Act Acting » Acting School » slow court systems and custody evaluators(long vent)

slow court systems and custody evaluators(long vent)

Question:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hello all, Is it a common legal stratagy for one party to try and wear down the other party? Granted, my case is complicated.  We have a court appointed psychologist doing a custody evaluation.  I have 2 kids, ages 11 and 8.  My stbx has dragged her feet through the entire process.  The evaluation began June of 2001.  My stbx was found in contempt last January for failing to make appointments and complete the evaluation.  She then completed the interviews and paperwork mid January. The evaluator still hasen’t finished his report as of April 4.  Meanwhile the trial date keeps getting pushed back.  Now it is scheduled for June.  I am a patient person but am now so frustrated that I am thinking of  giving up.  This case has taken 16 months so far.

Yes, I do believe it is common for these types of cases to take forever (our custody battle went on for 3 years, and it never made it to trial). That was largely due to the fact my ex was ordered into court-supervised therapy. During that time, he only had supervised visitation. The delay allowed time for the supervisor and therapist to evaluate my ex on a regular basis, and report back to the GAL. Then the GAL remained involved as unsupervised custody was gradually restored. But truthfully, it was only restored because I told the GAL I was okay with it, and concurred with the supervisor and therapist that my ex was no longer a danger. In your situation, with CPS involved, I’d venture to say the courts figure your children are safe, so why rock the boat. From their perspective, if you are innocent, at least you are still having continued contact with the kids. And if you are guilty, the current arrangement safeguards the kids. That is all they care about. If your rights are trampled on in the process, well that’s tough. When CPS is involved, you are treated as guilty until proven innocent. If there is a shadow of doubt, they err on the side of caution. Good luck, and if it’s any consolation, at least your stbx doesn’t have sole custody. At least you can sleep at night knowing the kids are safe, and the situation could actually be a lot worse. And the delay will probably play in your favor when this finally reaches trial. The more time passes, the more you get a chance to prove your exemplary fitness. Likewise, the more time passes, your stbx is apparently demonstrating her unfitness. jen

Response:

Hello all, Is it a common legal stratagy for one party to try and wear down the other party?

Yes. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Granted, my case is complicated.  We have a court appointed psychologist doing a custody evaluation.  I have 2 kids, ages 11 and 8.  My stbx has dragged her feet through the entire process.  The evaluation began June of 2001.  My stbx was found in contempt last January for failing to make appointments and complete the evaluation.  She then completed the interviews and paperwork mid January. The evaluator still hasen’t finished his report as of April 4.  Meanwhile the trial date keeps getting pushed back.  Now it is scheduled for June.  I am a patient person but am now so frustrated that I am thinking of  giving up.  This case has taken 16 months so far. The reason for the evaluation is my stbx falsely accused me of child abuse right after we seperated.  This has paralyzed the process and caused me a great deal of anguish and heartache.  Pro se restraining order, supervised visitation, ect. Meanwhile, my stbx has lost tempoary custody because she neglected to get the kids to school regularly and keep a decent home.  CPS has put them with her mother, who I very much get along with.  My access has been greatly increased and I am much happier in that regard. The truth is that I adore my kids and was never abusive in any way.  My stbx has a long history of mental illness and emotional problems.  She is very dysfunctional.  She takes several antidepressant and antipsychotic medications. She made the false accusations to divert attention from her own problems and to punish me for wanting a divorce.  I don’t blame her for her mental illness but it is a fact and she cannot take care of the kids. My lawyer tells me to stick it out and that I have an excellent case at this point, but he has been saying that for months.  I am worn down both emotionally and financially.  The "system" has been very unfair to me and my kids.  I have developed a bitterness toward lawyers and GALs and CPS workers psychologists.

