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Too Paranoid To Post…..

Question:

Hi Andi,       First I’d like to say Congrats on getting in the car and forcing yourself to travel.  I’m finding out that is the only way I am making any progress.    Secondly,  moving seems to be the best thing for you and your family.  I think most of us have had "friends" that turned out not to be friends at all.  It does hurt but you will survive and  make new  and better friends at the new apartment.  Try not to dwell on the negatives.  Look forward to the move and the new people you will be meeting.  You are not whining, you are only letting out your feelings and that is what ASAP is for.  We are here  for  YOU.                              Take Care,  Debby

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hey everyone…….sorry I haven’t written in a long time, but alot has been happening in my life…..good and bad. The good…….I’ve been trying to travel places in the car with my husband and even though I’ve had Panic Attacks (some pretty major), I’ve been forcing myself to deal with it.  I’m beginning to get used to riding in his car and sometimes I’m panic free. Now the bad news. Remember the continuing saga of my "friends" in my neighborhood (the fight with the drunken mother, the instigating people etc).  Well everything came to a head 3 weeks ago.  The kingpin (or should I say queenpin) of the cliche that I’m "supposedly" a part of, well her daughter has a problem with my kids (remember I told everyone that all the mothers complain to me about my daughter) well, her child and mine had a disagreement and my daughter hit hers.  Now I don’t condone hitting and my daughter was punished.  HOWEVER, this chick got a bee in her bonnet about my child and forbid her child to play with mine…..my daughter was very hurt and cried about it.  Now the funny part is……HER daughter felt terrible too, because she loves to play with my girl.  I asked the mother to forget and forgive, and she did so…..reluctantly.  Ever since, she been looking for a way to get back at me and the kids.  Once after that I mildly reprimanded her daughter for throwing something at mine and she screamed at me for doing so (all I did was talk to her about why it was wrong), and then an incident where my son said something fresh (he said "kiss my pee pee") and her son and a cousin came to me and told me what happened and I punished my son.  A few minutes later, another child heard what happened and told me that the eldest boy of the group said to this mothers child "kiss my ass" my son heard that and said "Kiss my peepee", the third (the said mothers son) repeated it.  Now the child who heard what went on told it to the mother……she really let me have it!  She called me son a filthy mouth (keep in mind that my son just turned 4 years old…..I don’t think he knew what was going on) and that my kids are always getting hers into trouble. After that I sat in a chair and cried a little……then I got angry and when over to her and told her off.  No one said a word as I spoke,  and I left after that!   I am really getting tired of my kids getting blamed for everything.  Now the kid who started the whole thing did not get scolded or punished nor did anyone complain to the mother.  Only me!  This kind of crap has been going on for almost ten years and now I’m tired of it.  If it’s not me, it’s my kids (mostly my kids cause they are defenseless and everyone knows that I’m sensitive about them!)  I’ve decided to pull up my stakes and move across town so I don’t have to deal with them anymore.  I found an apartment in a house and the deal is almost done (I just have to pay the month of July’s rent……the rest is paid.  I told the queenpin (the irate mother’s mother) that I’m leaving (she’s the manager of this building), and she didn’t even have the decency to look sorry or anything…the minute she heard the news…she turned to one of the girls and said…"Oh great! Mary, now you could move in!"  and they were both cackling like hens about the prospect of her taking my apt.  Ain’t that something!  And the strange part is…..the queenpin and I weren’t on bad terms after that incident (which surprised me…..since she’s always jumping in)  The problem now wait is hell, cause I have to see them everyday til then (they are always hanging out in front of my building).. I feel like a prisoner in my own neighborhood, causing their eyes follow you everywhere and they are always everywhere! Its like having to go to school knowing that your classmates hate you.  I’ve been depressed and frustrated…..all I do is mope and try to get away from the neighborhood but it’s taking a toll on me. Please help me to cope….I’m so hurt by these people….the people who I thought were friends and family. beginning to think that everyone is getting tired/annoyed at my whining. I hope I’m just being paranoid……I’m not trying to offend anyone so please don’t take it as such. ANDI Andrea’s Pop and Contemporary Art Extravaganza http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/6104/PopArt.html Andrea’s Lawrence Brothers Website http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/6104/joeylawrence.html Andrea’s Monkee Website http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/6104/index.html — ANDI Andrea’s Pop and Contemporary Art Extravaganza http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/6104/PopArt.html Andrea’s Lawrence Brothers Website http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/6104/joeylawrence.html Andrea’s Monkee Website http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/6104/index.html

