Act Acting » Acting School » No more meds

No more meds

Question:

Fair enough. I just worry because that seems the way out for most people. I have seen too many people screwed up for it too. Not just with my job but in my so-called social life. Its no good. I admit I like to have a few drinks, but I don’t get drunk, I hate that feeling. I like to drink because I like the taste of certain alcohol, but I don’t make it a regular thing. I haven’t had a drink for at least a month and then when I did it was 2 glasses and that’s all. I only do it if/when I am socialising. Anyway, I am rambling. Maybe I am just tired, maybe its because I am lonely, either way I better stop. Demon. "Placid Fury" <so…@nope.net> wrote in message

news:uck5bm3rh82jd8@corp.supernews.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Aye, that’s something I do Demon. I will go to my cold, cold grave > without ever having taken a single drink, a single drag, snorted a line or > shot anything, even once. If that means I die because of that conviction, so > be it. I will not ever have any such substances in any household I am the > head of. I do not like to be around anyone that’s even had a drink, drunk or > not. The very idea revolts me and grates on my every sensibility. I really > hate it when people I like or respect drink… bothers me a lot. But I can > not make their decisions for them and have no right to say I’m right. It’s > not even a religious objection; it is a logical, realistic objection. It’s > not about the potential of feeling good for a while, but about the potential > for feeling even worse in the long run… and there’s no reason to make > things worse than they are, ever. > And yes, I like to suffer. I deprive myself of things others indulge in, > and somehow feel better for it. I like to do more, often more than anyone > else could given the situation, on as little as possible. Makes the victory > even sweeter. Messed up system I know, but it’s always worked for me, and > provides immense satisfaction. > Well, I’ve got a migraine, so I’m going to go not take any painkillers > and have some sex. > Later. > Placid Fury > Sanguine <sang…@wentwest.com> wrote in message > news:aacs12$9sdl9$1@ID-138549.news.dfncis.de… > > He’d never…will never. That’s one of the greatest securities the kids > > have with him. When we did our "we’re almost gonna be a family" talk, Ron > > asked the kids what they expected of him and he told them what they could > > expect. #1 was that there would never be any type of alcohol in our home > > and that he’d never ever take a drink. He’s one of those type of people > who > > say never ever and truly never ever. I however am planning on going away > > for a couple of nights next week and stay with my sis. Her husband > travels > > during the week so the house is empty. I’m planning on laughing till I > cry, > > playing 100 games of Spite’n Malice, poking her incredibly huge boobs > (she’s > > always let me, ever since we were kids, if I begged enough. Don’t be > > judging me. If you saw em, you’d be wantin’ to touch em too!) and > drinking > > myself up to a nice level buzz that lasts all evening. I miss my sis. I > > found out, last summer, that she truly does like me, admires me and thinks > > I’m very smart. I think of her and get teary eyed. God, I really need to > > sleep. But tomorrow’s Saturday and I can sleep in without feeling > > guilty…..I think. Ron, am I supposed to be doing something tomorrow? > > Love, > > Ang > > _Demon_Eyes_ <a…@nowhere.com> wrote in message > > news:59my8.3855$2l.316955@ozemail.com.au… > > > I hope he doesn’t take the "smoke something" or "pop something" > > suggestions. > > > Such a person shouldn’t waste their life on that shit. > > > Demon. > > > "Sanguine" <sang…@wentwest.com> wrote in message > > > news:aacqld$9thku$1@ID-138549.news.dfncis.de… > > > > Merci mon amore. > > > > *However* I wouldn’t get off my meds if I thought they were still > vital. > > > > Sleep is vital! You need it. You’re sick, miserable, self loathing, > > and > > > > not too much fun too hang out with, when you don’t get the sleep you > > need. > > > > So I still say, "Whatever it takes!" If that means smokin’ a joint or > > > > slammin’ down a shot or two then do it. You can’t thrive…..WE can’t > > > > thrive with you on the brink all the time. I will say that you’ve > done > > an > > > > incredible job handling everything considering your physical and > mental > > > > stress. It’s just like you to prove your strength in such extreme > ways. > > > > > > > Drink something. Pop something or smoke something. I worry. > > > > I love you and I know you will never take any of my suggestions. > > > > moh > > > > Placid Fury <so…@nope.net> wrote in message > > > > news:ucjhgallhq1vab@corp.supernews.com… > > > > > Sheesh… this after you rag on me for not wanting to take any > > > > > medication? Read that in a playful voice, my love… I just find it > > > > ironic. > > > > > > > > > > So everyone else in the group knows what the hell I’m talking > > about, > > > I > > > > > don’t like to take medication for sleeping at all, I don’t like to > > take > > > > > anything to help me through the day… I don’t even like to take > > > > painkillers > > > > > for migraines (I just suffer through them… bothers Ang to no end). > > Ang > > > > was > > > > > once the pharmacy’s foremost advocate… > > > > > I’m with you on the decision, MOH, whatever it may be and > whatever > > > > > happens because of it… > > > > > Love ya, > > > > > MOH > > > > > Sanguine <sang…@wentwest.com> wrote in message > > > > > news:aabmjc$96hvc$1@ID-138549.news.dfncis.de… > > > > > > I’m seriously considering stopping all of my meds. I don’t like > > being > > > > > > dependant on them, first and foremost. When I was first diagnosed > > > with > > > > > BPD > > > > > > and talked med options with my pdoc, he asked me what I felt was > > more > > > of > > > > > > hindrance to me at the time; anger or depression. I went with > > anger. > > > > > > Considering my dislike of sexual side-effects, I chose against > > > > > > anti-depressants and went with lithium. The lithium has cause > > > > > > hypothyroidism. I’ve come to realize a few things about my anger > > and > > > > > > medicating it. I wasn’t really medicating a feeling. I was > > > medicating > > > > a > > > > > > situation. I was living in total frustration due to a lack in > > > > resources, > > > > > > backlash from my ex’s rejection of the kids, fighting crisis after > > > > crisis > > > > > > everyday….some were self created crisis so I could feel > justified > > in > > > > > > yelling "HELP" but most were just your plain old single mom, with > > very > > > > > > little income, trying to feed her kids kind of crisis. With my > > > > > frustrations > > > > > > always peaked, my angry outbursts were right there with it. It’s > > that > > > > > (the > > > > > > rock is just too heavy" thing I talk about all the time. Well, > all > > of > > > > the > > > > > > sudden my load was lightened. I got married. I got support; > > > financial, > > > > > > spiritual, emotional and all the rest. I have not had an > "episode" > > > > since > > > > > > January 13th, my wedding day. Placid may disagree but bless his > > > heart, > > > > > he’s > > > > > > never seen one of my episodes. So, if the reason for taking the > > > lithium > > > > > is > > > > > > no longer there, wouldn’t it be logical to consider weaning off of > > it? > > > > I > > > > > > was also diagnosed with major depression. The lithium is used to > > help > > > > > > stabilize that too. I do still get depressed but nothing compared > > to > > > > > before > > > > > > and when I am, the duration is shorter. And then there’s the > > > > > consideration > > > > > > that the depression is caused by Fybromyalgia/CFS. When I sleep > all > > > the > > > > > > time am I depressed or is it the CFS? Or dies the CFS cause the > > > > > depression? > > > > > > Which ever the case may be and I think it may be both, the causes > of > > > my > > > > > > depression are not the same as they were. I was also diagnosed > ADD. > > > > For > > > > > > this I was prescribed Adderall. I call it my happy drug. It > makes > > me > > > > > feel > > > > > > "lighter" and very much more awake. It *is* an amphetamine so no > > > > > surprise. > > > > > > The generic they have me on now is crap. I’m back to > hyperfocusing > > on > > > > > > everything. Been up all night doing things I just don’t think can > > > wait > > > > > > until tomorrow. And God forbid anyone interrupt me. If one of > the > > > kids > > > > > > were to come in right now and ask for my attention, I’d feel like > > I’d > > > > been > > > > > > shocked with a volt of electricity. Placid is very patient with > me > > > but > > > > I > > > > > > can tell that my inability to stay tuned in or to tune in to > > something > > > > > apart > > > > > > from what I’m doing is getting on his nerves a bit. It’s funny > > (well > > > no > > > > > not > > > > > > really) but years back, my ex introduced me to crank. I’d never > > done > > > a > > > > > drug > > > > > > in my life. I tried it, thinking I’d make him feel horrible for > > > > > introducing > > > > > > his wife to illegal drugs (God, how stupid!). All of the sudden I > > was > > > > > > awake, my house got clean, I lost weight and I was being nice to > my > > > > > > children. I only did enough to keep me feeling and acting like I > > > wanted > > > > > to. > > > > > > I guess you can say I used it as a medication. It’s pretty sad > when > > > > your > > > > > > children like you better when you’re on drugs. I never became > > > addicted > > > > > and > > > > > > one day when I saw this lady in another apartment who was a full > > blown > > > > > > tweaker joansin’ for a fix, I said that was it. Didn’t want to > even

Response:

I agree but wasn’t game enough to say that. Demon. "Loon Atick" <nom…@bullshit.com> wrote in message

news:d8hlcusbjlbvk444kunc7tnmlu7la9t4ja@4ax.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I like to drink, plain and simple! Not to excess, however! Every > time I do that, I pay for it….although sometimes I ’slip’ and catch > a nasty buzz. I do love my brewskis. Must be all my German blood > with a little Dutch, Danish, English and Welsh thrown in there. > Either way, I don’t abuse it, I never abused drugs…although I > experimented frequently. To each his own I guess. I don’t think > anyone has the right to tell anyone else they cannot have a > drink…even if they happened to be an alcoholic, because it STILL > would be a personal decision/choice. > Smooch, Deb

Response:

