing as ambiguity exists and that this allows singletons to be totally arbitrary in their opinions at any given moment. Maybe it’s not such a bad thing after all, this ambiguity…. ARGH! What am I saying!!??!! I think I have to go lie down now.  Congratulations *are* specified!  May your full spectrum continue to expand. Nigel

Well, thanks but the mental image _that_ comment brought up nearly made me bust something from laughing. Sort of an exploding rainbow effect :) Rainbow Colors (Jill) KABOOM! —      I am in the process of becoming, so this space is blank.

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