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Lifes Path 5. (Long)

Question:

This story sounds very interesting – I imagine everybody has their particular favorite in the individual items presented in your outline… For me, I’m especially interested in hearing the part about the rake. Is that where you get your pike symbolism from which we see emerging in part 6?  If you think about it, a rake is a lot like a pike, unless you use it more like a giant scratcher than as a prod, which would make it more like a flail or a trident or something. Anyway, I’ll bet a lot of people want to hear about the rake, whether they will admit it or not. — Posted via Talkway – http://www.talkway.com Exchange ideas on practically anything ™.

Response:

Hello HairySTruman. The rake incident is scheduled for tomorrow night. I did the bit about the toy soldiers tonight as a bit of a break. More for those reading then myself. It’s all kind of heavy stuff. My own monster emerged as time went on, and he proved to be the worst of the bunch. My father’s alcoholism was insignificant compared to what I unleashed in myself. Or rather, what I allowed myself to be swallowed up by. I hadn’t thought about the symbolism involved between the pike and the rake. But you may have hit on something. Should I mention that the "bad guys" in my little army didn’t carry lances, they carried tridents? There were two groups of bad guys, the traditional mongols, who carried lances, and the servants of the Dark Lords. Their cavalry carried tridents, and they did somewhat look like the rake from earlier years. In fact, there were no tridents available at the hobby shop, I had to make my own. I will note that at the time it seemed essential that the worse of the Dark Lords servants carry these weapons. It was important to me. This may have been one of the first tangible expressions of my feelings about myself. But more later.. Tomorrow night. Of course this will be interspersed with my usual feeble attempts at humor and philosophy. (Concerning which you have all been very patient) ******** Ravenwing ********

Response:

On 24 Apr 1999 01:07:59 GMT rvnw…@aol.com (RvnWing) wrote: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hello HairySTruman. > The rake incident is scheduled > for tomorrow night. I did the bit about > the toy soldiers tonight as a bit of a break. More for those > reading then myself. It’s all kind of heavy stuff. My own > monster emerged as time went on, and he proved > to be the worst of the bunch. My father’s > alcoholism was insignificant compared to what I > unleashed in myself. Or rather, what I allowed > myself to be swallowed up by. > I hadn’t thought about the symbolism involved > between the pike and the rake. But you may > have hit on something. Should I mention that > the "bad guys" in my little army didn’t carry > lances, they carried tridents? There were > two groups of bad guys, the traditional mongols, > who carried lances, and the servants of the Dark > Lords. Their cavalry carried tridents, and they did > somewhat look like the rake from earlier years. > In fact, there were no tridents available at the > hobby shop, I had to make my own. I will note that > at the time it seemed essential that the worse of the > Dark Lords servants carry these weapons. > It was important to me. This may have been one > of the first tangible expressions of my feelings > about myself. But more later.. > Tomorrow night. > Of course this will be interspersed with my usual > feeble attempts at humor and philosophy. > (Concerning which you have all been very > patient) > ******** > Ravenwing > ********

Ravenwing – Thank you for the alert – I will certainly stay tuned for the next installment – I have enjoyed your story so far – I admire a story that functions on many levels – that was an odd coincidence about the tridents – I now need to watch for an additional layer, one regarding psychological allusions to your already profound mix – I’m sure a lot of other people are following your work – good luck with the rest of your story! — Posted via Talkway – http://www.talkway.com Exchange ideas on practically anything ™.

Response:

Missingu wrote: >YOU LOVE: >Standing on the pedistal like a White Knight wraped in a robe hidding your >weakness all the while pointing out the weaknesses of others. >YOU LOVE: >Talking to other as lonly and miserable as yourself and acting superior >behind >your keyboard which hides your bitterness. >YOU LOVE: >BEING MISERABLE, and seeking simpathy of other…  speaking what they want to >here in  FALSE, DECEITFUL and MUNIPLATIVE prose to make them your friend not >for their sake but for your own. >YOU LOVE: >NO ONE!!!!!!!

