Act Acting » Acting School » Kleenex alert!

Kleenex alert!

Question:

Don’t feel bad about the hand towel. I had a truck driver walk in while I was reading it. I felt uneasy until I made him read it and then he had a few tears himself. Bildo

Response:

I agree.  But, I have seen perfect marriages.  And, I have seen 2 people who over a lifetime together have loved each other in a steadfast, mature manner.  It does happen.   – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I can hardly see the screen as I am typing this…This is the kind of love I want. This is what i have been missing from my life and I need so badly. This is what I want my daughters and son to wait for. To not jump into marriage. To wait for that special person….. To know that you can live with them forever! It has to be somewhere out there! I think this is the kind of fantasy that leads to a divorce.  People expect that a perfect marriage has perfect people.  That isn’t the case.  The perfect marriage works through all the crappy stuff that comes up.  The perfect partner toughs it out, deals with the discomfort that is bound to come along, remembers that love ebbs and flows along with the "happiness",  and deals with the unhappy times with the knowledge that if two people want the same things, it will come out in the end even stronger and more solid than before. Bailing out is the easy way. Toni "Maintaining a complicated life is a great way to avoid changing it"

Response:

I had to use my sleeve.   – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – my parents were like that, so i know its possible and i’m going to find it:) Augie ps   Miss Daisy kleenex wasn’t enough, i had to get a hand towel:) You have to dance like no one’s watching ~And Love like it’s never going to hurt~ ~Live All Your Life, All Your Life Long~                                                      

Response:

With my grandparents, it was love letters. They were both English teachers and loved to write. They wrote little love letters to each other nearly every day for 60 some years. Sometimes they’d work out their problems in these letters, most of the time they just told each other how much they cared. They’d hide the letters in a different spot each day for the other to find. My grandfather passed away several years ago. But he left behind literally thousands of love letters, and my grandmother now reads a different one each day.

Response:

I also think a grand love is possible.  The poem was so sweet, I wonder if it was true, dont remember reading that.  I myself have only seen a couple of good marriages.  But these stand out in my mind, and the couples have set an example to me of what to strive for.   The loving words, common (or tolerated) interests, looks to each other that only they understand.  And the children of these marriages also seem to have waited for this kind of love.  So, I truly believe in love. I agree with most everyone, JP, Augie, Bildo, Daisy:  It is out there for each of us.   I hope each of you get that love one day.  Never give up. @~~~}~~  Thanks Daisy!!!  And Elsee!! Trecca

Response:

Just curious…how are you all acting positively to meet that "love" one day?  

J.- Right now I am not focusing on meeting that grand love, but on making myself a better person so that if and when I do meet that *right* person, I will be in good shape!  I have a lot of healing still to do, and if I were in a relationship right now, I don’t think it would be so great… no time, or energy, and my silly neuroticisms from the mixed-upness of my relationship with my ex… and the "abandonment issues" from my parent’s divorce… I really want to get as much of that behind me as possible… graduate from my program i am in school for now, and get stable financially, as well as emotionally… well got kids to throw in the sack! nite Jp

Response:

this was beautiful.  How lucky that you had such sweet people in your life! – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – With my grandparents, it was love letters. They were both English teachers and loved to write. They wrote little love letters to each other nearly every day for 60 some years. Sometimes they’d work out their problems in these letters, most of the time they just told each other how much they cared. They’d hide the letters in a different spot each day for the other to find. My grandfather passed away several years ago. But he left behind literally thousands of love letters, and my grandmother now reads a different one each day.

Response:

I also think a grand love is possible.  The poem was so sweet, I wonder if it was true, dont remember reading that.  I myself have only seen a couple of good marriages.  But these stand out in my mind, and the couples have set an example to me of what to strive for.   The loving words, common (or tolerated) interests, looks to each other that only they understand.  And the children of these marriages also seem to have waited for this kind of love.  So, I truly believe in love. I agree with most everyone, JP, Augie, Bildo, Daisy:  It is out there for each of us.   I hope each of you get that love one day.  Never give up.