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi Andrea, There is something I do not understand about this situation…..If this woman has been causing you so much distress and problems, why are you still associating with her?  I am not being snide or rude, just trying to understand your situation.  If I was in this situation I would not associate with this woman and I would not let the children associate with her or her children either.  I think moving out is the best solution you could have chosen. Here are some things you can do: 1…If she is in front of your building and gawking or chuckling at you     just snicker at her ignorance. 2…Laugh to yourself at what a moron she is acting like. 3…Pity her 4…Ignore her Good luck Cathy P.H.O.B.I.A. People Helping Others Become Independent Again Off-line Panic/Anxiety Support Group Learn about us at http://community.nj.com/cc/phobia

Well, it’s hard not to deal with her because she is the daughter of the manager of my building and a relative of my daughter (she’s her cousin).  I haven’t dealt with her since our argument (I’ve been ignoring her) and thank goodness she doesn’t come around too often either so that helps.  The manager hasn’t been unkind to me since then (even though she probably is talking behind my back).  I’m trying to leave here on a somewhat good note with the rest of the ladies (manager included) because I know my daughter would want to see her relatives from time to time (although it won’t be anytime soon)and I don’t want the visit to be strained.  Plus, I’m going to have to come back to the neighborhood once a week to see my therapist and I might bump into them one day.  I wish I could get help where I’m moving, but there is no therapist there that specializes in Panic Disorder. ANDI Andrea’s Pop and Contemporary Art Extravaganza http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/6104/PopArt.html Andrea’s Lawrence Brothers Website http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/6104/joeylawrence.html Andrea’s Monkee Website http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/6104/index.html

Response:

Well, Good luck with the move, I think it is the best thing you could do. Cathy — P.H.O.B.I.A. People Helping Others Become Independent Again Off-line Panic/Anxiety Support Group Learn about us at http://community.nj.com/cc/phobia

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi Andrea, There is something I do not understand about this situation…..If this woman has been causing you so much distress and problems, why are you still associating with her?  I am not being snide or rude, just trying to understand your situation.  If I was in this situation I would not associate with this woman and I would not let the children associate with her or her children either.  I think moving out is the best solution you could have chosen. Here are some things you can do: 1…If she is in front of your building and gawking or chuckling at you     just snicker at her ignorance. 2…Laugh to yourself at what a moron she is acting like. 3…Pity her 4…Ignore her Good luck Cathy P.H.O.B.I.A. People Helping Others Become Independent Again Off-line Panic/Anxiety Support Group Learn about us at http://community.nj.com/cc/phobia Well, it’s hard not to deal with her because she is the daughter of the manager of my building and a relative of my daughter (she’s her cousin). I haven’t dealt with her since our argument (I’ve been ignoring her) and thank goodness she doesn’t come around too often either so that helps.  The manager hasn’t been unkind to me since then (even though she probably is talking behind my back).  I’m trying to leave here on a somewhat good note with the rest of the ladies (manager included) because I know my daughter would want to see her relatives from time to time (although it won’t be anytime soon)and I don’t want the visit to be strained.  Plus, I’m going to have to come back to the neighborhood once a week to see my therapist and I might bump into them one day.  I wish I could get help where I’m moving, but there is no therapist there that specializes in Panic Disorder. ANDI Andrea’s Pop and Contemporary Art Extravaganza http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/6104/PopArt.html Andrea’s Lawrence Brothers Website http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/6104/joeylawrence.html Andrea’s Monkee Website http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/6104/index.html

Response:

Thank you everyone for your posts……I’m really lucky to have found you guys, you are wonderful people!  I was feeling down and you guys really picked my spirits up with your wise advice. Thanks….. {{{{{{everyone}}}}}}} ANDI Andrea’s Pop and Contemporary Art Extravaganza http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/6104/PopArt.html Andrea’s Lawrence Brothers Website http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/6104/joeylawrence.html Andrea’s Monkee Website http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/6104/index.html

