Act Acting » Acting School » I know this doesn't matter to anyone here (OT)

I know this doesn't matter to anyone here (OT)

Question:

Yeah, I think he should have been fired, and *tried* as an accesory to assult.. but this is the "real" world, where justice rarely happens.. I don’t like violence, I can’t *stand* arguing.. it tears me up emotionally..  I’d stand up for someone else instantly, me, I’ll take a lot of abuse, I don’t know why. And yes, they expelled me, because no one saw him attack me first. So, I was "Guilty" on the basis of the witnesses… and Him, Nope, he got nothing, because no one saw him (or were too afraid to say they DID) And I guess the arts I learned were fairly at odds to what I then believed. I literaly "turned the other cheek" so many times you’d think I had a thousand of them…  I should have stood up long before, but the religious tenants I’d been taught were so ingrained I wouldn’t. I regret it now, if I had, my life might have been vastly different… but even though I feel rotten a lot of the time, I’m kind of glad I went through it. I wouldn’t have the sympathy for the underdogs in life I do now. And thanks for commenting.. nice to know I’ve found a place where I fit in for once…  just got asked to counsel a kid going through the same things I did (except for the getting kicked out part).. I’m not sure I’m up to something like that.. but who knows, maybe I can help him avoid what I went through. *shrugs* BlueHawK – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Sounds like the public schools in DelaWHERE.. *pathetic* There are a FEW good teachers, trying despite the rules holding them back from actually teaching, and the wastin gof the funds they have.. but the majority of the teachers here are twits. Case in point: When I was in 7th grade, I was bullied by most of the guys in shop class (I was short, fairly nerdy, etc)…  I would come in after doing masonry (where the teacher was the FIRST person in through the locked doors) and find my school books torn to schred back-pack torn updumped out, whatever was breakable broken, and since I was always the last person let in, would find the teacher laughing.. That teacher should have been fired. I somehow survived the humilitation and got to high school.. it didn’t get better. the same group of guys followed me, beating me up nearly every day, til the middle of 10th grade… then it happened… I was walking to my car, and the ringleader kicked my books out of my hands, and kicked me in the stomach..  all I remember is people pulling me off him, and the paramedics rushing in… I’d never fought back all my life till then,  even though I had a brown belt in Shorinji Kenpo…  and I felt terrible about it after.. Why? It was self defense. I was permanently expelled from the school district, and it took 4 months to get me enrolled to a private *shudder* Baptist school – only one that’s take me… They expelled you for acting in self defense? That is not fair. What about your attackers? Did they get punished? First week there, I was so on edge, and shakey…  I was in line for lunch.. out of nowhere, I was slammed against the lockers.. "Get out of my way, shrimp!" I blanksed out again.. from what I was told, I picked his 6 foot tail off the ground, whammed hima gainst the opposite wal of lockers (I’m all of 5′6) and growled "Don’t ever touch me again" I wish I had learned martial arts when I was in school. I would have killed anyone who dared attack me. I don’t like that side of me *AT ALL*.. but it shows what some (not all) public schools breed into kids.. it’s no wonder there are so many school shootings these days if it it did that to me that long ago.. BlueHawK When I was a kid, I often used to fantasize about gunning down some of my classmates with a submachine gun. If someone had given me a gun back then and shown me how to use it, I probably would have killed my tormentors. The worst thing about a bad childhood is that is tends to cause mental health problems that last for a long time.

Response:

Thanks, Invis, but I still don’t like that I did it. I don’t like losing control like that, and I hope I never do again. I was a pacifist most of my life, that was the first time I fought back ever, and it scared me. I’m more likely to stand up for a friend, or someone else attacked for no reason than myself.. me, I’ll put up with a lot still than hurt someone else.. I scared myself too much that day.

I am no pacifist. I would have no problem killing someone in self defense. I regret that I did not fight back when I was a kid. I was always the smallest and weakest boy in my class, and I did not know martial arts, so I was defenseless. I should have learned martial arts and defended myself, or gunned down the bastards with a submachine gun, as I used to fantasize about doing.