In a strange way, I saw another side of this many years ago… My folks knew a couple who were married for quite some time to each other, though they were younger than my parents. But, she came down with cancer ( I don’t recall the kind, I was about 10-12 at the time ), and eventually passed away. He was so grief struck that within a year he took his own life. The very thought of living on without her was something that he could not face. I would hesitate to call that a display of true love, but call it one manifestation. I see that as being profoundly different than one who does that, following their spouse divorcing them. The cause of the loss carries great weight, too. @~~~}~~  Thanks Daisy!!!  And Elsee!! Trecca

Andre — " The noblest achievement of the imagination is to make time run some other way, and terminate in beauty and forgivness "                                          David Gelernter, " 1939 "

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – |I also think a grand love is possible.  The poem was so sweet, I wonder |if it was true, dont remember reading that.  I myself have only seen a |couple of good marriages.  But these stand out in my mind, and the |couples have set an example to me of what to strive for.   | |The loving words, common (or tolerated) interests, looks to each other |that only they understand.  And the children of these marriages also |seem to have waited for this kind of love.  So, I truly believe in love. |I agree with most everyone, JP, Augie, Bildo, Daisy:  It is out there |for each of us.   | |I hope each of you get that love one day.  Never give up. | ~~~}~~  Thanks Daisy!!!  And Elsee!! | |Trecca Just curious…how are you all acting positively to meet that "love" one day?  

I would say that all the effort that I’ve put into discovering the " me " that was not very evident to many ( I am told by friends ) during the marriage, and making that person all the better in every way that I can manage to. Add to that the emotional growth that has essentially been " forced " upon me in that process, and the result, while always being a " work in progress " until the end of my life, will be, and is a positive and worthwhile work. Thus, the woman who is worthy of this, will complement my life, as I will hers. On the tactical side, well, I do also meet new people from time to time. Time will tell what may come of such encounters, both with friends old and new. Whatever else, I believe that being a friend is a part of discovering a worthy lady. But, that is not a new belief to me, I’ve believed this for many years now. And, the beat goes on… J. Ime  (Reverse domain *&* suffix letters to respond by e-mail)

Andre — " The noblest achievement of the imagination is to make time run some other way, and terminate in beauty and forgivness "                                          David Gelernter, " 1939 "

Response:

Andre.. your story of the couple where he took his life after his wife died reminded me of a family story… So it here it is… My great-great grandfather and grandmother moved to Arkansas and started the War Eagle Mill there.  They lived to be 90.  They had been childhood sweethearts, and married at 16.  He left with a few other men to check out the territory, and came back for her.  They lived in tents for a year or two til they got things going and got a house built…  raised 8 children and said to have adopted another 8…  Catherine passed away at 90 years… (his name is escaping me at the moment, but it’s something like Hezekiah.. will post it later)… He told them to dig the grave wide and leave it open.  Then, he shut himself in his room with his Bible.  He refused food and drink and three days later they found him dead in his room… they say he died of a broken heart, and that life just wasn’t worth living without his precious Catherine by his side… Jp

Response:

Trent, Forgive me, but I had to laugh out loud when I read the first paragraph of your post! You seem to make a lot of assumptions about "church people." Tony and I are both former Catholics and are now Unitarian Universalists. BTW, Tony, being a school teacher, has always had more time with his kids than his ex, and he has custody of them now. He was a stay-at-home dad for a year when his children were younger and his then-wife was bringing in enough money so that he could stay home. At the same time, some of the most successful, well-adjusted kids I know are my nieces, whose highly educated mother did, in fact, quit work when the oldest was born and stayed out of the workforce for nearly 20 years until the youngest was nearly in high school. I’m not a parent myself, but I’ll add my 2 cents anyway. I think the most important thing a couple can do is to communicate and discuss openly before marriage about how they think it would be best to raise the children. If they are both comfortable with their plans, are both reasonable and mature adults, and put a high priority not only on the children but on their own relationship, I think the marriage has a good chance of surviving. I know too many fine, quality families in which both parents work to ever agree with your viewpoint. Regards, Martha – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Just curious, Martha… Since you both met in church, how do you feel about the idea that the man should be the head of the household. It’s interesting…all the stories/examples we’ve been given about a long-lasting marriage are examples from many generations past. I wonder how many of our current generation marriages would last longer if the wife stayed at home, raised the kids again, cooked supper, listened to the husband’s problems when he got home, got involved in the PTA, etc…and we eliminated day care. All the old stories are fun to listen to…but they were of a time when we had different standards in this country. IMHO…Toni’s post was again right-on. Trent — Most studs are 16 inches! …on center. I tend to agree with John, here, especially because of my current SO. No, he’d never send me a dozen red roses on Valentine’s Day in perpetuity (he’s a school teacher and much too pragmatic about money matters to overspend on something like flowers on the day they’re most expensive), but he is very, very< close to everything I’ve always dreamed of in a mate. He’s open and communicative, he’s solicitous and sentimental, he actually helps plan< vacations and knows how to set up (and live within) a budget, he spoils me rotten and is thankful that I like to spoil him rotten, too. He cries during sad movies and loves it when I do the same. He senses if there’s something wrong and doesn’t let me get away with my initial tendencies to brush things aside at first. I could go on and on, but my point is that before last year, I never, ever actually believed I could be in such a wonderful relationship, but I sure never gave up hope that perhaps someday I would. Well… actually, now that I think of it, a few months before Tony and I met, I read a book ("Conversations with God") that really helped me believe that this type of relationship was not only possible for me but inevitable, if only I believed it would happen. Perhaps my change of mindset helped prepare me to be more accepting of this relationship when we met. Sort of a "power of positive thinking" type of thing. (And yes, we’re the ones who met in church.) I realize that we’re still in a honeymoon phase (we just met in September), and that there will be hurdles along the road. But I also think that we are already laying the groundwork to help us get through those times, as Toni says, even stronger and more solid than before. I think the first step is believing that this type of relationship can exist for you. When it happens, then you do have to be prepared for all the crappy stuff that will inevitably come up — but that doesn’t mean you have to settle for less of a relationship than you deserve. –Martha Toni, Toni….while you are pragmatically correct, do we not all need a target to aim for, a dream to pursue, a goal to reach out to?  I do, anyway.  My life has been full of coping with the discomforts as you call them, dealing with the crises, working around the imperfections, etc….let me be giddy with happiness sometimes, let me hope along with the others in the group that it could be the way it is supposed to be: joy unspeakable, pressed down, shaken together and running over….lighten up old girl, you dream too, don’t you…? JPH I think this is the kind of fantasy that leads to a divorce. People expect that a perfect marriage has perfect people.  That isn’t the case.  The perfect marriage works through all the crappy stuff that comes up.  The perfect partner toughs it out, deals with the discomfort that is bound to come along, remembers that love ebbs and flows along with the "happiness",  and deals with the unhappy times with the knowledge that if two people want the same things, it will come out in the end even stronger and more solid than before. Bailing out is the easy way. Toni "Maintaining a complicated life is a great way to avoid changing it"

Response:

my parents were like that, so i know its possible and i’m going to find it:) Augie ps   Miss Daisy kleenex wasn’t enough, i had to get a hand towel:) You have to dance like no one’s watching ~And Love like it’s never going to hurt~ ~Live All Your Life, All Your Life Long~                                                                

Response:

Elsee, What a beautiful story, and your grandfather had alot more than most of us have…the love of his life for such a long time..a wonderful, touching story.  Thanks for sharing. Daisy

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -My grandparents had a love like this.  They were together for 70 years (2 years courtship, 68 years married).  They still held hands and winked at each other across the room.  My grandfather was known for just blurting out, "You know, I really *love* that woman!"  Even when my grandmother was sick and bedridden he would go to her and kiss her and tell her how much he loved her. My grandmother died first.  At her funeral, my grandfather sat in a chair at the graveside, and I stood behind him with my hands on his shoulders.  As they lowered her coffin into the ground, he cried out, "Goodbye, goodbye!"  My heart broke into a thousand pieces.  I still cry when I think of the memory and how sad it was.  My grandfather wasn’t educated, he was never lucky in business, they weren’t rich, and some men might say he was a failure in life.  Yet I believe he was the luckiest man in the world, he had true love for 70 years. True story. -Elsee I can hardly see the screen as I am typing this…This is the kind of love I want. This is what i have been missing from my life and I need so badly. This is what I want my daughters and son to wait for. To not jump into marriage. To wait for that special person….. To know that you can live with them forever! It has to be somewhere out there!

Response:

It’s not a fantasy. My parents were like that. My dad died last april and my mom has found a few notes he left behind for her. It is a problem though, when you grow up seeing a perfect match and then not finding your’s. But, then again, who said I’ve quit looking.

