Act Acting » Child Actors » help me please…?

help me please…?

Question:

…though I have twisted off a few times and I regret it.  She did a couple of times with me and kicks herself a lot for it. Well, first of all, if your wife truly believed in her religion, she wouldn’t be doing drugs.  You both need to get into some kind of drug rehab and therapy immediately.  You can’t do this alone and your problems are quite big.   If your wife truly wants a child, I would have to ask why, when she uses drugs and that isn’t the best intro into the world for a child.  You guys need professional intervention before making *any* decisions.

I think it is possible that I could have gone without mention of that as it is not affecting our current standings.  I was trying to illustrate the point that we have resolved those very difficult problems in our own minds by a show of our regrets.  I was also trying to show that this relationship is suffering.  Drug use is not a problem that either of us would like to relive and I feel like we are strong enough to avoid it eternally.  It was hell back then and I can’t imagine it has changed for the better. Thank you very much for your interest and your words of advise.  You are appreciated.

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -My wife and I are having trouble.  I do not know where else to go for advise. We have been together since she was 17 years old and next month she’ll be 30.  We have lived together for the bulk of that time yet only been married since April two years ago.  I am turning 36 in October and hiv positive.  We have known about it since 1993 and she remain hiv negative. It has changed our lives tremendously.  We are drug free for now though I have twisted off a few times and I regret it.  She did a couple of times with me and kicks herself a lot for it. We have no children and that has just recently become a big problem.  We have a great difference in religious beliefs.  She believes and I don’t. I’m not some goat butchering vodoo prince, I just don’t buy creation and dead guys coming back to life. I think the children issue is the biggest problem for her.  She sat up in bed a couple of months ago and declared her need for space.  It has been very tough because I am very much in love with her and I know she loves me. She says she does not want to hurt me but the reproduction thing is plaguing her big time. I don’t tell her this but she is the only part of my life that makes it worth living.  Without her I can see no reason to go on if I’m just gonna’ die anyway. Is there some hope?  Can we be saved?  I want her to feel happy and fulfilled with her life with me but I don’t want her to stay if she is not happy.  Her happiness is very important to me. Is there some site I can visit and find help for us?  I think she is planning to see some "Phyc" on Friday and I hope she can find answers she can live with. Don’t get me wrong, I am not a depressed acting guy or needy, clingy, or anything like that.  I act very positive and happy all the time.  I don’t ever intend to bring others down with my problems. I just need a little advise and direction right now.  Can anyone help me? Thank you for any help you may offer.

Well, first of all, if your wife truly believed in her religion, she wouldn’t be doing drugs.  You both need to get into some kind of drug rehab and therapy immediately.  You can’t do this alone and your problems are quite big.   If your wife truly wants a child, I would have to ask why, when she uses drugs and that isn’t the best intro into the world for a child.  You guys need professional intervention before making *any* decisions.

Response:

<SNIP Just keep remembering that being HIV ***IS NOT*** who you are.  You are a special, unique person who has HIV.

It has been a long and rocky road.  In the first hours following my diagnosis I was completely hopeless.  In the first weeks I was desperately searching.  In the months to follow I was obsesessed with the beauty of grass blades and smiling children.  The years since have been a mixed bag of tricks I’ve played upon myself.  I have the heavy task of keeping my family and friends happy or at least content by not displaying my fears.  Mary Kay Ask says "fake it until you make it."  I have faked it long enough to fool myself.  I am okay with death but not suffering.  I am not okay with losing my wife, friend, and all that she is.  I know that if she leaves I’ll be saddled with a life af aloneness.  No one wants someone with hiv.  I hate to sound weak but I guess I’m just freaking out right now. <SNIP I am gentle and kind to my wife.  I love her very much and my goal is to make her life as well as possible.  I try not to contribute to her happiness in any negative fashion. Wish everyone could learn that lesson.  It’s not what you can get out of a relationship.  It’s what you can give.

I heard an older gentleman say along time ago; "a party is only a party when the guests bring party favors."  I’ve heard is said other ways through out my life but I guess it all boils down to one thing for me.  I feel much happier when I give than when I receive. <SNIP She says she does not want to hurt me but the reproduction thing is plaguing her big time. She is running out of time, but probably not as fast as she thinks. I am totally understanding that her fears and feelings are valid.  I do not discount her feekings regarding the "baby issue."  I just want to help us both find a way to live with it and still be fulfilled. And I suspect if you both work hard enough you’ll find that.  Maybe not the perfect solution, but something you both can be happy with.

For this I truly hope and if what I am doing now is praying then so be it. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I don’t tell her this but she is the only part of my life that makes it worth living.  Without her I can see no reason to go on if I’m just gonna’ die anyway. We’re all going to die anyway eventually.  I was given the "death sentence" by doctors years ago when I had TB, but I’m still around. All any doctor can do is give you his/her best educated guess of what s/he knows at that point in time. Agreed totally.  According to gov. statistics I should be long since dead but I am doing GREAT. I get pretty grumpy when I hear (or think I hear) the "I’m dying, my life is over" speech.  Several years ago a friend’s healthy 16 year-old daughter walked back to her room and died.  Cerebral hemorage. No one knows how long they live. Augie (a poster around here) has on his sig: You have to dance like no one’s watching ~And Love like it’s never going to hurt~ ~Live All Your Life, All Your Life Long~ There’s a whole lot of wisdom there.