Response:

Sounds like the public schools in DelaWHERE.. *pathetic* There are a FEW good teachers, trying despite the rules holding them back from actually teaching, and the wastin gof the funds they have.. but the majority of the teachers here are twits. Case in point: When I was in 7th grade, I was bullied by most of the guys in shop class (I was short, fairly nerdy, etc)…  I would come in after doing masonry (where the teacher was the FIRST person in through the locked doors) and find my school books torn to schred back-pack torn updumped out, whatever was breakable broken, and since I was always the last person let in, would find the teacher laughing..

That teacher should have been fired. I somehow survived the humilitation and got to high school.. it didn’t get better. the same group of guys followed me, beating me up nearly every day, til the middle of 10th grade… then it happened… I was walking to my car, and the ringleader kicked my books out of my hands, and kicked me in the stomach..  all I remember is people pulling me off him, and the paramedics rushing in… I’d never fought back all my life till then,  even though I had a brown belt in Shorinji Kenpo…  and I felt terrible about it after..

Why? It was self defense. I was permanently expelled from the school district, and it took 4 months to get me enrolled to a private *shudder* Baptist school – only one that’s take me…

They expelled you for acting in self defense? That is not fair. What about your attackers? Did they get punished? First week there, I was so on edge, and shakey…  I was in line for lunch.. out of nowhere, I was slammed against the lockers.. "Get out of my way, shrimp!" I blanksed out again.. from what I was told, I picked his 6 foot tail off the ground, whammed hima gainst the opposite wal of lockers (I’m all of 5′6) and growled "Don’t ever touch me again"

I wish I had learned martial arts when I was in school. I would have killed anyone who dared attack me. I don’t like that side of me *AT ALL*.. but it shows what some (not all) public schools breed into kids.. it’s no wonder there are so many school shootings these days if it it did that to me that long ago.. BlueHawK

When I was a kid, I often used to fantasize about gunning down some of my classmates with a submachine gun. If someone had given me a gun back then and shown me how to use it, I probably would have killed my tormentors. The worst thing about a bad childhood is that is tends to cause mental health problems that last for a long time.

Response:

all I remember is people pulling me off him, and the paramedics rushing in… <snip I was permanently expelled from the school district, and it took 4 months to get me enrolled to a private *shudder* Baptist school – only one that’s take me…

Now that’s doing hard time… But seriously, I’m glad you fought back.  You did what was absolutely necessary.  The fact that you felt bad about hurting someone separates you from the sociopaths who picked on you and the contemptible teachers who aided and abetted those punks. As for me, I never fought back against anything in my whole life. R

Response:

Whoa-ah!   Pent-up rage does that when it finally gets released. I watched something similar happen to a nerdy-looking kid in my high school. Fortunately for the person who picked a fight with him, he was well enough trained in his martial art that he could stop short of doing real damage. As I recall, both he and his attacker were suspended for a few days, then let back in.  Those school administrators knew who was really responsible for the altercation, and they watched that kid like a hawk until the kid stopped coming to our school.  Don’t know what happened to him. Saw the nerdy-looking martial arts guy at a class reunion a few years back. He’d married, had a few kids, nice job as a surveyor.  Doing fine.  Stopped the martial arts while in the Air Force.  Felt he didn’t need it anymore. Rage is scary.  One has to learn how to control and direct it.  But repression, which is what most people mean by control, doesn’t do any good. Good luck! Erminia – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Sounds like the public schools in DelaWHERE.. *pathetic* There are a FEW good teachers, trying despite the rules holding them back from actually teaching, and the wastin gof the funds they have.. but the majority of the teachers here are twits. Case in point: When I was in 7th grade, I was bullied by most of the guys in shop class (I was short, fairly nerdy, etc)…  I would come in after doing masonry (where the teacher was the FIRST person in through the locked doors) and find my school books torn to schred back-pack torn updumped out, whatever was breakable broken, and since I was always the last person let in, would find the teacher laughing.. I somehow survived the humilitation and got to high school.. it didn’t get better. the same group of guys followed me, beating me up nearly every day, til the middle of 10th grade… then it happened… I was walking to my car, and the ringleader kicked my books out of my hands, and kicked me in the stomach..  all I remember is people pulling me off him, and the paramedics rushing in… I’d never fought back all my life till then,  even though I had a brown belt in Shorinji Kenpo…  and I felt terrible about it after.. I was permanently expelled from the school district, and it took 4 months to get me enrolled to a private *shudder* Baptist school – only one that’s take me… First week there, I was so on edge, and shakey…  I was in line for lunch.. out of nowhere, I was slammed against the lockers.. "Get out of my way, shrimp!" I blanksed out again.. from what I was told, I picked his 6 foot tail off the ground, whammed hima gainst the opposite wal of lockers (I’m all of 5′6) and growled "Don’t ever touch me again" I don’t like that side of me *AT ALL*.. but it shows what some (not all) public schools breed into kids.. it’s no wonder there are so many school shootings these days if it it did that to me that long ago.. BlueHawK

