Act Acting » Acting School » How do you deal with your SO's ex-girl/boyfriends?

How do you deal with your SO's ex-girl/boyfriends?

Question:

Have you ever approached him and asked if you could meet her and possibly become friends with her too, if he agrees with this then maybe there is no reason to be jealous.  Although if he doesn’t agree with this, then maybe he does have something he doesn’t want you to be a part of.  Marriage shouldn’t have such closed doors.  Open them up, if he wants to keep it closed then maybe your marriage needs a closer look. Wonder how he would feel if it were you with the ex boyfriend and you go tohis family’s for dinner without him, hmmm. "Karen Ronan" <ro…@hhmi.ucla.edu> wrote in message

news:9hq7iv$igu$6@siamese.noc.ucla.edu… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> He goes to *her* family’s for dinner and you aren’t invited? > That’s just rude. > He’s acting as though he’s single. This is wierd to me. > Karen > kasm…@uselessspamaccess1.net (K. Smith) writes: > > Relationship experts! Please help me again! > > My husband and I have been married only three years but already our > > marriage is cracking (major communication problems). As a result of our > > fragile relationship, my self-esteem is at an all-time low and I find > > myself becoming threatened by his friendship with an ex-girlfriend of his > > from back in high school. I don’t suspect anything more intimate going on > > because he’s open about her, but as I said, I am not feeling too confident > > about myself and my marriage these days. So maybe I am perceiving her as a > > bigger threat than usual. However, the situation still bothers me. > > Husband and girlfriend broke off before they went to college (where he met > > me) but remained friends. She was previously engaged to someone else but > > they broke off. She lives in another state but she comes home a few times > > a year to see her family. This is when she contacts my husband to have > > dinner or whatever. (get this: her AOL screenname is "Mike’s smile"–my > > husband’s name!) Today is Saturday night and he went over to her family’s > > house for dinner. I went to see a movie alone. > > So now I’m depressed. How do I handle this? How do I tell him without > > sounding too jealous or paranoid "You know, it hurts my feelings that > > you’re seeing an exgirlfriend on a Saturday night and I’m left alone." Am > > I making an issue out of nothing? It’s so hard to tell when your feelings > > get in the way. I need an objective opinion. Does anyone else go through > > this and how do you deal with it? > > Thanks much for your help. > > K.

Response:

He goes to *her* family’s for dinner and you aren’t invited? That’s just rude. He’s acting as though he’s single. This is wierd to me. Karen – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -kasm…@uselessspamaccess1.net (K. Smith) writes: > Relationship experts! Please help me again! > My husband and I have been married only three years but already our > marriage is cracking (major communication problems). As a result of our > fragile relationship, my self-esteem is at an all-time low and I find > myself becoming threatened by his friendship with an ex-girlfriend of his > from back in high school. I don’t suspect anything more intimate going on > because he’s open about her, but as I said, I am not feeling too confident > about myself and my marriage these days. So maybe I am perceiving her as a > bigger threat than usual. However, the situation still bothers me. > Husband and girlfriend broke off before they went to college (where he met > me) but remained friends. She was previously engaged to someone else but > they broke off. She lives in another state but she comes home a few times > a year to see her family. This is when she contacts my husband to have > dinner or whatever. (get this: her AOL screenname is "Mike’s smile"–my > husband’s name!) Today is Saturday night and he went over to her family’s > house for dinner. I went to see a movie alone. > So now I’m depressed. How do I handle this? How do I tell him without > sounding too jealous or paranoid "You know, it hurts my feelings that > you’re seeing an exgirlfriend on a Saturday night and I’m left alone." Am > I making an issue out of nothing? It’s so hard to tell when your feelings > get in the way. I need an objective opinion. Does anyone else go through > this and how do you deal with it? > Thanks much for your help. > K.

Response:

JWB <jwbspamkiller3…@excite.com> wrote in message

news:1nw%6.11347$l5.9748826@newsfeed1.thebiz.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> your feelings, to me, are justified. If it bothers you that he sees her, > then he shouldn’t see her. I mean, it IS an ex, after all, and (in my mind) > ex’s should remain in the past (I’m sure there are a few people who can make > friendship with an ex work, but almost every case I have witnessed it’s > caused problems). Granted, you may not have come right out and told him that > it bothers you, but I’m of the opinion that he should probably pick up on > that (as it’s obviously a hurt for you). Still, you need to tell him (and, > in all fairness, maybe you’re a great actress, and he truly thinks it > doesn’t bother you at all). > Let me ask – do you feel like you’re the most important person in his life? > Also, any kids in the picture? > — > JWB > Remove spamkiller to reply via e-mail

This has been our experience too.  It is lucky for us that most of our relationships ended with a parting of ways.  We’ve run into an ex for each of us in our relationship’s lifetime, and both times the other could be confident that there was no danger of sparks flying.

Response:

Hi Kelly, how to I deal with my SO X-es? Well it depends. There is one that I find quite nice. She has a very non threatning quality about her which helps. :) Another I could do without, she

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