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OT Sorry

Question:

"Marilee" <mae…@polarcomm.com> wrote in message

news:b9c81h$i0r2a$1@ID-76373.news.dfncis.de… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Susan Fein <suf…@aol.comnospam> wrote in message > news:20030507182539.18775.00000487@mb-m11.aol.com… > > x-no-archive: yes > > In article <Cyfua.73414$cO3.4814…@bgtnsc04-news.ops.worldnet.att.net>, > "Eva" > > <EvaDStru…@NOatt.net> writes: > > Susan <once overheard her child tell a friend, "It’s okay to say shit and > fuck > > in my house, but you can’t say shut up because it’s rude, or crap because > my > > mom thinks it’s vulgar> > I giggled for 3 minutes by the clock when I read this.

I also enjoyed this! > I was renting videos for our family’s viewing enjoyment once many years ago > when the kids were still at home, and was carefully trying to choose the > appropriate one for everyone’s mood.  To the clerk I queried/remarked, "Is > this PG-13 because of violence or because of adult content?  I can have > blood and gore, but I can’t have sex." > She gave me a very strange look…..

LOL! Gwen – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Marilee

Response:

On Wed, 7 May 2003 18:20:12 -0500, "gs" <gs2152nos…@charter.net> wrote: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->I had to look up both smug and know-it-all. I’ve only had one other person >say this to me, my brother used different words, but I guess more people >think this of me. >My therapist says he’s never run into anyone else but me that has been able >to put up such a wall, and maintain it for years, to keep people out. (He >didn’t say I was a smug know-it-all, though!). He said I had an >overdeveloped coping skill of survival. I pay him to be nice to me. <g> > I do know that I always tried to be *perfect*. I couldn’t make a mistake. >Which is ridiculous because I’ve never thought I did anything right. >I was hurt when I first read you thought I was a smug know-it-all. Now, I’m >not sure what I think. >In reality, I’m a extremely insecure person…uncomfortable in all >situations. It takes me forever to compose a post and then I am so nervous >about what someone will think. Did I spell something wrong, use improper >grammar, say something so totally stupid that everyone will know I’m an >idiot, did I understand what I was replying too?, did I read the >study/article correctly?, was I able to say what I meant?, and so on. >Then you add on top of all that, the fact that I never know if I’m reacting >(or acting) normally or is how I’m feeling due to my past. Triggers & >flashbacks are hard for me to deal with because I don’t think I should have >them anymore. I have a hard time with realizing they are normal, and will be >with me forever, and not a sign of failure. >I don’t hold anyone but myself to my standards. I’m very compassionate, >understanding, forgiving and tolerant of others. (dangerously so)  I have a >huge problem with trying to be peacemaker. >Talking (posting) here is easier for me than in real life, though. I hardly >say anything, even when I’m around people I’ve known for years. In person, I >have the added insecurity of how I look, (not as in beautiful, but dressed >right, hair right type) and wondering if people will like me. >I’m a mess. I’m a better mess than I used to be. >Gwen

Ah, Gwen.  It’s okay to be a mess.  I’m a mess.  In one way or another, everyone is a mess (I subscribe to the "I’m dysfunctional, you’re dysfunctional, and it’s all okay" school of thought.)   And the reality is……that you’re probably not as much of a mess as you think you are. Please ease up on yourself.   You’re not at all a failure.  You’re a fine human being.  I sincerely hope that, in time, you will come to believe that for yourself. You are in my thoughts and prayers, Cathering

Response:

"gs" <gs2152nos…@charter.net> wrote in news:vbj56fg019sbe5@corp.supernews.com: > I’m a mess. I’m a better mess than I used to be.

If you can say that, you’re doing okay.  BTW, I never noticed any smugness in your posts, but I did notice that you’re very careful with what you say and how you say it.  Nice. Chakolate

Response:

>From: "gs" gs2152nos…@charter.net >It takes me forever to compose a post and then I am so nervous >about what someone will think. Did I spell something wrong, use improper >grammar, say something so totally stupid that everyone will know I’m an >idiot, did I understand what I was replying too?, did I read the >study/article correctly?, was I able to say what I meant?, and so on.

WOW, I should take lessons from you, maybe I wouldn’t piss so many people off around here… <G> r>I’m a mess. I’m a better mess than I used to be. I like this. I understand this. I could say this. :) AneeBear "The American press is all about lies! All they tell is lies, lies and more lies!" Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf, Iraqi Minister of Information (currently on administrative leave).

