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Hello again

Question:

"Data888" wrote > I managed to pass uni last semester (woo-hoo!).

Excellent! > I know you guys probably don’t care but I just felt like writing,

Whatever gave you that impression? Sometimes it’s just difficult to respond to another person even if you’d really like to. > and > maybe hearing some other people’s advice.

I’d give advice, but mine is so off the beaten track ain’t no one listening. Actually, it’s probably too subtle. > Nick

- Michaela — To release others from the expectations we have of them is to really love them.     ~ Shirley Maclaine

Response:

Expression of the soul is what you need. It’s good that you passed your exams and can continue onwards. Don’t resort to drinking – it’s the biggest lie that’s handed to us, amongst others. It’ll only be another anchor to weigh you down in this crap forsaken world, and drinking doesn’t help, it only releases another can of worms for you to deal with — sooner or later. Drinking probably causes more harm than it does good. You’ll get your gf and wife one day – if that be your wish, may it be granted to you – especially if it is what you desire and want most out of life. Desires drive this world. Harvey In article <3F1E932E.3010…@bigfoot.com.au>, kcinSPAMBL…@bigfoot.com.au says… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Hi. I know I don’t post often anymore but I still lurk. >Basically I’ve just been feeling crappy the couple of days, all >depressed and I wanted to write some stuff. >I managed to pass uni last semester (woo-hoo!). Still don’t have many >friends there though. I’ve found myself drinking a lot lately. Not sure >if that’s a good thing. >Went to a friend’s 18th last Saturday night. Had a good time. It’s >really starting to bother me being the only (or one of the only) single >guys in the group of people I see a lot. Or it does until I get drunk >enough I don’t care anymore. One friend asked me if I had a GF. He >didn’t seem to realize how hard it is for some of us. I think maybe he >realizes now that not all of us have girls throwing themselves at us. >Still just friends with the girl I met online. I’m not sure anymore if I >want to take it furthur. We’ve become good friends, and even if I could, >I don’t think I’d want to risk that. Meeting her for lunch again >tomorrow, so that might cheer me up. >I know you guys probably don’t care but I just felt like writing, and >maybe hearing some other people’s advice. >Nick

Response:

Hi. I know I don’t post often anymore but I still lurk. Basically I’ve just been feeling crappy the couple of days, all depressed and I wanted to write some stuff. I managed to pass uni last semester (woo-hoo!). Still don’t have many friends there though. I’ve found myself drinking a lot lately. Not sure if that’s a good thing. Went to a friend’s 18th last Saturday night. Had a good time. It’s really starting to bother me being the only (or one of the only) single guys in the group of people I see a lot. Or it does until I get drunk enough I don’t care anymore. One friend asked me if I had a GF. He didn’t seem to realize how hard it is for some of us. I think maybe he realizes now that not all of us have girls throwing themselves at us. Still just friends with the girl I met online. I’m not sure anymore if I want to take it furthur. We’ve become good friends, and even if I could, I don’t think I’d want to risk that. Meeting her for lunch again tomorrow, so that might cheer me up. I know you guys probably don’t care but I just felt like writing, and maybe hearing some other people’s advice. Nick

Response:

In article <361B61A1.EBD4E…@abcde.com>,   Anon <a…@abcde.com> wrote: Hi! This is Not so bad as you think. FIRST! You’re trying! and… [snip] > The people I know think I’m a freak.  I’m OK if I’m with one of them, > but in a group I say little or nothing.  I can’t help it.  I never get > asked to join them (e.g. going out somewhere), so I don’t feel welcome > if I follow them around to see what their doing.  The’re all really > outgoing and have hundreds of female friends.  It’s so depressing to be > me.

OK, is there one of them or someone else who you could mention this to? I’m assuming that’s a less "scary" thing than talking to any of those attractive gals. > During the summer I set myself a goal of asking out this girl one of my > friends knew at 6-th Form (High School).  She has a part time job where > I used to work. > I picked up something and walked over to the counter she sits at.  You > can guess what happened next, I froze like a statue and pretended to > look away.  I get so intimidated by women (even though she just looked > up and smiled).

I was just like that up to only a few years ago. Acting like that and feeling like hopeless s***. Now I can hold my gaze and try REALLY HARD to maintain a "comfortable" smile. It seems to me that I can do that 1  if i don’t even know WHO I’m going to be looking up at and just react. or 2  if i have the premeditated appropriate face "made up" (from a quick, but HONEST feeling) just before I look up. Hope i described that intelligibly… Most of that part of my progress has been in the last few months… If she is from a previous environment, such as a class where I never talked to her, I can often get to talking a little or at least a nod, "Hi", etc. I think it’s too soon for me or you to expect to immediately ask a gal out approaching her in those conditions. I guess other guys could ask a gal out in those circumstances. At least you are known to her from school. It seems more reasonable to visit the counter a few different days. If she’s there often and reliably, "reward" yourself when you’re in a good mood. Go visit right away. that’s the time to talk about something. I don’t know what subject, but you’ll be less likely to have been thinking about those depressing topics if you talk to her when you’re in a good mood (coming down from manic.. he he). well that’s my strategy… maybe you’ll do better and sooner… > I’m so fed up with things.  In my whole life (19 years) I’ve never had a > single female friend and its ruining my life. > I can’t be arsed to type any more.  Too depressed…. > Anon

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Response:

Hello, I don’t know whether any of you remember, but I posted a few times about 4 months ago.  At home we don’t have internet access, but I’m back at University now. My summer was very boring.  I haven’t many friends, and the ones I do have live quite far away.  I get so lonely, and despite being back here, things aren’t going to get any better. The people I know think I’m a freak.  I’m OK if I’m with one of them, but in a group I say little or nothing.  I can’t help it.  I never get asked to join them (e.g. going out somewhere), so I don’t feel welcome if I follow them around to see what their doing.  The’re all really outgoing and have hundreds of female friends.  It’s so depressing to be me. During the summer I set myself a goal of asking out this girl one of my friends knew at 6-th Form (High School).  She has a part time job where I used to work. I picked up something and walked over to the counter she sits at.  You can guess what happened next, I froze like a statue and pretended to look away.  I get so intimidated by women (even though she just looked up and smiled). I’m so fed up with things.  In my whole life (19 years) I’ve never had a single female friend and its ruining my life. I can’t be arsed to type any more.  Too depressed…. Anon

Response:

Anon wrote in message <361B61A1.EBD4E…@abcde.com>… >Hello, >I don’t know whether any of you remember, but I posted a few times about >4 months ago.  At home we don’t have internet access, but I’m back at >University now. >My summer was very boring.  I haven’t many friends, and the ones I do >have live quite far away.  I get so lonely, and despite being back here, >things aren’t going to get any better. >[...] >I picked up something and walked over to the counter she sits at.  You >can guess what happened next, I froze like a statue and pretended to >look away.  I get so intimidated by women (even though she just looked >up and smiled).

Smile back – is it so hard? Sounds like you’re psyching yourself out before you even begin. It’s not as if you’re going to ask her for marriage, kids, till death etc. You’re just wanting to have some fun with someone. Do you have this sort of problems when you call up your buddies? Probably not. So what is the difference between her and them? >I’m so fed up with things.  In my whole life (19 years) I’ve never had a >single female friend and its ruining my life.

Life is not about who’s on your arm. >I can’t be arsed to type any more.  Too depressed….

Another thing – attitude is key. No woman wants to be around someone that depresses them even more when they’re alone. You really should just start having fun in your life – everything clicks into place when you’re doing your own thing and happy. Chay.

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