Response:

Thanks for the warning before hand Daisy but it didn’t help!!  I am still crying my eyes out!!  Such a beautiful poem! Pooh – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – OK before I post this poem…I DID NOT WRITE IT…OK Trent?  It is beautiful, was sent to me by a special friend and I thought I would share it with all of you. Valentines Red roses were her favorites, her name was also Rose. And every year her husband sent them, tied with pretty bows. The year he died, the roses were delivered to her door. The card said, "Be my Valentine," like all the years before. Each year he sent her roses, and the note would always say, "I love you even more this year, than last year on this day." "My love for you will always grow, with every passing year." She knew this was the last time that the roses would appear. She thought, he ordered roses in advance before this day. Her loving husband did not know, that he would pass away. He always liked to do things early, way before the time. Then, if he got too busy, everything would work out fine. She trimmed the stems, and placed them in a very special vase. Then, sat the vase beside the portrait of his smiling face. She would sit for hours, in her husband’s favorite chair. While staring at his picture, and the roses sitting there. A year went by, and it was hard to live without her mate. With loneliness and solitude, that had become her fate. Then, the very hour, as on Valentines before, The doorbell rang, and there were roses, sitting by her door. She brought the roses in, and then just looked at them in shock. Then, went to get the telephone, to call the florist shop. The owner answered, and she asked him, if he would explain, Why would someone do this to her, causing her such pain? "I know your husband passed away, more than a year ago," The owner said, "I knew you’d call, and you would want to know." "The flowers you received today, were paid for in advance." "Your husband always planned ahead, he left nothing to chance." "There is a standing order, that I have on file down here, And he has paid, well in advance, you’ll get them every year. There also is another thing, that I think you should know, He wrote a special little card…he did this years ago." "Then, should ever, I find out that he’s no longer here, That’s the card…that should be sent, to you the following year." She thanked him and hung up the phone, her tears now flowing hard. Her fingers shaking, as she slowly reached to get the card. Inside the card, she saw that he had written her a note. Then, as she stared in total silence, this is what he wrote… "Hello my love, I know it’s been a year since I’ve been gone, I hope it hasn’t been too hard for you to overcome." "I know it must be lonely, and the pain is very real. For if it was the other way, I know how I would feel. The love we shared made everything so beautiful in life. I loved you more than words can say, you were the perfect wife." "You were my friend and lover, you fulfilled my every need. I know it’s only been a year, but please try not to grieve. I want you to be happy, even when you shed your tears. That is why the roses will be sent to you for years." "When you get these roses, think of all the happiness, That we had together, and how both of us were blessed. I have always loved you and I know I always will. But, my love, you must go on, you have some living still." "Please…try to find happiness, while living out your days. I know it is not easy, but I hope you find some ways. The roses will come every year, and they will only stop, When your door’s not answered, when the florist stops to knock." "He will come five times that day, in case you have gone out. But after his last visit, he will know without a doubt, To take the roses to the place, where I’ve instructed him, And place the roses where we are, together once again."

Response:

Hi Pooh. Miss you. How’s the job going? Bildo

Response:

I tend to agree with John, here, especially because of my current SO. No, he’d never send me a dozen red roses on Valentine’s Day in perpetuity (he’s a school teacher and much too pragmatic about money matters to overspend on something like flowers on the day they’re most expensive), but he is very, very< close to everything I’ve always dreamed of in a mate. He’s open and communicative, he’s solicitous and sentimental, he actually helps plan< vacations and knows how to set up (and live within) a budget, he spoils me rotten and is thankful that I like to spoil him rotten, too. He cries during sad movies and loves it when I do the same. He senses if there’s something wrong and doesn’t let me get away with my initial tendencies to brush things aside at first. I could go on and on, but my point is that before last year, I never, ever actually believed I could be in such a wonderful relationship, but I sure never gave up hope that perhaps someday I would. Well… actually, now that I think of it, a few months before Tony and I met, I read a book ("Conversations with God") that really helped me believe that this type of relationship was not only possible for me but inevitable, if only I believed it would happen. Perhaps my change of mindset helped prepare me to be more accepting of this relationship when we met. Sort of a "power of positive thinking" type of thing. (And yes, we’re the ones who met in church.) I realize that we’re still in a honeymoon phase (we just met in September), and that there will be hurdles along the road. But I also think that we are already laying the groundwork to help us get through those times, as Toni says, even stronger and more solid than before. I think the first step is believing that this type of relationship can exist for you. When it happens, then you do have to be prepared for all the crappy stuff that will inevitably come up — but that doesn’t mean you have to settle for less of a relationship than you deserve. –Martha – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Toni, Toni….while you are pragmatically correct, do we not all need a target to aim for, a dream to pursue, a goal to reach out to?  I do, anyway.  My life has been full of coping with the discomforts as you call them, dealing with the crises, working around the imperfections, etc….let me be giddy with happiness sometimes, let me hope along with the others in the group that it could be the way it is supposed to be: joy unspeakable, pressed down, shaken together and running over….lighten up old girl, you dream too, don’t you…? JPH I think this is the kind of fantasy that leads to a divorce.  People expect that a perfect marriage has perfect people.  That isn’t the case.  The perfect marriage works through all the crappy stuff that comes up.  The perfect partner toughs it out, deals with the discomfort that is bound to come along, remembers that love ebbs and flows along with the "happiness",  and deals with the unhappy times with the knowledge that if two people want the same things, it will come out in the end even stronger and more solid than before. Bailing out is the easy way. Toni "Maintaining a complicated life is a great way to avoid changing it"