Response:

"Marilee" <mae…@polarcomm.com> wrote in message

news:b9c92j$hi273$1@ID-76373.news.dfncis.de… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> gs <gs2152nos…@charter.net> wrote in message > news:vbj56fg019sbe5@corp.supernews.com… > > "Eva" <EvaDStru…@NOatt.net> wrote in message > > news:Cyfua.73414$cO3.4814095@bgtnsc04-news.ops.worldnet.att.net… > > > "gs" <gs2152nos…@charter.net> wrote in message > > > news:vbipfn6ekakhdc@corp.supernews.com… > > > > > > > snipped<<<<<<<<< > > > > > >> >> > Talking (posting) here is easier for me than in real life, though. I > hardly > > say anything, even when I’m around people I’ve known for years. In person, > I > > have the added insecurity of how I look, (not as in beautiful, but dressed > > right, hair right type) and wondering if people will like me. > > I’m a mess. I’m a better mess than I used to be. > That’s good.  :) > Seriously, Gwen, there have been many, many times when I’ve had to remind > myself that you have a whole lot of stuff that you’re working to overcome, > because you usually sound very confident and sure of yourself.  I admire you > because you sometimes dare to say the hard stuff–stuff that I chicken out > of saying, and you still manage to maintain a level of friendliness with > everyone here.  There’ve been a few times when I thought you were -arguing-, > and I found out you were merely -discussing-, which has taught me to really > examine your posts; there’s never any actual hostility in them.  Never.

I hope there’s never hostility in my posts, unless that is my intention. It hasn’t been yet, but you never know. <g> I try hard to keep my feelings (due to my past) out of them, so I try to stick to facts. I try to put it in my posts when it is based on my own feelings or experiences. One thing I have found that I’m good at and enjoy is finding facts. I’ve only run across a few people anywhere, that I don’t like at all. I often can find something to like about most of them. (gee, sounds like Saint Gwen, doesn’t it?) > I’m glad I know you.  I hope you feel better soon.

Thanks. I was upset with myself for posting about not doing so well. I was so worried about the reaction. (I don’t know how to cancel a post) It really hasn’t been too bad. Letting a little bit out, has helped. Gwen – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Marilee > > Gwen > > > Anyhow, I know how it feels to be in the situation you describe above, > and > > I > > > hope something breaks for you soon.  Keep breathing and you will not > > drown. > > > Keep putting one foot in front of the other and you will get through. > > Keep > > > telling yourself that.  One breath after the other.  One step after the > > > other.  One day at a time, one hour at a time, or one minute at a time > if > > > necessary.  Hang on. > > > Eva > > > P.S.  I was the one who said she disliked the expression "(he, she, or > it) > > > sucks."  It was a passing remark and meant absolutely nothing, and I > > > probably use more profanity in my daily conversation than anyone else > > here.

Response:

gs <gs2152nos…@charter.net> wrote in message

news:vbjari11ud7s1c@corp.supernews.com… > I was upset with myself for posting about not doing so well. I was so > worried about the reaction. (I don’t know how to cancel a post)

I think all you do (but you have to do it really fast), is (you use OE 6, right?) highlight the message you want cancelled, then go to the menu at the top and click on Message, then Cancel.  It won’t erase it from another’s computer if they’ve already downloaded it, but it will prevent any others from seeing it (unless it’s already been replied to, in which case you’re already screwed). :) Marilee – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> It really hasn’t been too bad. Letting a little bit out, has helped. > Gwen

Response:

"gs" <gs2152nos…@charter.net> wrote in message

news:vbj56fg019sbe5@corp.supernews.com… > I had to look up both smug and know-it-all. I’ve only had one other person > say this to me, my brother used different words, but I guess more people > think this of me. > My therapist says he’s never run into anyone else but me that has been able > to put up such a wall, and maintain it for years, to keep people out. (He > didn’t say I was a smug know-it-all, though!). He said I had an > overdeveloped coping skill of survival. I pay him to be nice to me. <g>

I think you’ve just put a door in that wall with a welcome mat outside :-) — Shirley see my cats at http://communities.msn.co.uk/Friendsfamilyandfelines2 http://uk.msnusers.com/friendsfamilyandfelines3

Response:

gs <gs2152nos…@charter.net> wrote in message

news:vbj56fg019sbe5@corp.supernews.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> "Eva" <EvaDStru…@NOatt.net> wrote in message > news:Cyfua.73414$cO3.4814095@bgtnsc04-news.ops.worldnet.att.net… > > "gs" <gs2152nos…@charter.net> wrote in message > > news:vbipfn6ekakhdc@corp.supernews.com… > > > I just feel like I’m drowning and the harder I try to save myself…the > > > deeper I sink. > > ————– > > Boy, I have to say, you are hard to figure out, Gwen.  In many of your > posts > > you sound like such a smug know-it-all, and then you say something > desperate > > like this. > I had to look up both smug and know-it-all. I’ve only had one other person > say this to me, my brother used different words, but I guess more people > think this of me.

