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Is it me or what????

Question:

Ron, there is an excellent point in your comment here.  There is NOTHING so enticing to a growing child as being told he/she is nbot old enough, or that something is only for adults.  Obviously we HAVE to use this language sometimes,  but it is way way way way better if you use the kind of language you mention. Try to deflect interest and also try to encourage you child not to be so dependant on peer pressure.  Ask them to question why they HAVE to do things their friends do.  Aski them to question why not do something different,  why not let the others do what they want and we do what we want. I accept it won;t work straight awy,  even as smuch as we like.  But I have found that over time,  it eventually has a creeping effect. Ziggy – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – In your position, I would voice my objection not on prudish adult content grounds, but merely on a quality basis.  As long as you’re paying the cable bill, nothing so completely lame is gonna come across your screens.   "Sorry son.  Trust me, there are much better ways to waste your time.  End of discussion."    

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"One of the best things we ever did in raising our kids was NOT get cable and also deemphasize TV." RIght on…Well said..Cable sucks you in and does not let go….We need a bit more of the anti-consumerism attitude in this society so obsessed with cars, big houses, and how many channels you can get..Cheers, C

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  I don’t think you are at all strange.  Those parents who laugh off their kids’ interest in South Park may not be laughing when their little dumplings start using that kind of language themselves.   Yes, our kids will be exposed to some pretty crude topics as they grow, but we don’t have to cater to that.  I know that kids want to watch and do everything that their friends do, but it won’t bruise their little psyches if we tell them NO.  It won’t be social suicide for your son not to watch everything his friends watch, even if he thinks so.  That show is on the forbidden list at my house, though my son, 12, has never asked to watch it.  One of the problems with these shows is that kids may come to see such behavior as perfectly acceptable.  Why should they listen to their parents about crude language, sex, drinking, drugs, whatever it might be, when everyone on TV does these things routinely?    Stand your ground about South Park or any other show you find distasteful.  If my son fusses about our house rules, I just tell him that if his friends raise their eyebrows at him he can save face by putting the blame on his crabby mother. scout <mcon2providedotnet wrote in article – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi all.  I’m interested in some opinions.  The other day I was at my sons hockey game.  In the locker room getting dressed some boys were talking about the television show South Park.  Apparently quite a few of the boys watch it.  These boys are 8 and 9 years old.  When I expressed my surprise the other parents laughed it off saying they hear bad language and learn adult subject matter anyway.  My son has never heard of the show.  We don’t watch much TV.  I saw it once and found it amusing, but it’s not for children.  Now my question.  Am I strange for my opinions?  I really got the impression I was in the minority in the locker room.  Am I raising my child to be a cultural freak? I’m beginning to think I belong in another decade. ~scout

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"scout" <mcon2providedotnet writes: My son has never heard of the [South Park] . . . I saw it once and found it amusing, but it’s not for children.   Am I raising my child to be a cultural freak?

I think few things are more important than fitting in.   BUT integrity is one of them.  If it doesn’t feel right, just say no.   Our cable system doesn’t carry Comedy Central at night, so I’ll have to wait for a real station to pick it up.  My buddy e-mails me audio snippets of the show, because he knows I’m a huge Simpsons fan.  But I’ve got to tell you, it sounds really unbearably stupid.   In your position, I would voice my objection not on prudish adult content grounds, but merely on a quality basis.  As long as you’re paying the cable bill, nothing so completely lame is gonna come across your screens.   "Sorry son.  Trust me, there are much better ways to waste your time.  End of discussion."     – Ron Low Levity is the dearth of gravity.  Brevity is the height of clarity.   non-commercial e-mail always welcome

Response:

Sounds like you 100% fine, scout :) Trouble with bringing up kids is that there seem to be so many other parents that treat their kids development like they would a shrub in the garden.  They believe they can just leave them be and whatever happens happens.  It’s easier for them and they can throw up their hands and blame society for anything they get ctiticised for. I have a boy just turned 6 today and some of his neighbour friends watch the Simpsons, Ninja Turtles, and other similar violent and totally inappropriate programs. They also play outside in the grove until 10pm each night on school nights.  I don;t understand it, and I don;t intend to let their  neglect affect our attention to our kids. It’s about balance and timing isn;t it.  My boy will see these programs soon,  in good time. he will encounter other stuff in good time too. But it’s my responsibility to do my best to shield him from UNNECESSARY damaging stuff as long as I can.  When it arrives,  then I’ll deal with it as best I can and also try to ensure HE can deal with it. Ziggy – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi all.  I’m interested in some opinions.  The other day I was at my sons hockey game.  In the locker room getting dressed some boys were talking about the television show South Park.  Apparently quite a few of the boys watch it.  These boys are 8 and 9 years old.  When I expressed my surprise the other parents laughed it off saying they hear bad language and learn adult subject matter anyway.  My son has never heard of the show.  We don’t watch much TV.  I saw it once and found it amusing, but it’s not for children.  Now my question.  Am I strange for my opinions?  I really got the impression I was in the minority in the locker room.  Am I raising my child to be a cultural freak? I’m beginning to think I belong in another decade. ~scout