Response:

My grandparents had a love like this.  They were together for 70 years (2 years courtship, 68 years married).  They still held hands and winked at each other across the room.  My grandfather was known for just blurting out, "You know, I really *love* that woman!"  Even when my grandmother was sick and bedridden he would go to her and kiss her and tell her how much he loved her. My grandmother died first.  At her funeral, my grandfather sat in a chair at the graveside, and I stood behind him with my hands on his shoulders.  As they lowered her coffin into the ground, he cried out, "Goodbye, goodbye!"  My heart broke into a thousand pieces.  I still cry when I think of the memory and how sad it was.  My grandfather wasn’t educated, he was never lucky in business, they weren’t rich, and some men might say he was a failure in life.  Yet I believe he was the luckiest man in the world, he had true love for 70 years. True story. -Elsee I can hardly see the screen as I am typing this…This is the kind of love I want. This is what i have been missing from my life and I need so badly. This is what I want my daughters and son to wait for. To not jump into marriage. To wait for that special person….. To know that you can live with them forever! It has to be somewhere out there!

Response:

I can hardly see the screen as I am typing this…This is the kind of love I want. This is what i have been missing from my life and I need so badly. This is what I want my daughters and son to wait for. To not jump into marriage. To wait for that special person….. To know that you can live with them forever! It has to be somewhere out there!

I think this is the kind of fantasy that leads to a divorce.  People expect that a perfect marriage has perfect people.  That isn’t the case.  The perfect marriage works through all the crappy stuff that comes up.  The perfect partner toughs it out, deals with the discomfort that is bound to come along, remembers that love ebbs and flows along with the "happiness",  and deals with the unhappy times with the knowledge that if two people want the same things, it will come out in the end even stronger and more solid than before.  Bailing out is the easy way. Toni "Maintaining a complicated life is a great way to avoid changing it"

Response:

I can hardly see the screen as I am typing this…This is the kind of love I want. This is what i have been missing from my life and I need so badly. This is what I want my daughters and son to wait for. To not jump into marriage. To wait for that special person….. To know that you can live with them forever! It has to be somewhere out there!

Me too… Jp

Response:

I don’t think it’s a fantasy to want the kind of love expressed in the poem.   I dealt with all kinds of crappy stuff… and I am sure I did some crappy stuff to the ex, too… but the fact of the matter is, I was not special to him like the woman in the poem was to her husband.  I want the kind of love like that, not that he has to send a dozen roses every year, but it’s the planning and thoughtfulness that he put into the roses… yes, I believe that such deep love does exist.  No one said anything about it being perfection.  Indeed, anyone who has been married for many years has been through hard times.  Makes the roses that much sweeter. Jp

Response:

I copied that poem and gave it to my mom yesterday……then as she was leaving she says "oh by the way, guess what your dad gave me for Valentines Day?  A dozen red roses"  and I thought, gee, would you like to give me back that poem now?  It didn’t upset her though……thank God it’s the last thing I would of wanted. Daisy If women can have PMS, then men can have ESPN. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Toni, Toni….while you are pragmatically correct, do we not all need a target to aim for, a dream to pursue, a goal to reach out to?  I do, anyway.  My life has been full of coping with the discomforts as you call them, dealing with the crises, working around the imperfections, etc….let me be giddy with happiness sometimes, let me hope along with the others in the group that it could be the way it is supposed to be: joy unspeakable, pressed down, shaken together and running over….lighten up old girl, you dream too, don’t you…? JPH I think this is the kind of fantasy that leads to a divorce.  People expect that a perfect marriage has perfect people.  That isn’t the case.  The perfect marriage works through all the crappy stuff that comes up.  The perfect partner toughs it out, deals with the discomfort that is bound to come along, remembers that love ebbs and flows along with the "happiness",  and deals with the unhappy times with the knowledge that if two people want the same things, it will come out in the end even stronger and more solid than before. Bailing out is the easy way. Toni "Maintaining a complicated life is a great way to avoid changing it"