Response:

Thanks, Invis, but I still don’t like that I did it.

I understand.  My one physical fight left me feeling the same way. I don’t like losing control like that, and I hope I never do again. I was a pacifist most of my life, that was the first time I fought back ever, and it scared me.

I understand this, too.  I won’t even fight back verbally, most of the time. I’m more likely to stand up for a friend, or someone else attacked for no reason than myself.. me, I’ll put up with a lot still than hurt someone else.. I scared myself too much that day.

Yes.  I’ve known people who have said the same thing.  Still, I think you had every right to do what you did.  I do think it’s good that you turned your anger to the person who actually deserved it, instead of beating yourself up inside, wondering what you did to deserve such treatment.  You may have done that, too, but in the end you realized that the one who deserved the beating was the person who did those things, not you. Just a thought. Angela (in a philosophical mood, evidently) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – BlueHawK Wow…That sounds terrible.  I went to an all girls Cath. school for high school…there was teasing, but never anything that blatant or insulting. I understand of course that girls and boys are different, but what happened to you was just horrible.  I think you had every right to attack that guy. A person can only take so much. Sounds like the public schools in DelaWHERE.. *pathetic* There are a FEW good teachers, trying despite the rules holding them back from actually teaching, and the wastin gof the funds they have.. but the majority of the teachers here are twits. Case in point: When I was in 7th grade, I was bullied by most of the guys in shop class (I was short, fairly nerdy, etc)…  I would come in after doing masonry (where the teacher was the FIRST person in through the locked doors) and find my school books torn to schred back-pack torn updumped out, whatever was breakable broken, and since I was always the last person let in, would find the teacher laughing.. I somehow survived the humilitation and got to high school.. it didn’t get better. the same group of guys followed me, beating me up nearly every day, til the middle of 10th grade… then it happened… I was walking to my car, and the ringleader kicked my books out of my hands, and kicked me in the stomach..  all I remember is people pulling me off him, and the paramedics rushing in… I’d never fought back all my life till then,  even though I had a brown belt in Shorinji Kenpo…  and I felt terrible about it after.. I was permanently expelled from the school district, and it took 4 months to get me enrolled to a private *shudder* Baptist school – only one that’s take me… First week there, I was so on edge, and shakey…  I was in line for lunch.. out of nowhere, I was slammed against the lockers.. "Get out of my way, shrimp!" I blanksed out again.. from what I was told, I picked his 6 foot tail off the ground, whammed hima gainst the opposite wal of lockers (I’m all of 5′6) and growled "Don’t ever touch me again" I don’t like that side of me *AT ALL*.. but it shows what some (not all) public schools breed into kids.. it’s no wonder there are so many school shootings these days if it it did that to me that long ago.. BlueHawK But I’m doing a little happy dance about Paul Vallas stepping down as head of Chicago Public Schools…yay.  That man steals the Cath. schools’ ideas, then in the same breath says that the Cath. schools aren’t equipped to teach Chicago students.  Grrrrr…. Here’s hoping the new one’s better and a bit more understanding about why some parents choose Cath. schools.