Huh? Too heavy for me. I’m brain dead Proud of it, I think? Dblebbbbb On Sat, 27 Apr 2002 14:52:27 GMT, "Silveroak" <silver…@feist.com> wrote: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->"Sanguine" <sang…@wentwest.com> wrote in message >news:aadq0b$9qdd0$1@ID-138549.news.dfncis.de… >> >> Placid and I ARE >> > > going to have a rub here because even though he *says* he lets people >do >> > > what they want, I know I’d feel the backlash from him smelling even >one >> > > drink on my breath, for weeks. >> > I think there’s been confusion here. Would I like the fact that you went >> and >> > got ‘buzzed’ with your sister at her place? No. But as long as I don’t >> have >> > to see it, smell it, or hear about it afterwards, I wouldn’t act weird >> > toward you at all. I truly do understand the situation and can put >myself >> > aside and keep things in perspective. Don’t worry. Now a bar… or >> > stories… or the foul stink of anything with alcohol in it… that’s >what >> > would bother me. Anyway, I would, however, be disgusted every time I >> thought >> > about it, which would be roughly every four minutes for a good week or >two >> > afterwards. You’d never know it though, because I know it’s rediculous. >> That does not sound like healthy perspective to me. >> > > I’m not sure where the place of compromise >> > > is on this one. Before we married, I agreed when he asked if we could >> be >> > > united in the "No booze in our house" policy. But since then he’s >> become >> > > much more open about his displeasure with it. I would be fine to >never >> > take >> > > another drink in my life but should I have to because I fear the very >> > quiet >> > > but very apparent wrath of my other half? >> > "Wrath" isn’t the correct word. And no, that isn’t a good reason not to >do >> > it. A good reason would be, for example, out of respect for my feelings >> and >> > wishes, the same as I would do if there were something you felt strongly >> > about. >> So it is not ok with you that I would go to Tonia’s and amongst many other >> things, have a few drinks? And if I did that would mean I do not respect >> your feelings? When Matt doesn’t want to take the garbage out after dark >> because he thinks the Boogie Man will get him, I make him do it anyway >> because *I* know that his fears and concerns are of something make >believe. >> If I gave into his fears and allowed him to NOT take out the garbage, >> wouldn’t I be validating his unrealistic fears? Or would I be >disregarding >> his feelings without respect? Or both? >> >Doing it out of care/respect is good, not out of fear or a sense of >> > grappling for independence and spiteful resistance to any perceived >> outside >> > control over you. NEVER do anything out of fear, only love. >> Of course I’d abstain for fear of conflict with you because that’s what >"the >> law" conjurs up. Fear. "Love" on the other hand permits all things which >> do not go against Who I am and to Whom I belong. You know what I mean. >> Cogge`, got an opinion on this one? >> "sense of grappling for independence and spiteful resistance to any >> perceived outside >> control over you" Now THAT is not a concern. Nicely put though. >> Alcohol is NOT the issue. Is catering to your self proclaimed ridiculous >> fears a healthy way to show you love and respect? I really don’t know. >> Really. I had this debate with my ex but it was flipped. However, he >> WAS/IS an addict and when he said he didn’t have a problem, that it was I >> who had the problem, he was justifying his behavior and in denial. I am >> not. I would say to him, if it’s not a problem then out of your love and >> respect for me just stop drinking. I’d say that if he were to ask me to >do >> something, even silly, like stop blowing my nose with toilet paper instead >> of Kleenex, I would comply, simply because it meant so much to him. I’m >not >> so sure you are in the shoes I was in. I really just don’t know. I’m new >> to this healthy relationship stuff amongst two mentally ill partners too, >ya >> know. >> Love, >> moh > Slow down and back off! First off, he said that he knew his perspective >on the issue was ‘rediculous’ and that is why his apparent fury is kept >silent. Secondly the comparisons he made were of reasons to not ever drink >again- he did not say that that behavior was required. Out of three option >(don’t drink from fear of my husband, don’t drink from respect from my >husband, or drink- which has many possible sub categories as well) he >adressed only two- the two that assumed you were not drinking, and said one >of those would not be appropriate: in short he does not want you to change >your behavior out of fear of his anger. That is a very admirable and strong >step to take. He also (elsewhere) expressed a (represed) gratitude as to >your choice of venues which takes his feelings into consideration.

Response:

Meant Argento. Got "Gladiator" on the brain. Placid Fury Silveroak <silver…@feist.com> wrote in message

news:LWyy8.8904$8p3.747283@newsread1.prod.itd.earthlink.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> "Sanguine" <sang…@wentwest.com> wrote in message > news:aadq0b$9qdd0$1@ID-138549.news.dfncis.de… > > >> Placid and I ARE > > > > going to have a rub here because even though he *says* he lets people > do > > > > what they want, I know I’d feel the backlash from him smelling even > one > > > > drink on my breath, for weeks. > > > I think there’s been confusion here. Would I like the fact that you went > > and > > > got ‘buzzed’ with your sister at her place? No. But as long as I don’t > > have > > > to see it, smell it, or hear about it afterwards, I wouldn’t act weird > > > toward you at all. I truly do understand the situation and can put > myself > > > aside and keep things in perspective. Don’t worry. Now a bar… or > > > stories… or the foul stink of anything with alcohol in it… that’s > what > > > would bother me. Anyway, I would, however, be disgusted every time I > > thought > > > about it, which would be roughly every four minutes for a good week or > two > > > afterwards. You’d never know it though, because I know it’s rediculous. > > That does not sound like healthy perspective to me. > > > > I’m not sure where the place of compromise > > > > is on this one. Before we married, I agreed when he asked if we could > > be > > > > united in the "No booze in our house" policy. But since then he’s > > become > > > > much more open about his displeasure with it. I would be fine to > never > > > take > > > > another drink in my life but should I have to because I fear the very > > > quiet > > > > but very apparent wrath of my other half? > > > "Wrath" isn’t the correct word. And no, that isn’t a good reason not to > do > > > it. A good reason would be, for example, out of respect for my feelings > > and > > > wishes, the same as I would do if there were something you felt strongly > > > about. > > So it is not ok with you that I would go to Tonia’s and amongst many other > > things, have a few drinks? And if I did that would mean I do not respect > > your feelings? When Matt doesn’t want to take the garbage out after dark > > because he thinks the Boogie Man will get him, I make him do it anyway > > because *I* know that his fears and concerns are of something make > believe. > > If I gave into his fears and allowed him to NOT take out the garbage, > > wouldn’t I be validating his unrealistic fears? Or would I be > disregarding > > his feelings without respect? Or both? > > >Doing it out of care/respect is good, not out of fear or a sense of > > > grappling for independence and spiteful resistance to any perceived > > outside > > > control over you. NEVER do anything out of fear, only love. > > Of course I’d abstain for fear of conflict with you because that’s what > "the > > law" conjurs up. Fear. "Love" on the other hand permits all things which > > do not go against Who I am and to Whom I belong. You know what I mean. > > Cogge`, got an opinion on this one? > > "sense of grappling for independence and spiteful resistance to any > > perceived outside > > control over you" Now THAT is not a concern. Nicely put though. > > Alcohol is NOT the issue. Is catering to your self proclaimed ridiculous > > fears a healthy way to show you love and respect? I really don’t know. > > Really. I had this debate with my ex but it was flipped. However, he > > WAS/IS an addict and when he said he didn’t have a problem, that it was I > > who had the problem, he was justifying his behavior and in denial. I am > > not. I would say to him, if it’s not a problem then out of your love and > > respect for me just stop drinking. I’d say that if he were to ask me to > do > > something, even silly, like stop blowing my nose with toilet paper instead > > of Kleenex, I would comply, simply because it meant so much to him. I’m > not > > so sure you are in the shoes I was in. I really just don’t know. I’m new > > to this healthy relationship stuff amongst two mentally ill partners too, > ya > > know. > > Love, > > moh > Slow down and back off! First off, he said that he knew his perspective > on the issue was ‘rediculous’ and that is why his apparent fury is kept > silent. Secondly the comparisons he made were of reasons to not ever drink > again- he did not say that that behavior was required. Out of three option > (don’t drink from fear of my husband, don’t drink from respect from my > husband, or drink- which has many possible sub categories as well) he > adressed only two- the two that assumed you were not drinking, and said one > of those would not be appropriate: in short he does not want you to change > your behavior out of fear of his anger. That is a very admirable and strong > step to take. He also (elsewhere) expressed a (represed) gratitude as to > your choice of venues which takes his feelings into consideration.

Response:

Silveroak <silver…@feist.com> wrote in message

news:LWyy8.8904$8p3.747283@newsread1.prod.itd.earthlink.net… > Slow down and back off! First off, he said that he knew his perspective > on the issue was ‘rediculous’ and that is why his apparent fury is kept > silent. Secondly the comparisons he made were of reasons to not ever drink > again- he did not say that that behavior was required. Out of three option > (don’t drink from fear of my husband, don’t drink from respect from my > husband, or drink- which has many possible sub categories as well) he > adressed only two- the two that assumed you were not drinking, and said one > of those would not be appropriate: in short he does not want you to change > your behavior out of fear of his anger. That is a very admirable and strong > step to take. He also (elsewhere) expressed a (represed) gratitude as to > your choice of venues which takes his feelings into consideration.

Oh. Thanks, Ang

Response:

A very correct read, Scarto. Well done. Placid Fury Silveroak <silver…@feist.com> wrote in message

Response:

I like to drink, plain and simple! Not to excess, however! Every time I do that, I pay for it….although sometimes I ’slip’ and catch a nasty buzz. I do love my brewskis. Must be all my German blood with a little Dutch, Danish, English and Welsh thrown in there. Either way, I don’t abuse it, I never abused drugs…although I experimented frequently. To each his own I guess. I don’t think anyone has the right to tell anyone else they cannot have a drink…even if they happened to be an alcoholic, because it STILL would be a personal decision/choice. Smooch, Deb

Response:

"Sanguine" <sang…@wentwest.com> wrote in message

news:aadq0b$9qdd0$1@ID-138549.news.dfncis.de… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> >> Placid and I ARE > > > going to have a rub here because even though he *says* he lets people do > > > what they want, I know I’d feel the backlash from him smelling even one > > > drink on my breath, for weeks. > > I think there’s been confusion here. Would I like the fact that you went > and > > got ‘buzzed’ with your sister at her place? No. But as long as I don’t > have > > to see it, smell it, or hear about it afterwards, I wouldn’t act weird > > toward you at all. I truly do understand the situation and can put myself > > aside and keep things in perspective. Don’t worry. Now a bar… or > > stories… or the foul stink of anything with alcohol in it… that’s what > > would bother me. Anyway, I would, however, be disgusted every time I > thought > > about it, which would be roughly every four minutes for a good week or two > > afterwards. You’d never know it though, because I know it’s rediculous. > That does not sound like healthy perspective to me. > > > I’m not sure where the place of compromise > > > is on this one. Before we married, I agreed when he asked if we could > be > > > united in the "No booze in our house" policy. But since then he’s > become > > > much more open about his displeasure with it. I would be fine to never > > take > > > another drink in my life but should I have to because I fear the very > > quiet > > > but very apparent wrath of my other half? > > "Wrath" isn’t the correct word. And no, that isn’t a good reason not to do > > it. A good reason would be, for example, out of respect for my feelings > and > > wishes, the same as I would do if there were something you felt strongly > > about. > So it is not ok with you that I would go to Tonia’s and amongst many other > things, have a few drinks? And if I did that would mean I do not respect > your feelings? When Matt doesn’t want to take the garbage out after dark > because he thinks the Boogie Man will get him, I make him do it anyway > because *I* know that his fears and concerns are of something make believe. > If I gave into his fears and allowed him to NOT take out the garbage, > wouldn’t I be validating his unrealistic fears? Or would I be disregarding > his feelings without respect? Or both? > >Doing it out of care/respect is good, not out of fear or a sense of > > grappling for independence and spiteful resistance to any perceived > outside > > control over you. NEVER do anything out of fear, only love. > Of course I’d abstain for fear of conflict with you because that’s what "the > law" conjurs up. Fear. "Love" on the other hand permits all things which > do not go against Who I am and to Whom I belong. You know what I mean. > Cogge`, got an opinion on this one? > "sense of grappling for independence and spiteful resistance to any > perceived outside > control over you" Now THAT is not a concern. Nicely put though. > Alcohol is NOT the issue. Is catering to your self proclaimed ridiculous > fears a healthy way to show you love and respect? I really don’t know. > Really. I had this debate with my ex but it was flipped. However, he > WAS/IS an addict and when he said he didn’t have a problem, that it was I > who had the problem, he was justifying his behavior and in denial. I am > not. I would say to him, if it’s not a problem then out of your love and > respect for me just stop drinking. I’d say that if he were to ask me to do > something, even silly, like stop blowing my nose with toilet paper instead > of Kleenex, I would comply, simply because it meant so much to him. I’m not > so sure you are in the shoes I was in. I really just don’t know. I’m new > to this healthy relationship stuff amongst two mentally ill partners too, ya > know. > Love, > moh

Slow down and back off! First off, he said that he knew his perspective on the issue was ‘rediculous’ and that is why his apparent fury is kept silent. Secondly the comparisons he made were of reasons to not ever drink again- he did not say that that behavior was required. Out of three option (don’t drink from fear of my husband, don’t drink from respect from my husband, or drink- which has many possible sub categories as well) he adressed only two- the two that assumed you were not drinking, and said one of those would not be appropriate: in short he does not want you to change your behavior out of fear of his anger. That is a very admirable and strong step to take. He also (elsewhere) expressed a (represed) gratitude as to your choice of venues which takes his feelings into consideration.