Your newsgroup persona sounds so confident, and you really know a lot about many different maladies. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> My therapist says he’s never run into anyone else but me that has been able > to put up such a wall, and maintain it for years, to keep people out. (He > didn’t say I was a smug know-it-all, though!). He said I had an > overdeveloped coping skill of survival. I pay him to be nice to me. <g> >  I do know that I always tried to be *perfect*. I couldn’t make a mistake. > Which is ridiculous because I’ve never thought I did anything right. > I was hurt when I first read you thought I was a smug know-it-all. Now, I’m > not sure what I think. > In reality, I’m a extremely insecure person…uncomfortable in all > situations. It takes me forever to compose a post and then I am so nervous > about what someone will think. Did I spell something wrong, use improper > grammar, say something so totally stupid that everyone will know I’m an > idiot, did I understand what I was replying too?, did I read the > study/article correctly?, was I able to say what I meant?, and so on. > Then you add on top of all that, the fact that I never know if I’m reacting > (or acting) normally or is how I’m feeling due to my past. Triggers & > flashbacks are hard for me to deal with because I don’t think I should have > them anymore. I have a hard time with realizing they are normal, and will be > with me forever, and not a sign of failure. > I don’t hold anyone but myself to my standards. I’m very compassionate, > understanding, forgiving and tolerant of others. (dangerously so)  I have a > huge problem with trying to be peacemaker. > Talking (posting) here is easier for me than in real life, though. I hardly > say anything, even when I’m around people I’ve known for years. In person, I > have the added insecurity of how I look, (not as in beautiful, but dressed > right, hair right type) and wondering if people will like me. > I’m a mess. I’m a better mess than I used to be.

That’s good.  :) Seriously, Gwen, there have been many, many times when I’ve had to remind myself that you have a whole lot of stuff that you’re working to overcome, because you usually sound very confident and sure of yourself.  I admire you because you sometimes dare to say the hard stuff–stuff that I chicken out of saying, and you still manage to maintain a level of friendliness with everyone here.  There’ve been a few times when I thought you were -arguing-, and I found out you were merely -discussing-, which has taught me to really examine your posts; there’s never any actual hostility in them.  Never. I’m glad I know you.  I hope you feel better soon. Marilee – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Gwen > > Anyhow, I know how it feels to be in the situation you describe above, and > I > > hope something breaks for you soon.  Keep breathing and you will not > drown. > > Keep putting one foot in front of the other and you will get through. > Keep > > telling yourself that.  One breath after the other.  One step after the > > other.  One day at a time, one hour at a time, or one minute at a time if > > necessary.  Hang on. > > Eva > > P.S.  I was the one who said she disliked the expression "(he, she, or it) > > sucks."  It was a passing remark and meant absolutely nothing, and I > > probably use more profanity in my daily conversation than anyone else > here.

Response:

"Chakolate" <chakolateDeathToSpamm…@hotmail.com> wrote in message

news:Xns9374ABED8BFC4chakolatehotmailcom@128.248.7.54… > "gs" <gs2152nos…@charter.net> wrote in > news:vbipfn6ekakhdc@corp.supernews.com: > > I just feel like I’m drowning and the harder I try to save myself…the > > deeper I sink. > Can we help?

Maybe later. I’m not depressed (although it is heading there). I keep telling myself that I’ve been through worse and managed to come out the other side…I won’t give in now. Gwen – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Chak

Response:

>From: "gs" gs2152nos…@charter.net >Date: 5/7/03 4:20 PM Pacific Daylight Time >Then you add on top of all that, the fact that I never know if I’m reacting >(or acting) normally or is how I’m feeling due to my past. Triggers & >flashbacks are hard for me to deal with because I don’t think I should have >them anymore.

Then maybe you can understand that I feel the same way,Gwen. >I have a hard time with realizing they are normal, and will be >with me forever, and not a sign of failure.

Same here. >I’m a mess. I’m a better mess than I used to be.

Same. I’m sorry you feel such a mess. I’ve felt very much so recently with the problem with my local friend and now with Priscilla. so I guess maybe you can empathize. Sharon…………A warm toll-house cookie is an experience not unlike a religious epiphany.