Response:

Thanks, Invis, but I still don’t like that I did it. I don’t like losing control like that, and I hope I never do again. I was a pacifist most of my life, that was the first time I fought back ever, and it scared me. I’m more likely to stand up for a friend, or someone else attacked for no reason than myself.. me, I’ll put up with a lot still than hurt someone else.. I scared myself too much that day. BlueHawK – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Wow…That sounds terrible.  I went to an all girls Cath. school for high school…there was teasing, but never anything that blatant or insulting.  I understand of course that girls and boys are different, but what happened to you was just horrible.  I think you had every right to attack that guy.  A person can only take so much. Sounds like the public schools in DelaWHERE.. *pathetic* There are a FEW good teachers, trying despite the rules holding them back from actually teaching, and the wastin gof the funds they have.. but the majority of the teachers here are twits. Case in point: When I was in 7th grade, I was bullied by most of the guys in shop class (I was short, fairly nerdy, etc)…  I would come in after doing masonry (where the teacher was the FIRST person in through the locked doors) and find my school books torn to schred back-pack torn updumped out, whatever was breakable broken, and since I was always the last person let in, would find the teacher laughing.. I somehow survived the humilitation and got to high school.. it didn’t get better. the same group of guys followed me, beating me up nearly every day, til the middle of 10th grade… then it happened… I was walking to my car, and the ringleader kicked my books out of my hands, and kicked me in the stomach..  all I remember is people pulling me off him, and the paramedics rushing in… I’d never fought back all my life till then,  even though I had a brown belt in Shorinji Kenpo…  and I felt terrible about it after.. I was permanently expelled from the school district, and it took 4 months to get me enrolled to a private *shudder* Baptist school – only one that’s take me… First week there, I was so on edge, and shakey…  I was in line for lunch.. out of nowhere, I was slammed against the lockers.. "Get out of my way, shrimp!" I blanksed out again.. from what I was told, I picked his 6 foot tail off the ground, whammed hima gainst the opposite wal of lockers (I’m all of 5′6) and growled "Don’t ever touch me again" I don’t like that side of me *AT ALL*.. but it shows what some (not all) public schools breed into kids.. it’s no wonder there are so many school shootings these days if it it did that to me that long ago.. BlueHawK But I’m doing a little happy dance about Paul Vallas stepping down as head of Chicago Public Schools…yay.  That man steals the Cath. schools’ ideas, then in the same breath says that the Cath. schools aren’t equipped to teach Chicago students.  Grrrrr…. Here’s hoping the new one’s better and a bit more understanding about why some parents choose Cath. schools.

Response:

Wow…That sounds terrible.  I went to an all girls Cath. school for high school…there was teasing, but never anything that blatant or insulting.  I understand of course that girls and boys are different, but what happened to you was just horrible.  I think you had every right to attack that guy.  A person can only take so much. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Sounds like the public schools in DelaWHERE.. *pathetic* There are a FEW good teachers, trying despite the rules holding them back from actually teaching, and the wastin gof the funds they have.. but the majority of the teachers here are twits. Case in point: When I was in 7th grade, I was bullied by most of the guys in shop class (I was short, fairly nerdy, etc)…  I would come in after doing masonry (where the teacher was the FIRST person in through the locked doors) and find my school books torn to schred back-pack torn updumped out, whatever was breakable broken, and since I was always the last person let in, would find the teacher laughing.. I somehow survived the humilitation and got to high school.. it didn’t get better. the same group of guys followed me, beating me up nearly every day, til the middle of 10th grade… then it happened… I was walking to my car, and the ringleader kicked my books out of my hands, and kicked me in the stomach..  all I remember is people pulling me off him, and the paramedics rushing in… I’d never fought back all my life till then,  even though I had a brown belt in Shorinji Kenpo…  and I felt terrible about it after.. I was permanently expelled from the school district, and it took 4 months to get me enrolled to a private *shudder* Baptist school – only one that’s take me… First week there, I was so on edge, and shakey…  I was in line for lunch.. out of nowhere, I was slammed against the lockers.. "Get out of my way, shrimp!" I blanksed out again.. from what I was told, I picked his 6 foot tail off the ground, whammed hima gainst the opposite wal of lockers (I’m all of 5′6) and growled "Don’t ever touch me again" I don’t like that side of me *AT ALL*.. but it shows what some (not all) public schools breed into kids.. it’s no wonder there are so many school shootings these days if it it did that to me that long ago.. BlueHawK But I’m doing a little happy dance about Paul Vallas stepping down as head of Chicago Public Schools…yay.  That man steals the Cath. schools’ ideas, then in the same breath says that the Cath. schools aren’t equipped to teach Chicago students.  Grrrrr…. Here’s hoping the new one’s better and a bit more understanding about why some parents choose Cath. schools.