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->> Placid and I ARE > > going to have a rub here because even though he *says* he lets people do > > what they want, I know I’d feel the backlash from him smelling even one > > drink on my breath, for weeks. > I think there’s been confusion here. Would I like the fact that you went and > got ‘buzzed’ with your sister at her place? No. But as long as I don’t have > to see it, smell it, or hear about it afterwards, I wouldn’t act weird > toward you at all. I truly do understand the situation and can put myself > aside and keep things in perspective. Don’t worry. Now a bar… or > stories… or the foul stink of anything with alcohol in it… that’s what > would bother me. Anyway, I would, however, be disgusted every time I thought > about it, which would be roughly every four minutes for a good week or two > afterwards. You’d never know it though, because I know it’s rediculous.

That does not sound like healthy perspective to me. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> > I’m not sure where the place of compromise > > is on this one. Before we married, I agreed when he asked if we could be > > united in the "No booze in our house" policy. But since then he’s become > > much more open about his displeasure with it. I would be fine to never > take > > another drink in my life but should I have to because I fear the very > quiet > > but very apparent wrath of my other half? > "Wrath" isn’t the correct word. And no, that isn’t a good reason not to do > it. A good reason would be, for example, out of respect for my feelings and > wishes, the same as I would do if there were something you felt strongly > about.

So it is not ok with you that I would go to Tonia’s and amongst many other things, have a few drinks? And if I did that would mean I do not respect your feelings? When Matt doesn’t want to take the garbage out after dark because he thinks the Boogie Man will get him, I make him do it anyway because *I* know that his fears and concerns are of something make believe. If I gave into his fears and allowed him to NOT take out the garbage, wouldn’t I be validating his unrealistic fears? Or would I be disregarding his feelings without respect? Or both? >Doing it out of care/respect is good, not out of fear or a sense of > grappling for independence and spiteful resistance to any perceived outside > control over you. NEVER do anything out of fear, only love.

Of course I’d abstain for fear of conflict with you because that’s what "the law" conjurs up. Fear. "Love" on the other hand permits all things which do not go against Who I am and to Whom I belong. You know what I mean. Cogge`, got an opinion on this one? "sense of grappling for independence and spiteful resistance to any perceived outside control over you" Now THAT is not a concern. Nicely put though. Alcohol is NOT the issue. Is catering to your self proclaimed ridiculous fears a healthy way to show you love and respect? I really don’t know. Really. I had this debate with my ex but it was flipped. However, he WAS/IS an addict and when he said he didn’t have a problem, that it was I who had the problem, he was justifying his behavior and in denial. I am not. I would say to him, if it’s not a problem then out of your love and respect for me just stop drinking. I’d say that if he were to ask me to do something, even silly, like stop blowing my nose with toilet paper instead of Kleenex, I would comply, simply because it meant so much to him. I’m not so sure you are in the shoes I was in. I really just don’t know. I’m new to this healthy relationship stuff amongst two mentally ill partners too, ya know. Love, moh

Response:

> Well, I’ve got a migraine, so I’m going to go not take any painkillers > and have some sex.

And what delightful sex it was. Great cure for headaches. _Demon_Eyes_ <a…@nowhere.com> wrote in message

news:9Xoy8.3900$2l.320366@ozemail.com.au… > I admit I like to have a few drinks, but I don’t get drunk, I hate that > feeling.

Me too. Got that out of my system years ago. > I like to drink because I like the taste of certain alcohol,

Again, me too. I love sweet mixed drinks. Most of which, when mixed, end up with hardly enough alcohol but it’s the taste none the less > but I don’t make it a regular thing. I haven’t had a drink for at least a month > and then when I did it was 2 glasses and that’s all.

It’s been about 8 months for me and like you, only socially…AND away from my kids. They are still recovering from their alcoholic dad so any is too much for them to see. I figure, if I was going to become an alcoholic, I"d have done it by now. The worst part of my life is over. Placid and I ARE going to have a rub here because even though he *says* he lets people do what they want, I know I’d feel the backlash from him smelling even one drink on my breath, for weeks. I’m not sure where the place of compromise is on this one. Before we married, I agreed when he asked if we could be united in the "No booze in our house" policy. But since then he’s become much more open about his displeasure with it. I would be fine to never take another drink in my life but should I have to because I fear the very quiet but very apparent wrath of my other half? Oh I dunno. > Anyway, I am rambling. Maybe I am just tired, maybe its because I am

lonely, No. I’m the one rambling. Being up for two days makes me a rambler. Or maybe I’m just this way. > either way I better stop.

Either way I better stop. Love, Ang – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Demon.

Response:

Sanguine <sang…@wentwest.com> wrote in message

news:aadbft$9bbr1$1@ID-138549.news.dfncis.de… > > Well, I’ve got a migraine, so I’m going to go not take any painkillers > > and have some sex. > And what delightful sex it was. Great cure for headaches.

Yes Ma’am, tis. And was. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> _Demon_Eyes_ <a…@nowhere.com> wrote in message > news:9Xoy8.3900$2l.320366@ozemail.com.au… > > I admit I like to have a few drinks, but I don’t get drunk, I hate that > > feeling. > Me too. Got that out of my system years ago. > > I like to drink because I like the taste of certain alcohol, > Again, me too. I love sweet mixed drinks. Most of which, when mixed, end > up with hardly enough alcohol but it’s the taste none the less > > but I don’t make it a regular thing. I haven’t had a drink for at least a > month > > and then when I did it was 2 glasses and that’s all. > It’s been about 8 months for me and like you, only socially…AND away from > my kids. They are still recovering from their alcoholic dad so any is too > much for them to see. I figure, if I was going to become an alcoholic, I"d > have done it by now. The worst part of my life is over. Placid and I ARE > going to have a rub here because even though he *says* he lets people do > what they want, I know I’d feel the backlash from him smelling even one > drink on my breath, for weeks.

I think there’s been confusion here. Would I like the fact that you went and got ‘buzzed’ with your sister at her place? No. But as long as I don’t have to see it, smell it, or hear about it afterwards, I wouldn’t act weird toward you at all. I truly do understand the situation and can put myself aside and keep things in perspective. Don’t worry. Now a bar… or stories… or the foul stink of anything with alcohol in it… that’s what would bother me. Anyway, I would, however, be disgusted every time I thought about it, which would be roughly every four minutes for a good week or two afterwards. You’d never know it though, because I know it’s rediculous. > I’m not sure where the place of compromise > is on this one. Before we married, I agreed when he asked if we could be > united in the "No booze in our house" policy. But since then he’s become > much more open about his displeasure with it. I would be fine to never take > another drink in my life but should I have to because I fear the very quiet > but very apparent wrath of my other half?

"Wrath" isn’t the correct word. And no, that isn’t a good reason not to do it. A good reason would be, for example, out of respect for my feelings and wishes, the same as I would do if there were something you felt strongly about. Doing it out of care/respect is good, not out of fear or a sense of grappling for independence and spiteful resistance to any perceived outside control over you. NEVER do anything out of fear, only love. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Oh I dunno. > > Anyway, I am rambling. Maybe I am just tired, maybe its because I am > lonely, > No. I’m the one rambling. Being up for two days makes me a rambler. Or > maybe I’m just this way. > > either way I better stop. > Either way I better stop. > Love, > Ang > > Demon.

Response:

Good for you, Placid ;-) Smooch, Deb On Fri, 26 Apr 2002 20:04:41 -0700, "Placid Fury" <so…@nope.net> wrote: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Aye, that’s something I do Demon. I will go to my cold, cold grave >without ever having taken a single drink, a single drag, snorted a line or >shot anything, even once.

Response:

Oh…for a Jaggermeister right now Deb On Sat, 27 Apr 2002 04:10:46 GMT, "Silveroak" <silver…@feist.com> wrote: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->I have a drink very occasionally- maybe a couple of times a year. I have >only seen two reasons to drink- >tension headaches: it is a relaxant >’furry throat’- hey alchohol is the active ingredient in mouthwash, so when >in the nightclub you swish with tequilla instead (then chase it with >Jaggermeister to clear the burning sensation, but that was it for the >evening- two shots) >"Placid Fury" <so…@nope.net> wrote in message >news:uck5bm3rh82jd8@corp.supernews.com… >> Aye, that’s something I do Demon. I will go to my cold, cold grave >> without ever having taken a single drink, a single drag, snorted a line or >> shot anything, even once. If that means I die because of that conviction, >so >> be it. I will not ever have any such substances in any household I am the >> head of. I do not like to be around anyone that’s even had a drink, drunk >or >> not. The very idea revolts me and grates on my every sensibility. I really >> hate it when people I like or respect drink… bothers me a lot. But I can >> not make their decisions for them and have no right to say I’m right. It’s >> not even a religious objection; it is a logical, realistic objection. It’s >> not about the potential of feeling good for a while, but about the >potential >> for feeling even worse in the long run… and there’s no reason to make >> things worse than they are, ever. >> And yes, I like to suffer. I deprive myself of things others indulge >in, >> and somehow feel better for it. I like to do more, often more than anyone >> else could given the situation, on as little as possible. Makes the >victory >> even sweeter. Messed up system I know, but it’s always worked for me, and >> provides immense satisfaction. >> Well, I’ve got a migraine, so I’m going to go not take any painkillers >> and have some sex. >> Later. >> Placid Fury >> Sanguine <sang…@wentwest.com> wrote in message >> news:aacs12$9sdl9$1@ID-138549.news.dfncis.de… >> > He’d never…will never. That’s one of the greatest securities the kids >> > have with him. When we did our "we’re almost gonna be a family" talk, >Ron >> > asked the kids what they expected of him and he told them what they >could >> > expect. #1 was that there would never be any type of alcohol in our >home >> > and that he’d never ever take a drink. He’s one of those type of people >> who >> > say never ever and truly never ever. I however am planning on going >away >> > for a couple of nights next week and stay with my sis. Her husband >> travels >> > during the week so the house is empty. I’m planning on laughing till I >> cry, >> > playing 100 games of Spite’n Malice, poking her incredibly huge boobs >> (she’s >> > always let me, ever since we were kids, if I begged enough. Don’t be >> > judging me. If you saw em, you’d be wantin’ to touch em too!) and >> drinking >> > myself up to a nice level buzz that lasts all evening. I miss my sis. >I >> > found out, last summer, that she truly does like me, admires me and >thinks >> > I’m very smart. I think of her and get teary eyed. God, I really need >to >> > sleep. But tomorrow’s Saturday and I can sleep in without feeling >> > guilty…..I think. Ron, am I supposed to be doing something tomorrow? >> > Love, >> > Ang >> > _Demon_Eyes_ <a…@nowhere.com> wrote in message >> > news:59my8.3855$2l.316955@ozemail.com.au… >> > > I hope he doesn’t take the "smoke something" or "pop something" >> > suggestions. >> > > Such a person shouldn’t waste their life on that shit. >> > > Demon. >> > > "Sanguine" <sang…@wentwest.com> wrote in message >> > > news:aacqld$9thku$1@ID-138549.news.dfncis.de… >> > > > Merci mon amore. >> > > > *However* I wouldn’t get off my meds if I thought they were still >> vital. >> > > > Sleep is vital! You need it. You’re sick, miserable, self >loathing, >> > and >> > > > not too much fun too hang out with, when you don’t get the sleep you >> > need. >> > > > So I still say, "Whatever it takes!" If that means smokin’ a joint >or >> > > > slammin’ down a shot or two then do it. You can’t thrive…..WE >can’t >> > > > thrive with you on the brink all the time. I will say that you’ve >> done >> > an >> > > > incredible job handling everything considering your physical and >> mental >> > > > stress. It’s just like you to prove your strength in such extreme >> ways. >> > > >> > > > Drink something. Pop something or smoke something. I worry. >> > > > I love you and I know you will never take any of my suggestions. >> > > > moh >> > > > Placid Fury <so…@nope.net> wrote in message >> > > > news:ucjhgallhq1vab@corp.supernews.com… >> > > > > Sheesh… this after you rag on me for not wanting to take any >> > > > > medication? Read that in a playful voice, my love… I just find >it >> > > > ironic. >> > > > > >> > > > > So everyone else in the group knows what the hell I’m talking >> > about, >> > > I >> > > > > don’t like to take medication for sleeping at all, I don’t like to >> > take >> > > > > anything to help me through the day… I don’t even like to take >> > > > painkillers >> > > > > for migraines (I just suffer through them… bothers Ang to no >end). >> > Ang >> > > > was >> > > > > once the pharmacy’s foremost advocate… >> > > > > I’m with you on the decision, MOH, whatever it may be and >> whatever >> > > > > happens because of it… >> > > > > Love ya, >> > > > > MOH >> > > > > Sanguine <sang…@wentwest.com> wrote in message >> > > > > news:aabmjc$96hvc$1@ID-138549.news.dfncis.de… >> > > > > > I’m seriously considering stopping all of my meds. I don’t like >> > being >> > > > > > dependant on them, first and foremost. When I was first >diagnosed >> > > with >> > > > > BPD >> > > > > > and talked med options with my pdoc, he asked me what I felt was >> > more >> > > of >> > > > > > hindrance to me at the time; anger or depression. I went with >> > anger. >> > > > > > Considering my dislike of sexual side-effects, I chose against >> > > > > > anti-depressants and went with lithium. The lithium has cause >> > > > > > hypothyroidism. I’ve come to realize a few things about my >anger >> > and >> > > > > > medicating it. I wasn’t really medicating a feeling. I was >> > > medicating >> > > > a >> > > > > > situation. I was living in total frustration due to a lack in >> > > > resources, >> > > > > > backlash from my ex’s rejection of the kids, fighting crisis >after >> > > > crisis >> > > > > > everyday….some were self created crisis so I could feel >> justified >> > in >> > > > > > yelling "HELP" but most were just your plain old single mom, >with >> > very >> > > > > > little income, trying to feed her kids kind of crisis. With my >> > > > > frustrations >> > > > > > always peaked, my angry outbursts were right there with it. >It’s >> > that >> > > > > (the >> > > > > > rock is just too heavy" thing I talk about all the time. Well, >> all >> > of >> > > > the >> > > > > > sudden my load was lightened. I got married. I got support; >> > > financial, >> > > > > > spiritual, emotional and all the rest. I have not had an >> "episode" >> > > > since >> > > > > > January 13th, my wedding day. Placid may disagree but bless his >> > > heart, >> > > > > he’s >> > > > > > never seen one of my episodes. So, if the reason for taking the >> > > lithium >> > > > > is >> > > > > > no longer there, wouldn’t it be logical to consider weaning off >of >> > it? >> > > > I >> > > > > > was also diagnosed with major depression. The lithium is used >to >> > help >> > > > > > stabilize that too. I do still get depressed but nothing >compared >> > to >> > > > > before >> > > > > > and when I am, the duration is shorter. And then there’s the >> > > > > consideration >> > > > > > that the depression is caused by Fybromyalgia/CFS. When I sleep >> all >> > > the >> > > > > > time am I depressed or is it the CFS? Or dies the CFS cause the >> > > > > depression? >> > > > > > Which ever the case may be and I think it may be both, the >causes >> of >> > > my >> > > > > > depression are not the same as they were. I was also diagnosed >> ADD. >> > > > For >> > > > > > this I was prescribed Adderall. I call it my happy drug. It >> makes >> > me >> > > > > feel >> > > > > > "lighter" and very much more awake. It *is* an amphetamine so >no >> > > > > surprise. >> > > > > > The generic they have me on now is crap. I’m back to >> hyperfocusing >> > on >> > > > > > everything. Been up all night doing things I just don’t think >can >> > > wait >> > > > > > until tomorrow. And God forbid anyone interrupt me. If one of >> the >> > > kids >> > > > > > were to come in right now and ask for my attention, I’d feel >like >> > I’d >> > > > been >> > > > > > shocked with a volt of electricity. Placid is very patient with >> me >> > > but >> > > > I >> > > > > > can tell that my inability to stay tuned in or to tune in to >> > something >> > > > > apart >> > > > > > from what I’m doing is getting on his nerves a bit. It’s funny >> > (well >> > > no >> > > > > not >> > > > > > really) but years back, my ex introduced me to crank. I’d never >> > done >> > > a >> > > > > drug >> > > > > > in my life. I tried it, thinking I’d make him feel horrible for >> > > > > introducing >> > > > > > his wife to illegal drugs (God, how stupid!). All of the sudden >I >> > was >> > > > > > awake, my house got clean, I lost weight and I was being nice to >> my >> > > > > > children. I only did enough to keep me feeling and acting like >I >> > > wanted >> > > > > to. >> > > > > > I guess you can say I used it as a medication. It’s pretty sad >> when >> > > > your >> > > > > > children like you better when you’re on drugs. I never became >> > > addicted >> > > > > and >> > > > > > one day when I saw

Response:

I have a drink very occasionally- maybe a couple of times a year. I have only seen two reasons to drink- tension headaches: it is a relaxant ‘furry throat’- hey alchohol is the active ingredient in mouthwash, so when in the nightclub you swish with tequilla instead (then chase it with Jaggermeister to clear the burning sensation, but that was it for the evening- two shots) "Placid Fury" <so…@nope.net> wrote in message

Response:

Aye, that’s something I do Demon. I will go to my cold, cold grave without ever having taken a single drink, a single drag, snorted a line or shot anything, even once. If that means I die because of that conviction, so be it. I will not ever have any such substances in any household I am the head of. I do not like to be around anyone that’s even had a drink, drunk or not. The very idea revolts me and grates on my every sensibility. I really hate it when people I like or respect drink… bothers me a lot. But I can not make their decisions for them and have no right to say I’m right. It’s not even a religious objection; it is a logical, realistic objection. It’s not about the potential of feeling good for a while, but about the potential for feeling even worse in the long run… and there’s no reason to make things worse than they are, ever. And yes, I like to suffer. I deprive myself of things others indulge in, and somehow feel better for it. I like to do more, often more than anyone else could given the situation, on as little as possible. Makes the victory even sweeter. Messed up system I know, but it’s always worked for me, and provides immense satisfaction. Well, I’ve got a migraine, so I’m going to go not take any painkillers and have some sex. Later. Placid Fury Sanguine <sang…@wentwest.com> wrote in message