How true that is.  I’ve read the tag line of another poster that I think you’ll find to be warm and true.  It goes a bit like this but I am not sure it is verbatim; "life is a tragedy when you cry and a comedy when you laugh" I have read and absorbed many things regarding the virus, hypothesis, condition, and syndrome.  I hope Dr. Peter Duesberg is correct in his assesment.  I live by the code: Hope and expect the best but be prepared for the worst. But isn’t that kind like life is anyway?

It should be but I have known times when I did not realize this. Is there some hope?  Can we be saved?  I want her to feel happy and fulfilled with her life with me but I don’t want her to stay if she is not happy.  Her happiness is very important to me. Be sure to look into any and all alternatives.  Have you considered artificial insemination? We have and I can not accurately asses her feeling on the matter. I’m big on talking and keep talking and then talk some more.  You really need to sit down and write down all of your options and see how BOTH of you feel on each of them.

She is very emotional currently and I am not sure when she is going to come down.  She’s made arrangement to visit with a counselor on Friday.  I hope she does and that it is a possitive experience for her. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Is there some site I can visit and find help for us?  I think she is planning to see some "Phyc" on Friday and I hope she can find answers she can live with. Would you consider going to counseling too?  It might help you deal with your HIV. I have been and am eternally willing to explore that as well as other avenues.  I have in the past benefitted greatly from counseling.  It is something that I have been exposed to since I was a young child. Then you know there are good ones and bad ones.  Hopefully you can find one that fits who you are and what you need. Years ago I watched a movie that changed my idea on those who were dying.  It was about a woman who was dying of cancer.  Her husband was trying to make her last days as happy and comfortable as possibly. She kept pushing him away and even tried to kill herself.  They were driving back and were in a multi-car pile up.  He was killed instantly and she had wasted the precious time they had had together because she was thinking only of the time she had left.  None of us know when we are going to die or who is going to die before us.  That’s why living the life we have to the fullest is so important. I would like to know the title of that movie.  I really enjoy movies a lot and find them often to be very theraputic.  Can you try to remember the name of that film? THANK YOU!  When I read your post I went off in search of the title.  All I could remember is it had Buddy Ebsen in it, Harriet from Ozzie and Harriet, and it had something about 5.  It’s been a while since I have seen the movie.  I found it and one of the leading characters was Tommy Lee Jones, one of my favorite actors.  Now I know I will have to dig it out and see it again. It’s called Smash-Up on Interstate 5.  The Harriet Hillard was also known as Harriet Nelson.  Here’s a cast listing http://us.imdb.com/Title?0075236 Here’s the plot summary from the same source –  Smash-Up on Interstate 5 (1976) (TV) A disaster movie opening with an enormous multi-vehicle crash on a Californian highway. After the opening stunt-filled action, a flashback of the crash victims’ lives prior to and leading up to the accident. The closing replays the entire "smash up" from various angles and in slow motion, depicting much carnage and indifference to the victims. I have a copy of it somewhere.  If you can’t find it let me know.

I work out on the Soloflex M,W,F but I hope to peruse the shelves at Hastings on Friday. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I just need a little advise and direction right now.  Can anyone help me? Try to find alternatives to your situation.  I don’t think you could adopt, but it still might be worth asking.  I don’t know if you could adopt privately. I’d also try to find support groups for both of you.  I would doubt that you are the first couple where AIDS/HIV is involved that have faced this situation. That’s why I am here in this particular forum.  We have explored the local "support groups" only to find "dating scenes", "swap meets", and "bitch sessions."  We are not homophobic but we feel like we could benefit more from a ‘hetero’ mindset. Have you visited alt.support.marriage?  They might help, too.  There has to be bulletin boards, listservs that are for people in your situation.  Have you checked into that?  Do you know how to do a search for them?

I have posted the same message on a.s.m.  How do you search for these forums?  If you can advise me I’d appreciate it greatly. I appreciate your interest and advise.  Thank you. Well, I don’t think I helped much, but if I really can help let me know.

…help comes in many forms.  Your interest alone is very beneficial to me at this point.  I’m am, to say the very least a desperate man right now.  I have not been this scared and unsettled in many many years. Thank you Bobby – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Victoria Lee

Response:

Oh yeah.  I was (after I was diagnosed) recruited as the Director of Education for the surrounding fifteen counties regarding hiv/aids and sexual responsibilty.  I was THE poster child for heterosexual hiv/aids.  I am very consciencious of my condition and potential danger.  I feel like a poisonous dart.  I wouldn’t throw it at anyone.