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hey everyone…….sorry I haven’t written in a long time, but alot has been happening in my life…..good and bad. The good…….I’ve been trying to travel places in the car with my husband and even though I’ve had Panic Attacks (some pretty major), I’ve been forcing myself to deal with it.  I’m beginning to get used to riding in his car and sometimes I’m panic free. Now the bad news. Remember the continuing saga of my "friends" in my neighborhood (the fight with the drunken mother, the instigating people etc).  Well everything came to a head 3 weeks ago.  The kingpin (or should I say queenpin) of the cliche that I’m "supposedly" a part of, well her daughter has a problem with my kids (remember I told everyone that all the mothers complain to me about my daughter) well, her child and mine had a disagreement and my daughter hit hers.  Now I don’t condone hitting and my daughter was punished.  HOWEVER, this chick got a bee in her bonnet about my child and forbid her child to play with mine…..my daughter was very hurt and cried about it.  Now the funny part is……HER daughter felt terrible too, because she loves to play with my girl.  I asked the mother to forget and forgive, and she did so…..reluctantly.  Ever since, she been looking for a way to get back at me and the kids.  Once after that I mildly reprimanded her daughter for throwing something at mine and she screamed at me for doing so (all I did was talk to her about why it was wrong), and then an incident where my son said something fresh (he said "kiss my pee pee") and her son and a cousin came to me and told me what happened and I punished my son.  A few minutes later, another child heard what happened and told me that the eldest boy of the group said to this mothers child "kiss my ass" my son heard that and said "Kiss my peepee", the third (the said mothers son) repeated it.  Now the child who heard what went on told it to the mother……she really let me have it!  She called me son a filthy mouth (keep in mind that my son just turned 4 years old…..I don’t think he knew what was going on) and that my kids are always getting hers into trouble. After that I sat in a chair and cried a little……then I got angry and when over to her and told her off.  No one said a word as I spoke,  and I left after that!   I am really getting tired of my kids getting blamed for everything.  Now the kid who started the whole thing did not get scolded or punished nor did anyone complain to the mother.  Only me!  This kind of crap has been going on for almost ten years and now I’m tired of it.  If it’s not me, it’s my kids (mostly my kids cause they are defenseless and everyone knows that I’m sensitive about them!)  I’ve decided to pull up my stakes and move across town so I don’t have to deal with them anymore.  I found an apartment in a house and the deal is almost done (I just have to pay the month of July’s rent……the rest is paid.  I told the queenpin (the irate mother’s mother) that I’m leaving (she’s the manager of this building), and she didn’t even have the decency to look sorry or anything…the minute she heard the news…she turned to one of the girls and said…"Oh great! Mary, now you could move in!"  and they were both cackling like hens about the prospect of her taking my apt.  Ain’t that something!  And the strange part is…..the queenpin and I weren’t on bad terms after that incident (which surprised me…..since she’s always jumping in)  The problem now wait is hell, cause I have to see them everyday til then (they are always hanging out in front of my building).. I feel like a prisoner in my own neighborhood, causing their eyes follow you everywhere and they are always everywhere! Its like having to go to school knowing that your classmates hate you.  I’ve been depressed and frustrated…..all I do is mope and try to get away from the neighborhood but it’s taking a toll on me. Please help me to cope….I’m so hurt by these people….the people who I thought were friends and family. beginning to think that everyone is getting tired/annoyed at my whining.  I hope I’m just being paranoid……I’m not trying to offend anyone so please don’t take it as such.

Hi Andi! Good for you to move away from these idiots. It seems the right choice as trhis will go on and on and will ultimately cause you anxiety and will stop your children from growing up in a normal way. It’s gone on too long and reproaching a 4 year old for saying something he doesn;t even grasp the meaning of is totally ridiculous bordering on the malicious. I’m sure you’ll survive one more month and then hopefully you’ll have nicer neighbours! Take care! Philip – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – ANDI Andrea’s Pop and Contemporary Art Extravaganza http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/6104/PopArt.html Andrea’s Lawrence Brothers Website http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/6104/joeylawrence.html Andrea’s Monkee Website http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/6104/index.html — ANDI Andrea’s Pop and Contemporary Art Extravaganza http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/6104/PopArt.html Andrea’s Lawrence Brothers Website http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/6104/joeylawrence.html Andrea’s Monkee Website http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/6104/index.html

Response:

my last letter and I’m beginning to think that everyone is getting tired/annoyed at my whining. I hope I’m just being paranoid……I’m not trying to offend anyone so please don’t take it as such. IMO, buying a gun to protect you and your family would ease your anxiety for this situation.

A very christian thought indeed…. Philip :) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text –

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