news:aacs12$9sdl9$1@ID-138549.news.dfncis.de… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> He’d never…will never. That’s one of the greatest securities the kids > have with him. When we did our "we’re almost gonna be a family" talk, Ron > asked the kids what they expected of him and he told them what they could > expect. #1 was that there would never be any type of alcohol in our home > and that he’d never ever take a drink. He’s one of those type of people who > say never ever and truly never ever. I however am planning on going away > for a couple of nights next week and stay with my sis. Her husband travels > during the week so the house is empty. I’m planning on laughing till I cry, > playing 100 games of Spite’n Malice, poking her incredibly huge boobs (she’s > always let me, ever since we were kids, if I begged enough. Don’t be > judging me. If you saw em, you’d be wantin’ to touch em too!) and drinking > myself up to a nice level buzz that lasts all evening. I miss my sis. I > found out, last summer, that she truly does like me, admires me and thinks > I’m very smart. I think of her and get teary eyed. God, I really need to > sleep. But tomorrow’s Saturday and I can sleep in without feeling > guilty…..I think. Ron, am I supposed to be doing something tomorrow? > Love, > Ang > _Demon_Eyes_ <a…@nowhere.com> wrote in message > news:59my8.3855$2l.316955@ozemail.com.au… > > I hope he doesn’t take the "smoke something" or "pop something" > suggestions. > > Such a person shouldn’t waste their life on that shit. > > Demon. > > "Sanguine" <sang…@wentwest.com> wrote in message > > news:aacqld$9thku$1@ID-138549.news.dfncis.de… > > > Merci mon amore. > > > *However* I wouldn’t get off my meds if I thought they were still vital. > > > Sleep is vital! You need it. You’re sick, miserable, self loathing, > and > > > not too much fun too hang out with, when you don’t get the sleep you > need. > > > So I still say, "Whatever it takes!" If that means smokin’ a joint or > > > slammin’ down a shot or two then do it. You can’t thrive…..WE can’t > > > thrive with you on the brink all the time. I will say that you’ve done > an > > > incredible job handling everything considering your physical and mental > > > stress. It’s just like you to prove your strength in such extreme ways. > > > > > Drink something. Pop something or smoke something. I worry. > > > I love you and I know you will never take any of my suggestions. > > > moh > > > Placid Fury <so…@nope.net> wrote in message > > > news:ucjhgallhq1vab@corp.supernews.com… > > > > Sheesh… this after you rag on me for not wanting to take any > > > > medication? Read that in a playful voice, my love… I just find it > > > ironic. > > > > > > > > So everyone else in the group knows what the hell I’m talking > about, > > I > > > > don’t like to take medication for sleeping at all, I don’t like to > take > > > > anything to help me through the day… I don’t even like to take > > > painkillers > > > > for migraines (I just suffer through them… bothers Ang to no end). > Ang > > > was > > > > once the pharmacy’s foremost advocate… > > > > I’m with you on the decision, MOH, whatever it may be and whatever > > > > happens because of it… > > > > Love ya, > > > > MOH > > > > Sanguine <sang…@wentwest.com> wrote in message > > > > news:aabmjc$96hvc$1@ID-138549.news.dfncis.de… > > > > > I’m seriously considering stopping all of my meds. I don’t like > being > > > > > dependant on them, first and foremost. When I was first diagnosed > > with > > > > BPD > > > > > and talked med options with my pdoc, he asked me what I felt was > more > > of > > > > > hindrance to me at the time; anger or depression. I went with > anger. > > > > > Considering my dislike of sexual side-effects, I chose against > > > > > anti-depressants and went with lithium. The lithium has cause > > > > > hypothyroidism. I’ve come to realize a few things about my anger > and > > > > > medicating it. I wasn’t really medicating a feeling. I was > > medicating > > > a > > > > > situation. I was living in total frustration due to a lack in > > > resources, > > > > > backlash from my ex’s rejection of the kids, fighting crisis after > > > crisis > > > > > everyday….some were self created crisis so I could feel justified > in > > > > > yelling "HELP" but most were just your plain old single mom, with > very > > > > > little income, trying to feed her kids kind of crisis. With my > > > > frustrations > > > > > always peaked, my angry outbursts were right there with it. It’s > that > > > > (the > > > > > rock is just too heavy" thing I talk about all the time. Well, all > of > > > the > > > > > sudden my load was lightened. I got married. I got support; > > financial, > > > > > spiritual, emotional and all the rest. I have not had an "episode" > > > since > > > > > January 13th, my wedding day. Placid may disagree but bless his > > heart, > > > > he’s > > > > > never seen one of my episodes. So, if the reason for taking the > > lithium > > > > is > > > > > no longer there, wouldn’t it be logical to consider weaning off of > it? > > > I > > > > > was also diagnosed with major depression. The lithium is used to > help > > > > > stabilize that too. I do still get depressed but nothing compared > to > > > > before > > > > > and when I am, the duration is shorter. And then there’s the > > > > consideration > > > > > that the depression is caused by Fybromyalgia/CFS. When I sleep all > > the > > > > > time am I depressed or is it the CFS? Or dies the CFS cause the > > > > depression? > > > > > Which ever the case may be and I think it may be both, the causes of > > my > > > > > depression are not the same as they were. I was also diagnosed ADD. > > > For > > > > > this I was prescribed Adderall. I call it my happy drug. It makes > me > > > > feel > > > > > "lighter" and very much more awake. It *is* an amphetamine so no > > > > surprise. > > > > > The generic they have me on now is crap. I’m back to hyperfocusing > on > > > > > everything. Been up all night doing things I just don’t think can > > wait > > > > > until tomorrow. And God forbid anyone interrupt me. If one of the > > kids > > > > > were to come in right now and ask for my attention, I’d feel like > I’d > > > been > > > > > shocked with a volt of electricity. Placid is very patient with me > > but > > > I > > > > > can tell that my inability to stay tuned in or to tune in to > something > > > > apart > > > > > from what I’m doing is getting on his nerves a bit. It’s funny > (well > > no > > > > not > > > > > really) but years back, my ex introduced me to crank. I’d never > done > > a > > > > drug > > > > > in my life. I tried it, thinking I’d make him feel horrible for > > > > introducing > > > > > his wife to illegal drugs (God, how stupid!). All of the sudden I > was > > > > > awake, my house got clean, I lost weight and I was being nice to my > > > > > children. I only did enough to keep me feeling and acting like I > > wanted > > > > to. > > > > > I guess you can say I used it as a medication. It’s pretty sad when > > > your > > > > > children like you better when you’re on drugs. I never became > > addicted > > > > and > > > > > one day when I saw this lady in another apartment who was a full > blown > > > > > tweaker joansin’ for a fix, I said that was it. Didn’t want to even > > > > chance > > > > > it. Yeah, I know, I’d been chancin’ it all along. The point is, I > > > don’t > > > > > want to have to take amphetamines for the rest of my life to feel > > > normal. > > > > I > > > > > wonder if the abnormality is because of the thyroid and cfs stuff. > Oh > > I > > > > > dunno. I’m just tired of all these pill bottles around my house and > I > > > > don’t > > > > > want to raise my kids thinking meds are our way of life. Gotta > wake > > up > > > > the > > > > > boy for school and then head to the laundry mat. Yuck! > > > > > Love, > > > > > Ang

Response:

Sheesh… this after you rag on me for not wanting to take any medication? Read that in a playful voice, my love… I just find it ironic. So everyone else in the group knows what the hell I’m talking about, I don’t like to take medication for sleeping at all, I don’t like to take anything to help me through the day… I don’t even like to take painkillers for migraines (I just suffer through them… bothers Ang to no end). Ang was once the pharmacy’s foremost advocate… I’m with you on the decision, MOH, whatever it may be and whatever happens because of it… Love ya, MOH Sanguine <sang…@wentwest.com> wrote in message

news:aabmjc$96hvc$1@ID-138549.news.dfncis.de… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I’m seriously considering stopping all of my meds. I don’t like being > dependant on them, first and foremost. When I was first diagnosed with BPD > and talked med options with my pdoc, he asked me what I felt was more of > hindrance to me at the time; anger or depression. I went with anger. > Considering my dislike of sexual side-effects, I chose against > anti-depressants and went with lithium. The lithium has cause > hypothyroidism. I’ve come to realize a few things about my anger and > medicating it. I wasn’t really medicating a feeling. I was medicating a > situation. I was living in total frustration due to a lack in resources, > backlash from my ex’s rejection of the kids, fighting crisis after crisis > everyday….some were self created crisis so I could feel justified in > yelling "HELP" but most were just your plain old single mom, with very > little income, trying to feed her kids kind of crisis. With my frustrations > always peaked, my angry outbursts were right there with it. It’s that (the > rock is just too heavy" thing I talk about all the time. Well, all of the > sudden my load was lightened. I got married. I got support; financial, > spiritual, emotional and all the rest. I have not had an "episode" since > January 13th, my wedding day. Placid may disagree but bless his heart, he’s > never seen one of my episodes. So, if the reason for taking the lithium is > no longer there, wouldn’t it be logical to consider weaning off of it? I > was also diagnosed with major depression. The lithium is used to help > stabilize that too. I do still get depressed but nothing compared to before > and when I am, the duration is shorter. And then there’s the consideration > that the depression is caused by Fybromyalgia/CFS. When I sleep all the > time am I depressed or is it the CFS? Or dies the CFS cause the depression? > Which ever the case may be and I think it may be both, the causes of my > depression are not the same as they were. I was also diagnosed ADD. For > this I was prescribed Adderall. I call it my happy drug. It makes me feel > "lighter" and very much more awake. It *is* an amphetamine so no surprise. > The generic they have me on now is crap. I’m back to hyperfocusing on > everything. Been up all night doing things I just don’t think can wait > until tomorrow. And God forbid anyone interrupt me. If one of the kids > were to come in right now and ask for my attention, I’d feel like I’d been > shocked with a volt of electricity. Placid is very patient with me but I > can tell that my inability to stay tuned in or to tune in to something apart > from what I’m doing is getting on his nerves a bit. It’s funny (well no not > really) but years back, my ex introduced me to crank. I’d never done a drug > in my life. I tried it, thinking I’d make him feel horrible for introducing > his wife to illegal drugs (God, how stupid!). All of the sudden I was > awake, my house got clean, I lost weight and I was being nice to my > children. I only did enough to keep me feeling and acting like I wanted to. > I guess you can say I used it as a medication. It’s pretty sad when your > children like you better when you’re on drugs. I never became addicted and > one day when I saw this lady in another apartment who was a full blown > tweaker joansin’ for a fix, I said that was it. Didn’t want to even chance > it. Yeah, I know, I’d been chancin’ it all along. The point is, I don’t > want to have to take amphetamines for the rest of my life to feel normal. I > wonder if the abnormality is because of the thyroid and cfs stuff. Oh I > dunno. I’m just tired of all these pill bottles around my house and I don’t > want to raise my kids thinking meds are our way of life. Gotta wake up the > boy for school and then head to the laundry mat. Yuck! > Love, > Ang

Response:

He’d never…will never. That’s one of the greatest securities the kids have with him. When we did our "we’re almost gonna be a family" talk, Ron asked the kids what they expected of him and he told them what they could expect. #1 was that there would never be any type of alcohol in our home and that he’d never ever take a drink. He’s one of those type of people who say never ever and truly never ever. I however am planning on going away for a couple of nights next week and stay with my sis. Her husband travels during the week so the house is empty. I’m planning on laughing till I cry, playing 100 games of Spite’n Malice, poking her incredibly huge boobs (she’s always let me, ever since we were kids, if I begged enough. Don’t be judging me. If you saw em, you’d be wantin’ to touch em too!) and drinking myself up to a nice level buzz that lasts all evening. I miss my sis. I found out, last summer, that she truly does like me, admires me and thinks I’m very smart. I think of her and get teary eyed. God, I really need to sleep. But tomorrow’s Saturday and I can sleep in without feeling guilty…..I think. Ron, am I supposed to be doing something tomorrow? Love, Ang _Demon_Eyes_ <a…@nowhere.com> wrote in message