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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi all.  I’m interested in some opinions.  The other day I was at my sons hockey game.  In the locker room getting dressed some boys were talking about the television show South Park.  Apparently quite a few of the boys watch it.  These boys are 8 and 9 years old.  When I expressed my surprise the other parents laughed it off saying they hear bad language and learn adult subject matter anyway.  My son has never heard of the show.  We don’t watch much TV.  I saw it once and found it amusing, but it’s not for children.  Now my question.  Am I strange for my opinions?  I really got the impression I was in the minority in the locker room.  Am I raising my child to be a cultural freak? I’m beginning to think I belong in another decade. ~scout

Hi Scout, I don’t think you’re strange for your opinions…personally, I like South Park, I think it’s pretty funny, but I’m 30 years old (an overgrown juvenile, I guess!).  I certainly wouldn’t have my 8 or 9 year old watching it, whether they’d hear bad language somewhere else or not.  I think that’s a cop-out on the part of those parents…there are lots of things kids will see & hear out of our range, but allowing it in your own house is endorsing it, if you ask me!  But, hey…what can I say?  I was slammed last week for telling people to relax and let their kids enjoy Teletubbies, what do I know?!  hehehe Nicole

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Hi all.  I’m interested in some opinions.  The other day I was at my sons hockey game.  In the locker room getting dressed some boys were talking about the television show South Park.  Apparently quite a few of the boys watch it.  These boys are 8 and 9 years old.  When I expressed my surprise the other parents laughed it off saying they hear bad language and learn adult subject matter anyway.  My son has never heard of the show.  We don’t watch much TV.  I saw it once and found it amusing, but it’s not for children.  Now my question.  Am I strange for my opinions?  I really got the impression I was in the minority in the locker room.  Am I raising my child to be a cultural freak? I’m beginning to think I belong in another decade. ~scout

I agree with you completely.  I’m only 27 and I don’t even let my son watch the Simpsons and other cartoons like some on Cartoon Network.  I don’t think you belong to another decade, I just think that society is getting weirder all the time.  I’d rather have my children be "cultural freaks" than to grow up too fast… -Jenn

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"scout" <mcon2providedotnet writes: My son has never heard of the [South Park] . . . I saw it once and found it amusing, but it’s not for children. Am I raising my child to be a cultural freak? I think few things are more important than fitting in.

Please, Ron, qualify this statement a little. This demand for "fitting in" in American society is what creates this stifling demand for conformity that is so destructive to both children and adults. On the one hand we have the notion that everyone is a unique, special, wonderful person (absurd and illogical on its face) and on the other there is the drive to fit into the crowd, be like everyone else and fade into the woodwork. This creates a cognitive dissonance – trying to hold two contradictory beliefs at the same time. Don’t worry about your child "fitting in." I lived in a town/city once where I was proud that my children didn’t fit in -a  town where children were abandoned to the streets and to empty houses after school because both parents needed to work to maintain the  lifestyle and home, car etc. the town deemed appropriate – a town where the mayor once boasted that the "homes" were expensive enough to keep out the blue collar community who wouldn’t fit in. I put "homes" in quotation marks because they weren’t homes. They were huge houses furnished with the best furnishings in which no one actually lived or loved. The children did wear designer clothes, and did have all the latest fads in toys and later in shoes, watches etc. *My* kids had a mom at home for them when they came home from school, and a dad who was there for them when they needed him. Oh they had the huge expensive  home too (we moved there because of the unwarranted hype about its school district – biiig mistake), but we drew the line at designer clothes and other meaningless consumer spending. Our response was that we had better things to do with our money. We had a black and white TV until both kids were teenagers and of course no cable. We bought books and took trips and went to special exhibitions and art galleries and museums. My kids are grown now and finished university, and they  still don’t fit in. They don’t run up credit cards, they don’t buy cars they can’t afford, and don’t go out drinking. They aren’t promiscuous, and don’t think the world owes them  a living. They do an honest day’s work and a little more for an honest day’s pay. Both do several hours of volunteer work in their respective communities every week. There are many things more important than "fitting in." Terri – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text –

Response:

Hiya..I would nto let my child watch Southpark…IT is a show that is humorous for about the first minute and then just degrades into children killing friends and seeing who can shoot fire out of their ass the longest..No value at all here for a child..Cheers, C On Tue, 9 Jun 1998, it was written: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi all.  I’m interested in some opinions.  The other day I was at my sons hockey game.  In the locker room getting dressed some boys were talking about the television show South Park.  Apparently quite a few of the boys watch it.  These boys are 8 and 9 years old.  When I expressed my surprise the other parents laughed it off saying they hear bad language and learn adult subject matter anyway.  My son has never heard of the show.  We don’t watch much TV.  I saw it once and found it amusing, but it’s not for children.  Now my question.  Am I strange for my opinions?  I really got the impression I was in the minority in the locker room.  Am I raising my child to be a cultural freak? I’m beginning to think I belong in another decade. ~scout

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  Now my question.  Am I strange for my opinions?  I really got the impression I was in the minority in the locker room.  Am I raising my child to be a cultural freak? I’m beginning to think I belong in another decade. ~scout

I guess there are a few of us that are strange huh?  My daughter is 8 – very naive sometimes and a little ‘nerdy’ compared to some of her 2nd grade classmates, but in my opinion, an entirely refreshing, witty, and creative child who is really fun to be around!  No Spice Girls, PG13, or mainstream TV for this girl or her siblings!  Kudos to you and I bet you’ll really enjoy spending time with your son as he grows up!

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no, you are not strange, I too think "South Park" is a cute show but definately not for kids. I turned on the t.v. while I was feeding my son and on some talk show there was a 5 yo telling the host that her favorite show was "Jerry Springer" another show that I don’t think kids should watch. Now I admit I watch it on occasion but its more like rubber-necking at an accident you don’t want to look but you feel compelled to. Anyway, after my second child was born I started to think about this whole t.v. thing and realized how much gunk there is on it, so I am trying to make an effort to pay attention to what I watch with the thought of, do I want my son to watch this? If the answer is no, I change the channel or turn it off.  Of course I do slip in a few "Jerry Springer" episodes every now and again, but hey I’m human. I just hope that when my son is older that we keep an eye on his watching habits, t.v. isn’t all bad but as with everything, I think it should be done in moderation. susan mom to Joshua (9/13/95-11/13/96) and Matthew (2/19/98) p.s. Bravo on not caving and doing what you believe is right for your child!

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Hi all.  I’m interested in some opinions.  The other day I was at my sons hockey game.  In the locker room getting dressed some boys were talking about the television show South Park.  Apparently quite a few of the boys watch it.  These boys are 8 and 9 years old.  When I expressed my surprise the other parents laughed it off saying they hear bad language and learn adult subject matter anyway.  My son has never heard of the show.  We don’t watch much TV.  I saw it once and found it amusing, but it’s not for children.  Now my question.  Am I strange for my opinions?  I really got the impression I was in the minority in the locker room.  Am I raising my child to be a cultural freak? I’m beginning to think I belong in another decade. ~scout

Yes you are strange.  You are also IMHO right.  The idea that filling a kid’s head with filth is appropriate because ‘they will hear it anyway’ is a total parental cop out.  I remember getting the same reaction from other parents when I wouldn’t let my then 11 year old daughter and 10 year old foster daughter go to ‘Pretty Woman.’ I didn’t think a cinderella story in which prostitution was the road to a happy and fulfilling future was a really great entertainment for young girls — especially when one of them came from a background where relatives were involved in this sad business.   One of the best things we ever did in raising our kids was NOT get cable and also deemphasize TV. We didn’t have the constant sewer of MTV and soft core late night films flowing through our living room and on tap at all hours.  We also took pains to laugh at the acquisitiveness represented by much of commercial TV and by fads like designer cloths.  Our kids as a result are strange — they are not obsessed with consumer items as young adults, they are not in credit card debt, they are top students in college and the older one has a free ride to grad school at a great school in a great field.  My daughter has boyfriends who are interesting and who treat her like a goddess — no schlepping after guys and acting dumb and being obsessed with make up and cloths and shallow crap — my son has an intelligent high achieving girlfriend [their biggest problem is orchestrating their graduate studies and career development]  In other words, they may be odd by today’s consumer obsessed, shallow culture — but they are people we enjoy having around.

Response:

Hi all.  I’m interested in some opinions.  The other day I was at my sons hockey game.  In the locker room getting dressed some boys were talking about the television show South Park.  Apparently quite a few of the boys watch it.  These boys are 8 and 9 years old.  When I expressed my surprise the other parents laughed it off saying they hear bad language and learn adult subject matter anyway.  My son has never heard of the show.  We don’t watch much TV.  I saw it once and found it amusing, but it’s not for children.  Now my question.  Am I strange for my opinions?  I really got the impression I was in the minority in the locker room.  Am I raising my child to be a cultural freak? I’m beginning to think I belong in another decade. ~scout

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