Response:

Sounds like the public schools in DelaWHERE.. *pathetic* There are a FEW good teachers, trying despite the rules holding them back from actually teaching, and the wastin gof the funds they have.. but the majority of the teachers here are twits. Case in point: When I was in 7th grade, I was bullied by most of the guys in shop class (I was short, fairly nerdy, etc)…  I would come in after doing masonry (where the teacher was the FIRST person in through the locked doors) and find my school books torn to schred back-pack torn updumped out, whatever was breakable broken, and since I was always the last person let in, would find the teacher laughing.. I somehow survived the humilitation and got to high school.. it didn’t get better. the same group of guys followed me, beating me up nearly every day, til the middle of 10th grade… then it happened… I was walking to my car, and the ringleader kicked my books out of my hands, and kicked me in the stomach..  all I remember is people pulling me off him, and the paramedics rushing in… I’d never fought back all my life till then,  even though I had a brown belt in Shorinji Kenpo…  and I felt terrible about it after.. I was permanently expelled from the school district, and it took 4 months to get me enrolled to a private *shudder* Baptist school – only one that’s take me… First week there, I was so on edge, and shakey…  I was in line for lunch.. out of nowhere, I was slammed against the lockers.. "Get out of my way, shrimp!" I blanksed out again.. from what I was told, I picked his 6 foot tail off the ground, whammed hima gainst the opposite wal of lockers (I’m all of 5′6) and growled "Don’t ever touch me again" I don’t like that side of me *AT ALL*.. but it shows what some (not all) public schools breed into kids.. it’s no wonder there are so many school shootings these days if it it did that to me that long ago.. BlueHawK – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – But I’m doing a little happy dance about Paul Vallas stepping down as head of Chicago Public Schools…yay.  That man steals the Cath. schools’ ideas, then in the same breath says that the Cath. schools aren’t equipped to teach Chicago students.  Grrrrr…. Here’s hoping the new one’s better and a bit more understanding about why some parents choose Cath. schools.

Response:

Ick. Being from the Chicago area, I know full well why parents choose to send their kids to Catholic schools.  _They’re a whole lot better!_ I did not attend one, but I was threatened with it often.  :P

Heh…well, at least we don’t have to have metal detectors and security guards in our school.  Sometimes I wonder, education-wise, about some things, but I know that our building is a safe environment…sometimes the only safe environment these kids have. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – — chimera:  learned a lot, a lot to learn why, yes, i _have_ practiced being this crude. van gogh’s ear’s poetry… http://home.tampabay.rr.com/vangoghsear

Response:

But I’m doing a little happy dance about Paul Vallas stepping down as head of Chicago Public Schools…yay.  That man steals the Cath. schools’ ideas, then in the same breath says that the Cath. schools aren’t equipped to teach Chicago students.  Grrrrr…. Here’s hoping the new one’s better and a bit more understanding about why some parents choose Cath. schools.

Response:

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