news:59my8.3855$2l.316955@ozemail.com.au… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I hope he doesn’t take the "smoke something" or "pop something" suggestions. > Such a person shouldn’t waste their life on that shit. > Demon. > "Sanguine" <sang…@wentwest.com> wrote in message > news:aacqld$9thku$1@ID-138549.news.dfncis.de… > > Merci mon amore. > > *However* I wouldn’t get off my meds if I thought they were still vital. > > Sleep is vital! You need it. You’re sick, miserable, self loathing, and > > not too much fun too hang out with, when you don’t get the sleep you need. > > So I still say, "Whatever it takes!" If that means smokin’ a joint or > > slammin’ down a shot or two then do it. You can’t thrive…..WE can’t > > thrive with you on the brink all the time. I will say that you’ve done an > > incredible job handling everything considering your physical and mental > > stress. It’s just like you to prove your strength in such extreme ways. > > > Drink something. Pop something or smoke something. I worry. > > I love you and I know you will never take any of my suggestions. > > moh > > Placid Fury <so…@nope.net> wrote in message > > news:ucjhgallhq1vab@corp.supernews.com… > > > Sheesh… this after you rag on me for not wanting to take any > > > medication? Read that in a playful voice, my love… I just find it > > ironic. > > > > > > So everyone else in the group knows what the hell I’m talking about, > I > > > don’t like to take medication for sleeping at all, I don’t like to take > > > anything to help me through the day… I don’t even like to take > > painkillers > > > for migraines (I just suffer through them… bothers Ang to no end). Ang > > was > > > once the pharmacy’s foremost advocate… > > > I’m with you on the decision, MOH, whatever it may be and whatever > > > happens because of it… > > > Love ya, > > > MOH > > > Sanguine <sang…@wentwest.com> wrote in message > > > news:aabmjc$96hvc$1@ID-138549.news.dfncis.de… > > > > I’m seriously considering stopping all of my meds. I don’t like being > > > > dependant on them, first and foremost. When I was first diagnosed > with > > > BPD > > > > and talked med options with my pdoc, he asked me what I felt was more > of > > > > hindrance to me at the time; anger or depression. I went with anger. > > > > Considering my dislike of sexual side-effects, I chose against > > > > anti-depressants and went with lithium. The lithium has cause > > > > hypothyroidism. I’ve come to realize a few things about my anger and > > > > medicating it. I wasn’t really medicating a feeling. I was > medicating > > a > > > > situation. I was living in total frustration due to a lack in > > resources, > > > > backlash from my ex’s rejection of the kids, fighting crisis after > > crisis > > > > everyday….some were self created crisis so I could feel justified in > > > > yelling "HELP" but most were just your plain old single mom, with very > > > > little income, trying to feed her kids kind of crisis. With my > > > frustrations > > > > always peaked, my angry outbursts were right there with it. It’s that > > > (the > > > > rock is just too heavy" thing I talk about all the time. Well, all of > > the > > > > sudden my load was lightened. I got married. I got support; > financial, > > > > spiritual, emotional and all the rest. I have not had an "episode" > > since > > > > January 13th, my wedding day. Placid may disagree but bless his > heart, > > > he’s > > > > never seen one of my episodes. So, if the reason for taking the > lithium > > > is > > > > no longer there, wouldn’t it be logical to consider weaning off of it? > > I > > > > was also diagnosed with major depression. The lithium is used to help > > > > stabilize that too. I do still get depressed but nothing compared to > > > before > > > > and when I am, the duration is shorter. And then there’s the > > > consideration > > > > that the depression is caused by Fybromyalgia/CFS. When I sleep all > the > > > > time am I depressed or is it the CFS? Or dies the CFS cause the > > > depression? > > > > Which ever the case may be and I think it may be both, the causes of > my > > > > depression are not the same as they were. I was also diagnosed ADD. > > For > > > > this I was prescribed Adderall. I call it my happy drug. It makes me > > > feel > > > > "lighter" and very much more awake. It *is* an amphetamine so no > > > surprise. > > > > The generic they have me on now is crap. I’m back to hyperfocusing on > > > > everything. Been up all night doing things I just don’t think can > wait > > > > until tomorrow. And God forbid anyone interrupt me. If one of the > kids > > > > were to come in right now and ask for my attention, I’d feel like I’d > > been > > > > shocked with a volt of electricity. Placid is very patient with me > but > > I > > > > can tell that my inability to stay tuned in or to tune in to something > > > apart > > > > from what I’m doing is getting on his nerves a bit. It’s funny (well > no > > > not > > > > really) but years back, my ex introduced me to crank. I’d never done > a > > > drug > > > > in my life. I tried it, thinking I’d make him feel horrible for > > > introducing > > > > his wife to illegal drugs (God, how stupid!). All of the sudden I was > > > > awake, my house got clean, I lost weight and I was being nice to my > > > > children. I only did enough to keep me feeling and acting like I > wanted > > > to. > > > > I guess you can say I used it as a medication. It’s pretty sad when > > your > > > > children like you better when you’re on drugs. I never became > addicted > > > and > > > > one day when I saw this lady in another apartment who was a full blown > > > > tweaker joansin’ for a fix, I said that was it. Didn’t want to even > > > chance > > > > it. Yeah, I know, I’d been chancin’ it all along. The point is, I > > don’t > > > > want to have to take amphetamines for the rest of my life to feel > > normal. > > > I > > > > wonder if the abnormality is because of the thyroid and cfs stuff. Oh > I > > > > dunno. I’m just tired of all these pill bottles around my house and I > > > don’t > > > > want to raise my kids thinking meds are our way of life. Gotta wake > up > > > the > > > > boy for school and then head to the laundry mat. Yuck! > > > > Love, > > > > Ang

Response:

You should talk about it with your doc before stopping them. Maybe you don’t feel they are doing anything (like I did with the effexor) but when you stop… whoa its not good. Just take it easy. Demon. "Sanguine" <sang…@wentwest.com> wrote in message

Response:

I hope he doesn’t take the "smoke something" or "pop something" suggestions. Such a person shouldn’t waste their life on that shit. Demon. "Sanguine" <sang…@wentwest.com> wrote in message

news:aacqld$9thku$1@ID-138549.news.dfncis.de… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Merci mon amore. > *However* I wouldn’t get off my meds if I thought they were still vital. > Sleep is vital! You need it. You’re sick, miserable, self loathing, and > not too much fun too hang out with, when you don’t get the sleep you need. > So I still say, "Whatever it takes!" If that means smokin’ a joint or > slammin’ down a shot or two then do it. You can’t thrive…..WE can’t > thrive with you on the brink all the time. I will say that you’ve done an > incredible job handling everything considering your physical and mental > stress. It’s just like you to prove your strength in such extreme ways. > Drink something. Pop something or smoke something. I worry. > I love you and I know you will never take any of my suggestions. > moh > Placid Fury <so…@nope.net> wrote in message > news:ucjhgallhq1vab@corp.supernews.com… > > Sheesh… this after you rag on me for not wanting to take any > > medication? Read that in a playful voice, my love… I just find it > ironic. > > > > So everyone else in the group knows what the hell I’m talking about, I > > don’t like to take medication for sleeping at all, I don’t like to take > > anything to help me through the day… I don’t even like to take > painkillers > > for migraines (I just suffer through them… bothers Ang to no end). Ang > was > > once the pharmacy’s foremost advocate… > > I’m with you on the decision, MOH, whatever it may be and whatever > > happens because of it… > > Love ya, > > MOH > > Sanguine <sang…@wentwest.com> wrote in message > > news:aabmjc$96hvc$1@ID-138549.news.dfncis.de… > > > I’m seriously considering stopping all of my meds. I don’t like being > > > dependant on them, first and foremost. When I was first diagnosed with > > BPD > > > and talked med options with my pdoc, he asked me what I felt was more of > > > hindrance to me at the time; anger or depression. I went with anger. > > > Considering my dislike of sexual side-effects, I chose against > > > anti-depressants and went with lithium. The lithium has cause > > > hypothyroidism. I’ve come to realize a few things about my anger and > > > medicating it. I wasn’t really medicating a feeling. I was medicating > a > > > situation. I was living in total frustration due to a lack in > resources, > > > backlash from my ex’s rejection of the kids, fighting crisis after > crisis > > > everyday….some were self created crisis so I could feel justified in > > > yelling "HELP" but most were just your plain old single mom, with very > > > little income, trying to feed her kids kind of crisis. With my > > frustrations > > > always peaked, my angry outbursts were right there with it. It’s that > > (the > > > rock is just too heavy" thing I talk about all the time. Well, all of > the > > > sudden my load was lightened. I got married. I got support; financial, > > > spiritual, emotional and all the rest. I have not had an "episode" > since > > > January 13th, my wedding day. Placid may disagree but bless his heart, > > he’s > > > never seen one of my episodes. So, if the reason for taking the lithium > > is > > > no longer there, wouldn’t it be logical to consider weaning off of it? > I > > > was also diagnosed with major depression. The lithium is used to help > > > stabilize that too. I do still get depressed but nothing compared to > > before > > > and when I am, the duration is shorter. And then there’s the > > consideration > > > that the depression is caused by Fybromyalgia/CFS. When I sleep all the > > > time am I depressed or is it the CFS? Or dies the CFS cause the > > depression? > > > Which ever the case may be and I think it may be both, the causes of my > > > depression are not the same as they were. I was also diagnosed ADD. > For > > > this I was prescribed Adderall. I call it my happy drug. It makes me > > feel > > > "lighter" and very much more awake. It *is* an amphetamine so no > > surprise. > > > The generic they have me on now is crap. I’m back to hyperfocusing on > > > everything. Been up all night doing things I just don’t think can wait > > > until tomorrow. And God forbid anyone interrupt me. If one of the kids > > > were to come in right now and ask for my attention, I’d feel like I’d > been > > > shocked with a volt of electricity. Placid is very patient with me but > I > > > can tell that my inability to stay tuned in or to tune in to something > > apart > > > from what I’m doing is getting on his nerves a bit. It’s funny (well no > > not > > > really) but years back, my ex introduced me to crank. I’d never done a > > drug > > > in my life. I tried it, thinking I’d make him feel horrible for > > introducing > > > his wife to illegal drugs (God, how stupid!). All of the sudden I was > > > awake, my house got clean, I lost weight and I was being nice to my > > > children. I only did enough to keep me feeling and acting like I wanted > > to. > > > I guess you can say I used it as a medication. It’s pretty sad when > your > > > children like you better when you’re on drugs. I never became addicted > > and > > > one day when I saw this lady in another apartment who was a full blown > > > tweaker joansin’ for a fix, I said that was it. Didn’t want to even > > chance > > > it. Yeah, I know, I’d been chancin’ it all along. The point is, I > don’t > > > want to have to take amphetamines for the rest of my life to feel > normal. > > I > > > wonder if the abnormality is because of the thyroid and cfs stuff. Oh I > > > dunno. I’m just tired of all these pill bottles around my house and I > > don’t > > > want to raise my kids thinking meds are our way of life. Gotta wake up > > the > > > boy for school and then head to the laundry mat. Yuck! > > > Love, > > > Ang

Response:

Merci mon amore. *However* I wouldn’t get off my meds if I thought they were still vital. Sleep is vital! You need it. You’re sick, miserable, self loathing, and not too much fun too hang out with, when you don’t get the sleep you need. So I still say, "Whatever it takes!" If that means smokin’ a joint or slammin’ down a shot or two then do it. You can’t thrive…..WE can’t thrive with you on the brink all the time. I will say that you’ve done an incredible job handling everything considering your physical and mental stress. It’s just like you to prove your strength in such extreme ways. Drink something. Pop something or smoke something. I worry. I love you and I know you will never take any of my suggestions. moh Placid Fury <so…@nope.net> wrote in message

news:ucjhgallhq1vab@corp.supernews.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Sheesh… this after you rag on me for not wanting to take any > medication? Read that in a playful voice, my love… I just find it ironic. > > So everyone else in the group knows what the hell I’m talking about, I > don’t like to take medication for sleeping at all, I don’t like to take > anything to help me through the day… I don’t even like to take painkillers > for migraines (I just suffer through them… bothers Ang to no end). Ang was > once the pharmacy’s foremost advocate… > I’m with you on the decision, MOH, whatever it may be and whatever > happens because of it… > Love ya, > MOH > Sanguine <sang…@wentwest.com> wrote in message > news:aabmjc$96hvc$1@ID-138549.news.dfncis.de… > > I’m seriously considering stopping all of my meds. I don’t like being > > dependant on them, first and foremost. When I was first diagnosed with > BPD > > and talked med options with my pdoc, he asked me what I felt was more of > > hindrance to me at the time; anger or depression. I went with anger. > > Considering my dislike of sexual side-effects, I chose against > > anti-depressants and went with lithium. The lithium has cause > > hypothyroidism. I’ve come to realize a few things about my anger and > > medicating it. I wasn’t really medicating a feeling. I was medicating a > > situation. I was living in total frustration due to a lack in resources, > > backlash from my ex’s rejection of the kids, fighting crisis after crisis > > everyday….some were self created crisis so I could feel justified in > > yelling "HELP" but most were just your plain old single mom, with very > > little income, trying to feed her kids kind of crisis. With my > frustrations > > always peaked, my angry outbursts were right there with it. It’s that > (the > > rock is just too heavy" thing I talk about all the time. Well, all of the > > sudden my load was lightened. I got married. I got support; financial, > > spiritual, emotional and all the rest. I have not had an "episode" since > > January 13th, my wedding day. Placid may disagree but bless his heart, > he’s > > never seen one of my episodes. So, if the reason for taking the lithium > is > > no longer there, wouldn’t it be logical to consider weaning off of it? I > > was also diagnosed with major depression. The lithium is used to help > > stabilize that too. I do still get depressed but nothing compared to > before > > and when I am, the duration is shorter. And then there’s the > consideration > > that the depression is caused by Fybromyalgia/CFS. When I sleep all the > > time am I depressed or is it the CFS? Or dies the CFS cause the > depression? > > Which ever the case may be and I think it may be both, the causes of my > > depression are not the same as they were. I was also diagnosed ADD. For > > this I was prescribed Adderall. I call it my happy drug. It makes me > feel > > "lighter" and very much more awake. It *is* an amphetamine so no > surprise. > > The generic they have me on now is crap. I’m back to hyperfocusing on > > everything. Been up all night doing things I just don’t think can wait > > until tomorrow. And God forbid anyone interrupt me. If one of the kids > > were to come in right now and ask for my attention, I’d feel like I’d been > > shocked with a volt of electricity. Placid is very patient with me but I > > can tell that my inability to stay tuned in or to tune in to something > apart > > from what I’m doing is getting on his nerves a bit. It’s funny (well no > not > > really) but years back, my ex introduced me to crank. I’d never done a > drug > > in my life. I tried it, thinking I’d make him feel horrible for > introducing > > his wife to illegal drugs (God, how stupid!). All of the sudden I was > > awake, my house got clean, I lost weight and I was being nice to my > > children. I only did enough to keep me feeling and acting like I wanted > to. > > I guess you can say I used it as a medication. It’s pretty sad when your > > children like you better when you’re on drugs. I never became addicted > and > > one day when I saw this lady in another apartment who was a full blown > > tweaker joansin’ for a fix, I said that was it. Didn’t want to even > chance > > it. Yeah, I know, I’d been chancin’ it all along. The point is, I don’t > > want to have to take amphetamines for the rest of my life to feel normal. > I > > wonder if the abnormality is because of the thyroid and cfs stuff. Oh I > > dunno. I’m just tired of all these pill bottles around my house and I > don’t > > want to raise my kids thinking meds are our way of life. Gotta wake up > the > > boy for school and then head to the laundry mat. Yuck! > > Love, > > Ang

Response:

What is "MOH"? On Fri, 26 Apr 2002 14:25:43 -0700, "Placid Fury" <so…@nope.net> wrote: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Sheesh… this after you rag on me for not wanting to take any >medication? Read that in a playful voice, my love… I just find it ironic. >:-) > So everyone else in the group knows what the hell I’m talking about, I >don’t like to take medication for sleeping at all, I don’t like to take >anything to help me through the day… I don’t even like to take painkillers >for migraines (I just suffer through them… bothers Ang to no end). Ang was >once the pharmacy’s foremost advocate… > I’m with you on the decision, MOH, whatever it may be and whatever >happens because of it… > Love ya, > MOH >Sanguine <sang…@wentwest.com> wrote in message >news:aabmjc$96hvc$1@ID-138549.news.dfncis.de… >> I’m seriously considering stopping all of my meds. I don’t like being >> dependant on them, first and foremost. When I was first diagnosed with >BPD >> and talked med options with my pdoc, he asked me what I felt was more of >> hindrance to me at the time; anger or depression. I went with anger. >> Considering my dislike of sexual side-effects, I chose against >> anti-depressants and went with lithium. The lithium has cause >> hypothyroidism. I’ve come to realize a few things about my anger and >> medicating it. I wasn’t really medicating a feeling. I was medicating a >> situation. I was living in total frustration due to a lack in resources, >> backlash from my ex’s rejection of the kids, fighting crisis after crisis >> everyday….some were self created crisis so I could feel justified in >> yelling "HELP" but most were just your plain old single mom, with very >> little income, trying to feed her kids kind of crisis. With my >frustrations >> always peaked, my angry outbursts were right there with it. It’s that >(the >> rock is just too heavy" thing I talk about all the time. Well, all of the >> sudden my load was lightened. I got married. I got support; financial, >> spiritual, emotional and all the rest. I have not had an "episode" since >> January 13th, my wedding day. Placid may disagree but bless his heart, >he’s >> never seen one of my episodes. So, if the reason for taking the lithium >is >> no longer there, wouldn’t it be logical to consider weaning off of it? I >> was also diagnosed with major depression. The lithium is used to help >> stabilize that too. I do still get depressed but nothing compared to >before >> and when I am, the duration is shorter. And then there’s the >consideration >> that the depression is caused by Fybromyalgia/CFS. When I sleep all the >> time am I depressed or is it the CFS? Or dies the CFS cause the >depression? >> Which ever the case may be and I think it may be both, the causes of my >> depression are not the same as they were. I was also diagnosed ADD. For >> this I was prescribed Adderall. I call it my happy drug. It makes me >feel >> "lighter" and very much more awake. It *is* an amphetamine so no >surprise. >> The generic they have me on now is crap. I’m back to hyperfocusing on >> everything. Been up all night doing things I just don’t think can wait >> until tomorrow. And God forbid anyone interrupt me. If one of the kids >> were to come in right now and ask for my attention, I’d feel like I’d been >> shocked with a volt of electricity. Placid is very patient with me but I >> can tell that my inability to stay tuned in or to tune in to something >apart >> from what I’m doing is getting on his nerves a bit. It’s funny (well no >not >> really) but years back, my ex introduced me to crank. I’d never done a >drug >> in my life. I tried it, thinking I’d make him feel horrible for >introducing >> his wife to illegal drugs (God, how stupid!). All of the sudden I was >> awake, my house got clean, I lost weight and I was being nice to my >> children. I only did enough to keep me feeling and acting like I wanted >to. >> I guess you can say I used it as a medication. It’s pretty sad when your >> children like you better when you’re on drugs. I never became addicted >and >> one day when I saw this lady in another apartment who was a full blown >> tweaker joansin’ for a fix, I said that was it. Didn’t want to even >chance >> it. Yeah, I know, I’d been chancin’ it all along. The point is, I don’t >> want to have to take amphetamines for the rest of my life to feel normal. >I >> wonder if the abnormality is because of the thyroid and cfs stuff. Oh I >> dunno. I’m just tired of all these pill bottles around my house and I >don’t >> want to raise my kids thinking meds are our way of life. Gotta wake up >the >> boy for school and then head to the laundry mat. Yuck! >> Love, >> Ang

Response:

smooch Deb On Fri, 26 Apr 2002 08:29:08 -0700, "Sanguine" <sang…@wentwest.com> wrote: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->well of course. >but only because you said please. >Love, >Ang >Loon Atick <nom…@bullshit.com> wrote in message >news:k8ricucf6ql1p9a9qivjvc2mt6ou4aag8j@4ax.com… >> Don’t do anything right away. Work with your doctors on this. Get >> your blood work back and find out what else could be going on. >> Please? >> Love, Deb >> On Fri, 26 Apr 2002 07:00:43 -0700, "Sanguine" <sang…@wentwest.com> >> wrote: >> >I’m seriously considering stopping all of my meds. I don’t like being >> >dependant on them, first and foremost. When I was first diagnosed with >BPD >> >and talked med options with my pdoc, he asked me what I felt was more of >> >hindrance to me at the time; anger or depression. I went with anger. >> >Considering my dislike of sexual side-effects, I chose against >> >anti-depressants and went with lithium. The lithium has cause >> >hypothyroidism. I’ve come to realize a few things about my anger and >> >medicating it. I wasn’t really medicating a feeling. I was medicating a >> >situation. I was living in total frustration due to a lack in resources, >> >backlash from my ex’s rejection of the kids, fighting crisis after crisis >> >everyday….some were self created crisis so I could feel justified in >> >yelling "HELP" but most were just your plain old single mom, with very >> >little income, trying to feed her kids kind of crisis. With my >frustrations >> >always peaked, my angry outbursts were right there with it. It’s that >(the >> >rock is just too heavy" thing I talk about all the time. Well, all of >the >> >sudden my load was lightened. I got married. I got support; financial, >> >spiritual, emotional and all the rest. I have not had an "episode" since >> >January 13th, my wedding day. Placid may disagree but bless his heart, >he’s >> >never seen one of my episodes. So, if the reason for taking the lithium >is >> >no longer there, wouldn’t it be logical to consider weaning off of it? I >> >was also diagnosed with major depression. The lithium is used to help >> >stabilize that too. I do still get depressed but nothing compared to >before >> >and when I am, the duration is shorter. And then there’s the >consideration >> >that the depression is caused by Fybromyalgia/CFS. When I sleep all the >> >time am I depressed or is it the CFS? Or dies the CFS cause the >depression? >> >Which ever the case may be and I think it may be both, the causes of my >> >depression are not the same as they were. I was also diagnosed ADD. For >> >this I was prescribed Adderall. I call it my happy drug. It makes me >feel >> >"lighter" and very much more awake. It *is* an amphetamine so no >surprise. >> >The generic they have me on now is crap. I’m back to hyperfocusing on >> >everything. Been up all night doing things I just don’t think can wait >> >until tomorrow. And God forbid anyone interrupt me. If one of the kids >> >were to come in right now and ask for my attention, I’d feel like I’d >been >> >shocked with a volt of electricity. Placid is very patient with me but I >> >can tell that my inability to stay tuned in or to tune in to something >apart >> >from what I’m doing is getting on his nerves a bit. It’s funny (well no >not >> >really) but years back, my ex introduced me to crank. I’d never done a >drug >> >in my life. I tried it, thinking I’d make him feel horrible for >introducing >> >his wife to illegal drugs (God, how stupid!). All of the sudden I was >> >awake, my house got clean, I lost weight and I was being nice to my >> >children. I only did enough to keep me feeling and acting like I wanted >to. >> >I guess you can say I used it as a medication. It’s pretty sad when your >> >children like you better when you’re on drugs. I never became addicted >and >> >one day when I saw this lady in another apartment who was a full blown >> >tweaker joansin’ for a fix, I said that was it. Didn’t want to even >chance >> >it. Yeah, I know, I’d been chancin’ it all along. The point is, I don’t >> >want to have to take amphetamines for the rest of my life to feel normal. >I >> >wonder if the abnormality is because of the thyroid and cfs stuff. Oh I >> >dunno. I’m just tired of all these pill bottles around my house and I >don’t >> >want to raise my kids thinking meds are our way of life. Gotta wake up >the >> >boy for school and then head to the laundry mat. Yuck! >> >Love, >> >Ang