Response:

gs wrote:

   It takes me forever to compose a post and then I am so nervous  > about what someone will think. Did I spell something wrong, use  > improper grammar, say something so totally stupid that everyone will  > know I’m an idiot, did I understand what I was replying too?, did I  > read the study/article correctly?, was I able to say what I meant?,  > and so on. This sounds very much like me. I worry about what I post, will it make sense to others or will I sound like an idiot. I have never had a problem with your posts and am surprised about how you feel. I always thought you were very together and able to express yourself well.  > I’m a mess. I’m a better mess than I used to be. Well, mess or not, I enjoy your being on a.s.m.. I hope that with time you will feel less of a mess. sue

Response:

Susan Fein <suf…@aol.comnospam> wrote in message

news:20030507182539.18775.00000487@mb-m11.aol.com… > x-no-archive: yes > In article <Cyfua.73414$cO3.4814…@bgtnsc04-news.ops.worldnet.att.net>, "Eva" > <EvaDStru…@NOatt.net> writes: > Susan <once overheard her child tell a friend, "It’s okay to say shit and fuck > in my house, but you can’t say shut up because it’s rude, or crap because my > mom thinks it’s vulgar>

I giggled for 3 minutes by the clock when I read this. I was renting videos for our family’s viewing enjoyment once many years ago when the kids were still at home, and was carefully trying to choose the appropriate one for everyone’s mood.  To the clerk I queried/remarked, "Is this PG-13 because of violence or because of adult content?  I can have blood and gore, but I can’t have sex." She gave me a very strange look….. Marilee

Response:

"gs" <gs2152nos…@charter.net> wrote in news:vbipfn6ekakhdc@corp.supernews.com: > I just feel like I’m drowning and the harder I try to save myself…the > deeper I sink.

Can we help?   Chak

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Susan Fein wrote: > x-no-archive: yes > In article <Cyfua.73414$cO3.4814…@bgtnsc04-news.ops.worldnet.att.net>, "Eva" > <EvaDStru…@NOatt.net> writes: > >I > >probably use more profanity in my daily conversation than anyone else here. > Uh, I’m not boasting or *proud* of it, but I guarantee you you’re at least a > distant second to me in that respect. > My poor kid never got to learn bad words on the playground like the other kids. > Susan <once overheard her child tell a friend, "It’s okay to say shit and fuck > in my house, but you can’t say shut up because it’s rude, or crap because my > mom thinks it’s vulgar>

Hilarious!

Response:

"Eva" <EvaDStru…@NOatt.net> wrote in message

news:Cyfua.73414$cO3.4814095@bgtnsc04-news.ops.worldnet.att.net… > "gs" <gs2152nos…@charter.net> wrote in message > news:vbipfn6ekakhdc@corp.supernews.com… > > I just feel like I’m drowning and the harder I try to save myself…the > > deeper I sink. > ————– > Boy, I have to say, you are hard to figure out, Gwen.  In many of your posts > you sound like such a smug know-it-all, and then you say something desperate > like this.

I had to look up both smug and know-it-all. I’ve only had one other person say this to me, my brother used different words, but I guess more people think this of me. My therapist says he’s never run into anyone else but me that has been able to put up such a wall, and maintain it for years, to keep people out. (He didn’t say I was a smug know-it-all, though!). He said I had an overdeveloped coping skill of survival. I pay him to be nice to me. <g>  I do know that I always tried to be *perfect*. I couldn’t make a mistake. Which is ridiculous because I’ve never thought I did anything right. I was hurt when I first read you thought I was a smug know-it-all. Now, I’m not sure what I think. In reality, I’m a extremely insecure person…uncomfortable in all situations. It takes me forever to compose a post and then I am so nervous about what someone will think. Did I spell something wrong, use improper grammar, say something so totally stupid that everyone will know I’m an idiot, did I understand what I was replying too?, did I read the study/article correctly?, was I able to say what I meant?, and so on. Then you add on top of all that, the fact that I never know if I’m reacting (or acting) normally or is how I’m feeling due to my past. Triggers & flashbacks are hard for me to deal with because I don’t think I should have them anymore. I have a hard time with realizing they are normal, and will be with me forever, and not a sign of failure. I don’t hold anyone but myself to my standards. I’m very compassionate, understanding, forgiving and tolerant of others. (dangerously so)  I have a huge problem with trying to be peacemaker. Talking (posting) here is easier for me than in real life, though. I hardly say anything, even when I’m around people I’ve known for years. In person, I have the added insecurity of how I look, (not as in beautiful, but dressed right, hair right type) and wondering if people will like me. I’m a mess. I’m a better mess than I used to be. Gwen – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Anyhow, I know how it feels to be in the situation you describe above, and I > hope something breaks for you soon.  Keep breathing and you will not drown. > Keep putting one foot in front of the other and you will get through. Keep > telling yourself that.  One breath after the other.  One step after the > other.  One day at a time, one hour at a time, or one minute at a time if > necessary.  Hang on. > Eva > P.S.  I was the one who said she disliked the expression "(he, she, or it) > sucks."  It was a passing remark and meant absolutely nothing, and I > probably use more profanity in my daily conversation than anyone else here.