Your case is *not* that complicated. Mom does not have a snowball’s chance in hell of getting custody now based on the existing situation. Since you do not have custody now, the delay will greatly limit your chance of being awarded custody if that is what you want. If your lawyer is not telling you that, and not acting priomtly, your lawyer is lying to you and working against your benefit. When the evalutions are done a year or two from now, it is likely that the recommendation will be for "stability". Checkmate, you lose. Your kids lose, too. Best – Fido – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – The system stinks. Joe

Response:

    In my opinion…yes. If you can stay in the fight long enough, either you or your opponent will run out of money, or have a circumstance, or just plain decide it isn’t worth fighting any longer…and hence you can win that way.     It is a gross waste of time and resources, but wars are fought such ways as well….and we both know how those turn out.     My first divorce involved virtually no property but child custody. I fought it as best I could and just couldn’t afford to keep going. The end strategy was to let her win, then wait for her to make an inevitable screw up…it only took two weeks after the final hearing and I had custody of my kids. At that point she appreciated my fighting to keep it as tight and minimalist, because the shoe was on the other foot. She lost custody, had to pay. I must say I was much more gracious about it than she was….and she made sure to harass me with court actions for the next 12 years…Thank God, she has to go away now.

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hello all, Is it a common legal stratagy for one party to try and wear down the other party? Granted, my case is complicated.  We have a court appointed psychologist doing a custody evaluation.  I have 2 kids, ages 11 and 8.  My stbx has dragged her feet through the entire process.  The evaluation began June of 2001.  My stbx was found in contempt last January for failing to make appointments and complete the evaluation.  She then completed the interviews and paperwork mid January. The evaluator still hasen’t finished his report as of April 4.  Meanwhile the trial date keeps getting pushed back.  Now it is scheduled for June.  I am a patient person but am now so frustrated that I am thinking of  giving up. This case has taken 16 months so far. The reason for the evaluation is my stbx falsely accused me of child abuse right after we seperated.  This has paralyzed the process and caused me a great deal of anguish and heartache.  Pro se restraining order, supervised visitation, ect. Meanwhile, my stbx has lost tempoary custody because she neglected to get the kids to school regularly and keep a decent home.  CPS has put them with her mother, who I very much get along with.  My access has been greatly increased and I am much happier in that regard. The truth is that I adore my kids and was never abusive in any way.  My stbx has a long history of mental illness and emotional problems.  She is very dysfunctional.  She takes several antidepressant and antipsychotic medications. She made the false accusations to divert attention from her own problems and to punish me for wanting a divorce.  I don’t blame her for her mental illness but it is a fact and she cannot take care of the kids. My lawyer tells me to stick it out and that I have an excellent case at this point, but he has been saying that for months.  I am worn down both emotionally and financially.  The "system" has been very unfair to me and my kids.  I have developed a bitterness toward lawyers and GALs and CPS workers psychologists. The system stinks. Joe

Response:

Hello all, Is it a common legal stratagy for one party to try and wear down the other party? Granted, my case is complicated.  We have a court appointed psychologist doing a custody evaluation.  I have 2 kids, ages 11 and 8.  My stbx has dragged her feet through the entire process.  The evaluation began June of 2001.  My stbx was found in contempt last January for failing to make appointments and complete the evaluation.  She then completed the interviews and paperwork mid January. The evaluator still hasen’t finished his report as of April 4.  Meanwhile the trial date keeps getting pushed back.  Now it is scheduled for June.  I am a patient person but am now so frustrated that I am thinking of  giving up.  This case has taken 16 months so far. The reason for the evaluation is my stbx falsely accused me of child abuse right after we seperated.  This has paralyzed the process and caused me a great deal of anguish and heartache.  Pro se restraining order, supervised visitation, ect. Meanwhile, my stbx has lost tempoary custody because she neglected to get the kids to school regularly and keep a decent home.  CPS has put them with her mother, who I very much get along with.  My access has been greatly increased and I am much happier in that regard. The truth is that I adore my kids and was never abusive in any way.  My stbx has a long history of mental illness and emotional problems.  She is very dysfunctional.  She takes several antidepressant and antipsychotic medications. She made the false accusations to divert attention from her own problems and to punish me for wanting a divorce.  I don’t blame her for her mental illness but it is a fact and she cannot take care of the kids. My lawyer tells me to stick it out and that I have an excellent case at this point, but he has been saying that for months.  I am worn down both emotionally and financially.  The "system" has been very unfair to me and my kids.  I have developed a bitterness toward lawyers and GALs and CPS workers psychologists. The system stinks. Joe

Response:

Related Posts

Leave a Reply