Response:

Don’t do anything right away. Work with your doctors on this. Get your blood work back and find out what else could be going on. Please? Love, Deb On Fri, 26 Apr 2002 07:00:43 -0700, "Sanguine" <sang…@wentwest.com> wrote: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->I’m seriously considering stopping all of my meds. I don’t like being >dependant on them, first and foremost. When I was first diagnosed with BPD >and talked med options with my pdoc, he asked me what I felt was more of >hindrance to me at the time; anger or depression. I went with anger. >Considering my dislike of sexual side-effects, I chose against >anti-depressants and went with lithium. The lithium has cause >hypothyroidism. I’ve come to realize a few things about my anger and >medicating it. I wasn’t really medicating a feeling. I was medicating a >situation. I was living in total frustration due to a lack in resources, >backlash from my ex’s rejection of the kids, fighting crisis after crisis >everyday….some were self created crisis so I could feel justified in >yelling "HELP" but most were just your plain old single mom, with very >little income, trying to feed her kids kind of crisis. With my frustrations >always peaked, my angry outbursts were right there with it. It’s that (the >rock is just too heavy" thing I talk about all the time. Well, all of the >sudden my load was lightened. I got married. I got support; financial, >spiritual, emotional and all the rest. I have not had an "episode" since >January 13th, my wedding day. Placid may disagree but bless his heart, he’s >never seen one of my episodes. So, if the reason for taking the lithium is >no longer there, wouldn’t it be logical to consider weaning off of it? I >was also diagnosed with major depression. The lithium is used to help >stabilize that too. I do still get depressed but nothing compared to before >and when I am, the duration is shorter. And then there’s the consideration >that the depression is caused by Fybromyalgia/CFS. When I sleep all the >time am I depressed or is it the CFS? Or dies the CFS cause the depression? >Which ever the case may be and I think it may be both, the causes of my >depression are not the same as they were. I was also diagnosed ADD. For >this I was prescribed Adderall. I call it my happy drug. It makes me feel >"lighter" and very much more awake. It *is* an amphetamine so no surprise. >The generic they have me on now is crap. I’m back to hyperfocusing on >everything. Been up all night doing things I just don’t think can wait >until tomorrow. And God forbid anyone interrupt me. If one of the kids >were to come in right now and ask for my attention, I’d feel like I’d been >shocked with a volt of electricity. Placid is very patient with me but I >can tell that my inability to stay tuned in or to tune in to something apart >from what I’m doing is getting on his nerves a bit. It’s funny (well no not >really) but years back, my ex introduced me to crank. I’d never done a drug >in my life. I tried it, thinking I’d make him feel horrible for introducing >his wife to illegal drugs (God, how stupid!). All of the sudden I was >awake, my house got clean, I lost weight and I was being nice to my >children. I only did enough to keep me feeling and acting like I wanted to. >I guess you can say I used it as a medication. It’s pretty sad when your >children like you better when you’re on drugs. I never became addicted and >one day when I saw this lady in another apartment who was a full blown >tweaker joansin’ for a fix, I said that was it. Didn’t want to even chance >it. Yeah, I know, I’d been chancin’ it all along. The point is, I don’t >want to have to take amphetamines for the rest of my life to feel normal. I >wonder if the abnormality is because of the thyroid and cfs stuff. Oh I >dunno. I’m just tired of all these pill bottles around my house and I don’t >want to raise my kids thinking meds are our way of life. Gotta wake up the >boy for school and then head to the laundry mat. Yuck! >Love, >Ang

Response:

well of course. but only because you said please. Love, Ang Loon Atick <nom…@bullshit.com> wrote in message

news:k8ricucf6ql1p9a9qivjvc2mt6ou4aag8j@4ax.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Don’t do anything right away. Work with your doctors on this. Get > your blood work back and find out what else could be going on. > Please? > Love, Deb > On Fri, 26 Apr 2002 07:00:43 -0700, "Sanguine" <sang…@wentwest.com> > wrote: > >I’m seriously considering stopping all of my meds. I don’t like being > >dependant on them, first and foremost. When I was first diagnosed with BPD > >and talked med options with my pdoc, he asked me what I felt was more of > >hindrance to me at the time; anger or depression. I went with anger. > >Considering my dislike of sexual side-effects, I chose against > >anti-depressants and went with lithium. The lithium has cause > >hypothyroidism. I’ve come to realize a few things about my anger and > >medicating it. I wasn’t really medicating a feeling. I was medicating a > >situation. I was living in total frustration due to a lack in resources, > >backlash from my ex’s rejection of the kids, fighting crisis after crisis > >everyday….some were self created crisis so I could feel justified in > >yelling "HELP" but most were just your plain old single mom, with very > >little income, trying to feed her kids kind of crisis. With my frustrations > >always peaked, my angry outbursts were right there with it. It’s that (the > >rock is just too heavy" thing I talk about all the time. Well, all of the > >sudden my load was lightened. I got married. I got support; financial, > >spiritual, emotional and all the rest. I have not had an "episode" since > >January 13th, my wedding day. Placid may disagree but bless his heart, he’s > >never seen one of my episodes. So, if the reason for taking the lithium is > >no longer there, wouldn’t it be logical to consider weaning off of it? I > >was also diagnosed with major depression. The lithium is used to help > >stabilize that too. I do still get depressed but nothing compared to before > >and when I am, the duration is shorter. And then there’s the consideration > >that the depression is caused by Fybromyalgia/CFS. When I sleep all the > >time am I depressed or is it the CFS? Or dies the CFS cause the depression? > >Which ever the case may be and I think it may be both, the causes of my > >depression are not the same as they were. I was also diagnosed ADD. For > >this I was prescribed Adderall. I call it my happy drug. It makes me feel > >"lighter" and very much more awake. It *is* an amphetamine so no surprise. > >The generic they have me on now is crap. I’m back to hyperfocusing on > >everything. Been up all night doing things I just don’t think can wait > >until tomorrow. And God forbid anyone interrupt me. If one of the kids > >were to come in right now and ask for my attention, I’d feel like I’d been > >shocked with a volt of electricity. Placid is very patient with me but I > >can tell that my inability to stay tuned in or to tune in to something apart > >from what I’m doing is getting on his nerves a bit. It’s funny (well no not > >really) but years back, my ex introduced me to crank. I’d never done a drug > >in my life. I tried it, thinking I’d make him feel horrible for introducing > >his wife to illegal drugs (God, how stupid!). All of the sudden I was > >awake, my house got clean, I lost weight and I was being nice to my > >children. I only did enough to keep me feeling and acting like I wanted to. > >I guess you can say I used it as a medication. It’s pretty sad when your > >children like you better when you’re on drugs. I never became addicted and > >one day when I saw this lady in another apartment who was a full blown > >tweaker joansin’ for a fix, I said that was it. Didn’t want to even chance > >it. Yeah, I know, I’d been chancin’ it all along. The point is, I don’t > >want to have to take amphetamines for the rest of my life to feel normal. I > >wonder if the abnormality is because of the thyroid and cfs stuff. Oh I > >dunno. I’m just tired of all these pill bottles around my house and I don’t > >want to raise my kids thinking meds are our way of life. Gotta wake up the > >boy for school and then head to the laundry mat. Yuck! > >Love, > >Ang

Response:

I’m seriously considering stopping all of my meds. I don’t like being dependant on them, first and foremost. When I was first diagnosed with BPD and talked med options with my pdoc, he asked me what I felt was more of hindrance to me at the time; anger or depression. I went with anger. Considering my dislike of sexual side-effects, I chose against anti-depressants and went with lithium. The lithium has cause hypothyroidism. I’ve come to realize a few things about my anger and medicating it. I wasn’t really medicating a feeling. I was medicating a situation. I was living in total frustration due to a lack in resources, backlash from my ex’s rejection of the kids, fighting crisis after crisis everyday….some were self created crisis so I could feel justified in yelling "HELP" but most were just your plain old single mom, with very little income, trying to feed her kids kind of crisis. With my frustrations always peaked, my angry outbursts were right there with it. It’s that (the rock is just too heavy" thing I talk about all the time. Well, all of the sudden my load was lightened. I got married. I got support; financial, spiritual, emotional and all the rest. I have not had an "episode" since January 13th, my wedding day. Placid may disagree but bless his heart, he’s never seen one of my episodes. So, if the reason for taking the lithium is no longer there, wouldn’t it be logical to consider weaning off of it? I was also diagnosed with major depression. The lithium is used to help stabilize that too. I do still get depressed but nothing compared to before and when I am, the duration is shorter. And then there’s the consideration that the depression is caused by Fybromyalgia/CFS. When I sleep all the time am I depressed or is it the CFS? Or dies the CFS cause the depression? Which ever the case may be and I think it may be both, the causes of my depression are not the same as they were. I was also diagnosed ADD. For this I was prescribed Adderall. I call it my happy drug. It makes me feel "lighter" and very much more awake. It *is* an amphetamine so no surprise. The generic they have me on now is crap. I’m back to hyperfocusing on everything. Been up all night doing things I just don’t think can wait until tomorrow. And God forbid anyone interrupt me. If one of the kids were to come in right now and ask for my attention, I’d feel like I’d been shocked with a volt of electricity. Placid is very patient with me but I can tell that my inability to stay tuned in or to tune in to something apart from what I’m doing is getting on his nerves a bit. It’s funny (well no not really) but years back, my ex introduced me to crank. I’d never done a drug in my life. I tried it, thinking I’d make him feel horrible for introducing his wife to illegal drugs (God, how stupid!). All of the sudden I was awake, my house got clean, I lost weight and I was being nice to my children. I only did enough to keep me feeling and acting like I wanted to. I guess you can say I used it as a medication. It’s pretty sad when your children like you better when you’re on drugs. I never became addicted and one day when I saw this lady in another apartment who was a full blown tweaker joansin’ for a fix, I said that was it. Didn’t want to even chance it. Yeah, I know, I’d been chancin’ it all along. The point is, I don’t want to have to take amphetamines for the rest of my life to feel normal. I wonder if the abnormality is because of the thyroid and cfs stuff. Oh I dunno. I’m just tired of all these pill bottles around my house and I don’t want to raise my kids thinking meds are our way of life. Gotta wake up the boy for school and then head to the laundry mat. Yuck! Love, Ang

Response:

Permalink
In: Acting School

You online HQ for everything ACTING

Home

Act Acting

No more meds

Question:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Response:

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Recent Posts

Categories

Popular Posts