Response:

On Wed, 7 May 2003 15:00:30 -0500, "gs" <gs2152nos…@charter.net> wrote: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->"Marilee" <mae…@polarcomm.com> wrote in message >news:b9bmuv$hrbde$1@ID-76373.news.dfncis.de… >> gs <gs2152nos…@charter.net> wrote in message >> news:vbin4l1ad1no55@corp.supernews.com… >> > Sorry, I just realized I said suck in a different post. I didn’t mean to >> > offend anyone. >> > Gwen >> Did someone berate you for saying "suck"?????  I say things suck all the >> time, as I’m sure others here do. >> Gwen, you’re a Very Nice Person.  Really.  Give yourself a break over >this. >Thanks. >I remembered reading that someone (more than 1 maybe?) were offended by the >word suck. It is the only *bad* word I was allowed to say growing up…well, >as a teenager, so I’ve never considered it to be offensive. >I’m a wreck. Lots of stuff going on and I *thought* I was handling >everything just fine…but I don’t think I am. I will be okay…I’ve handled >worse. >I just feel like I’m drowning and the harder I try to save myself…the >deeper I sink. >Gwen

{{{{{{Gwen}}}}}} Hang in there!!  Better days are surely coming (they always do). Cathering

Response:

Sorry, I just realized I said suck in a different post. I didn’t mean to offend anyone. Gwen

Response:

gs <gs2152nos…@charter.net> wrote in message

news:vbin4l1ad1no55@corp.supernews.com… > Sorry, I just realized I said suck in a different post. I didn’t mean to > offend anyone. > Gwen

Did someone berate you for saying "suck"?????  I say things suck all the time, as I’m sure others here do. Gwen, you’re a Very Nice Person.  Really.  Give yourself a break over this. Marilee

Response:

"Marilee" <mae…@polarcomm.com> wrote in message

news:b9bmuv$hrbde$1@ID-76373.news.dfncis.de… > gs <gs2152nos…@charter.net> wrote in message > news:vbin4l1ad1no55@corp.supernews.com… > > Sorry, I just realized I said suck in a different post. I didn’t mean to > > offend anyone. > > Gwen > Did someone berate you for saying "suck"?????  I say things suck all the > time, as I’m sure others here do. > Gwen, you’re a Very Nice Person.  Really.  Give yourself a break over this.

Thanks. I remembered reading that someone (more than 1 maybe?) were offended by the word suck. It is the only *bad* word I was allowed to say growing up…well, as a teenager, so I’ve never considered it to be offensive. I’m a wreck. Lots of stuff going on and I *thought* I was handling everything just fine…but I don’t think I am. I will be okay…I’ve handled worse. I just feel like I’m drowning and the harder I try to save myself…the deeper I sink. Gwen – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Marilee

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -gs wrote: > "Marilee" <mae…@polarcomm.com> wrote in message > news:b9bmuv$hrbde$1@ID-76373.news.dfncis.de… >>gs <gs2152nos…@charter.net> wrote in message >>news:vbin4l1ad1no55@corp.supernews.com… >>>Sorry, I just realized I said suck in a different post. I didn’t mean to >>>offend anyone. >>>Gwen >>Did someone berate you for saying "suck"?????  I say things suck all the >>time, as I’m sure others here do. >>Gwen, you’re a Very Nice Person.  Really.  Give yourself a break over > this. > Thanks. > I remembered reading that someone (more than 1 maybe?) were offended by the > word suck. It is the only *bad* word I was allowed to say growing up…well, > as a teenager, so I’ve never considered it to be offensive. > I’m a wreck. Lots of stuff going on and I *thought* I was handling > everything just fine…but I don’t think I am. I will be okay…I’ve handled > worse. > I just feel like I’m drowning and the harder I try to save myself…the > deeper I sink.

Ya know what, Gwen?  That just *sucks*! {{{{{{{{{Gwen}}}}}}}}} FurPaw

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