HUMOR – Parentals – dialog from when we were kids
Hmmm I heard a few of those myself. sigh.
—– Chapter 1 – Is childhood Hell? 1988 by Matt Groening (author of The Simpsons) Tips for tots – when you drive your parents crazy – it’s because they are crazy. Question: Is childhood hell? Do your parents frequently say to you: Not now, I’m busy. You did that on purpose. Go wash them again–they’re still dirty. Just do it. You’re too little to know why. Go to your room. No dessert for you. Get up lazy-bones. Who do you think you are, somebody special? We’re not made of money. Open your mouth. Here comes the strained-beets choo-choo train. Where did we fail? You’re not big enough yet. Act your age. Go sit on the friendly clown’s lap. He won’t scare you. Boys don’t do that. I’ll treat you like an adult when you start acting like one. Eat your brussells sprouts. You’re going to forget. That’s what you get for not listening. You’ve got no one to blame but yourself. Don’t make me come in there. How could you do that after all we’ve done for you? Just wait till your father finds out. Wipe that smile off your face right now. Why can’t you be more like your sister/brother? Look at me when I’m talking to you. You heard me. Most kids would be happy to have what you have. No you can’t go. You’re no different than anyone else around here. Don’t interrupt me. You’ll grow up big and strong if you eat your tofu. Go ask your mother. You look so cute I could just eat you up. It’s good for you. If you cry that just means you’re feeling sorry for yourself. Beacause I say so. I don’t know what we’re going to do with you. Zip the lip. You’re going to sit on that potty till I see some results. Do it because I love you. Well, it looks like your going to summer school. You’re just no good. Go to sleep right now. Clumsy. When I was your age, I always obeyed my parents. You’ll never make it. Aww, too bad. I guess you have the meanest parents in the world. Spanking time. How can you stand to live like that? Wait in the car. Sorry isn’t good enough. You call that a kiss. Now say thank you. Question: Was my childhood hell? Answer: Sorta. Remove the *n* to email me I’m removing spam from my email’s diet.
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