Response:

OK before I post this poem…I DID NOT WRITE IT…OK Trent?  It is beautiful, was sent to me by a special friend and I thought I would share it with all of you. Valentines Red roses were her favorites, her name was also Rose. And every year her husband sent them, tied with pretty bows. The year he died, the roses were delivered to her door. The card said, "Be my Valentine," like all the years before. Each year he sent her roses, and the note would always say, "I love you even more this year, than last year on this day." "My love for you will always grow, with every passing year." She knew this was the last time that the roses would appear. She thought, he ordered roses in advance before this day. Her loving husband did not know, that he would pass away. He always liked to do things early, way before the time. Then, if he got too busy, everything would work out fine. She trimmed the stems, and placed them in a very special vase. Then, sat the vase beside the portrait of his smiling face. She would sit for hours, in her husband’s favorite chair. While staring at his picture, and the roses sitting there. A year went by, and it was hard to live without her mate. With loneliness and solitude, that had become her fate. Then, the very hour, as on Valentines before, The doorbell rang, and there were roses, sitting by her door. She brought the roses in, and then just looked at them in shock. Then, went to get the telephone, to call the florist shop. The owner answered, and she asked him, if he would explain, Why would someone do this to her, causing her such pain? "I know your husband passed away, more than a year ago," The owner said, "I knew you’d call, and you would want to know." "The flowers you received today, were paid for in advance." "Your husband always planned ahead, he left nothing to chance." "There is a standing order, that I have on file down here, And he has paid, well in advance, you’ll get them every year. There also is another thing, that I think you should know, He wrote a special little card…he did this years ago." "Then, should ever, I find out that he’s no longer here, That’s the card…that should be sent, to you the following year." She thanked him and hung up the phone, her tears now flowing hard. Her fingers shaking, as she slowly reached to get the card. Inside the card, she saw that he had written her a note. Then, as she stared in total silence, this is what he wrote… "Hello my love, I know it’s been a year since I’ve been gone, I hope it hasn’t been too hard for you to overcome." "I know it must be lonely, and the pain is very real. For if it was the other way, I know how I would feel. The love we shared made everything so beautiful in life. I loved you more than words can say, you were the perfect wife." "You were my friend and lover, you fulfilled my every need. I know it’s only been a year, but please try not to grieve. I want you to be happy, even when you shed your tears. That is why the roses will be sent to you for years." "When you get these roses, think of all the happiness, That we had together, and how both of us were blessed. I have always loved you and I know I always will. But, my love, you must go on, you have some living still." "Please…try to find happiness, while living out your days. I know it is not easy, but I hope you find some ways. The roses will come every year, and they will only stop, When your door’s not answered, when the florist stops to knock." "He will come five times that day, in case you have gone out. But after his last visit, he will know without a doubt, To take the roses to the place, where I’ve instructed him, And place the roses where we are, together once again."

Response:

I can hardly see the screen as I am typing this…This is the kind of love I want. This is what i have been missing from my life and I need so badly. This is what I want my daughters and son to wait for. To not jump into marriage. To wait for that special person….. To know that you can live with them forever! It has to be somewhere out there!

Response:

Toni, Toni….while you are pragmatically correct, do we not all need a target to aim for, a dream to pursue, a goal to reach out to?  I do, anyway.  My life has been full of coping with the discomforts as you call them, dealing with the crises, working around the imperfections, etc….let me be giddy with happiness sometimes, let me hope along with the others in the group that it could be the way it is supposed to be: joy unspeakable, pressed down, shaken together and running over….lighten up old girl, you dream too, don’t you…? JPH – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I think this is the kind of fantasy that leads to a divorce.  People expect that a perfect marriage has perfect people.  That isn’t the case.  The perfect marriage works through all the crappy stuff that comes up.  The perfect partner toughs it out, deals with the discomfort that is bound to come along, remembers that love ebbs and flows along with the "happiness",  and deals with the unhappy times with the knowledge that if two people want the same things, it will come out in the end even stronger and more solid than before.  Bailing out is the easy way. Toni "Maintaining a complicated life is a great way to avoid changing it"

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