Well…. I’d have to admit that that hurt. I guess it’s because it was unexpected. I don’t believe I  know who you are, or have ever done anything to annoy you. But if I have said anything offensive, or disturbing  in my posts. I regret it… This is a public forum and you have the right to express yourself. For the record, I don’t consider myself a White Knight. I have a robe, but it’s a ratty old bathrobe whose hem is coming undone. I’m just me. The story I have been relating for a few days now, is rapidly approaching the point in which my own actions and responses come to light. I will be relating my struggle with anger as a youth, which led to my attacking my sister with a rake. I will relate in time, events that led to a nervous breakdown. I will relate my tenure in child protective services also. As an adult, I will discuss openly which of my character flaws led to the disintegration of my various relationships. All of which I take full responsibility for. Also my divorce, and my cowardice in dealing with my family and friends. I will also talk about my time with a psychologist and friend, who helped me come to grips with the madness in my own heart. My father does find a measure of redemption in the story, as does my brother. Those are good things, considering where they came from. Both really had the odds stacked against them. By the way.. And I’m not looking for sympathy. Self pity is odious to me. And I’m not miserable. I am content. I have need of nothing. I don’t even need an audience, I would write anyways. But I have truly appreciated the reponses and encouragement I’ve received. I consider some of the people in this group to be friends. If I am a fraud ,( And I’m not sure what that would mean) Then people will see through any attempts at deception or manipulation in time. Of course, I can’t think of anything that I could possibly gain from anything done in the NG, accept maybe to polish my writing style and speak to some really neat people. There are some really neat people here. They are worth getting to know. Saying that I’m miserable, based on what I’ve written thus far,  is like reading half a book and then throwing it away. You don’t really know what is coming until it’s all been read. I post on the loneliness NG…not because I have it all together, but because loneliness is something I still struggle with at times. Loneliness is not an evil thing. Nor is it a disease like some people treat it. It is normal to be lonelyat times and desire company, even if it is over an extended time. Of course, loneliness over an extended time can lead to depression. Depression isn’t particularly productive over the long term. My hope, is that whatever it is you needed to express and get off your chest, is successfully concluded now. Perhaps when you are less angry you will want to talk some more. We are still here to listen if you wish. ****** Ravenwing ******

Response:

YOU LOVE: Attacking others without provication for the chance to feel better. I hope feel real good… LOVE LIFE and all that……. YOU LOVE: The feel of a stone as it leaves your hand heading towards someone else.. knowing and anticapeing the hurt know it will be greater than yours. YOU LOVE: Standing on the pedistal like a White Knight wraped in a robe hidding your weakness all the while pointing out the weaknesses of others. YOU LOVE: Talking to other as lonly and miserable as yourself and acting superior behind your keyboard which hides your bitterness. YOU LOVE: BEING MISERABLE, and seeking simpathy of other…  speaking what they want to here in  FALSE, DECEITFUL and MUNIPLATIVE prose to make them your friend not for their sake but for your own. YOU LOVE: NO ONE!!!!!!! In article <19990423015130.17087.00000…@ng98.aol.com>,   rvnw…@aol.com (RvnWing) wrote: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> 04/22/99 > Lifes Path 5. The love of Life. > ************************* > I am in love with life. > I am in love with the way the sun bakes the freckles > onto my face. > I am in love with the icy feeling of my feet in the > ocean. > I love the way I feel when a woman touches my hair. > I love the small moments the most: > When someone smiles at me. > When I share a secret joke with a friend. > I love it when my friends send me e-mail: > (A little part of themselves behind a letter icon.) > I love it when people in the newgroups send me > encouragement, especially when they are normally shy. > I love to tell you my stories. > What pleases me the most, is not that I write them, but rather > that they have some meaning to you. > I try to imagine your delight when you read them. > I envision your laughter at the small jokes. > I think about your seeing your own family members > in the simple words. > I want them to resonate. In your heart, so that they become > your stories. My prayer is that I

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