Just keep remembering that being HIV ***IS NOT*** who you are.  You are a special, unique person who has HIV. We have no children and that has just recently become a big problem.  We have a great difference in religious beliefs.  She believes and I don’t. I’m not some goat butchering vodoo prince, I just don’t buy creation and dead guys coming back to life. I hope you didn’t put it that way to her.  Even when you don’t agree with your spouse’s opinion about religion, that opinion is worthy of being treated with respect. That was my attempt to find the humor in it.

I wasn’t sure and I’d rather ask that guess. I am gentle and kind to my wife.  I love her very much and my goal is to make her life as well as possible.  I try not to contribute to her happiness in any negative

fashion. Wish everyone could learn that lesson.  It’s not what you can get out of a relationship.  It’s what you can give. I realize that my comments above sound sarcastic, they are more of an overdefensive stance on my behalf.  Sorry if I sounded prickish.

You didn’t.  Just wanted to find out where you were coming from. She says she does not want to hurt me but the reproduction thing is plaguing her big time. She is running out of time, but probably not as fast as she thinks. I am totally understanding that her fears and feelings are valid.  I do not discount her feekings regarding the "baby issue."  I just want to help us both find a way to live with it and still be fulfilled.

And I suspect if you both work hard enough you’ll find that.  Maybe not the perfect solution, but something you both can be happy with. I don’t tell her this but she is the only part of my life that makes it worth living.  Without her I can see no reason to go on if I’m just gonna’ die anyway. We’re all going to die anyway eventually.  I was given the "death sentence" by doctors years ago when I had TB, but I’m still around. All any doctor can do is give you his/her best educated guess of what s/he knows at that point in time. Agreed totally.  According to gov. statistics I should be long since dead but I am doing GREAT.

I get pretty grumpy when I hear (or think I hear) the "I’m dying, my life is over" speech.  Several years ago a friend’s healthy 16 year-old daughter walked back to her room and died.  Cerebral hemorage. No one knows how long they live. Augie (a poster around here) has on his sig: You have to dance like no one’s watching ~And Love like it’s never going to hurt~ ~Live All Your Life, All Your Life Long~ There’s a whole lot of wisdom there. I have read and absorbed many things regarding the virus, hypothesis, condition, and syndrome.  I hope Dr. Peter Duesberg is correct in his assesment.  I live by the code: Hope and expect the best but be prepared for the worst.

But isn’t that kind like life is anyway? Is there some hope?  Can we be saved?  I want her to feel happy and fulfilled with her life with me but I don’t want her to stay if she is not happy.  Her happiness is very important to me. Be sure to look into any and all alternatives.  Have you considered artificial insemination? We have and I can not accurately asses her feeling on the matter.

I’m big on talking and keep talking and then talk some more.  You really need to sit down and write down all of your options and see how BOTH of you feel on each of them. Is there some site I can visit and find help for us?  I think she is planning to see some "Phyc" on Friday and I hope she can find answers she can live with. Would you consider going to counseling too?  It might help you deal with your HIV. I have been and am eternally willing to explore that as well as other avenues.  I have in the past benefitted greatly from counseling.  It is something that I have been exposed to since I was a young child.

Then you know there are good ones and bad ones.  Hopefully you can find one that fits who you are and what you need. Years ago I watched a movie that changed my idea on those who were dying.  It was about a woman who was dying of cancer.  Her husband was trying to make her last days as happy and comfortable as possibly. She kept pushing him away and even tried to kill herself.  They were driving back and were in a multi-car pile up.  He was killed instantly and she had wasted the precious time they had had together because she was thinking only of the time she had left.  None of us know when we are going to die or who is going to die before us.  That’s why living the life we have to the fullest is so important. I would like to know the title of that movie.  I really enjoy movies a lot and find them often to be very theraputic.  Can you try to remember the name of that film?

THANK YOU!  When I read your post I went off in search of the title.  All I could remember is it had Buddy Ebsen in it, Harriet from Ozzie and Harriet, and it had something about 5.  It’s been a while since I have seen the movie.  I found it and one of the leading characters was Tommy Lee Jones, one of my favorite actors.  Now I know I will have to dig it out and see it again. It’s called Smash-Up on Interstate 5.  The Harriet Hillard was also known as Harriet Nelson.  Here’s a cast listing http://us.imdb.com/Title?0075236 Here’s the plot summary from the same source –  Smash-Up on Interstate 5 (1976) (TV) A disaster movie opening with an enormous multi-vehicle crash on a Californian highway. After the opening stunt-filled action, a flashback of the crash victims’ lives prior to and leading up to the accident. The closing replays the entire "smash up" from various angles and in slow motion, depicting much carnage and indifference to the victims. I have a copy of it somewhere.  If you can’t find it let me know. I just need a little advise and direction right now.  Can anyone help me? Try to find alternatives to your situation.  I don’t think you could adopt, but it still might be worth asking.  I don’t know if you could adopt privately. I’d also try to find support groups for both of you.  I would doubt that you are the first couple where AIDS/HIV is involved that have faced this situation. That’s why I am here in this particular forum.  We have explored the local "support groups" only to find "dating scenes", "swap meets", and "bitch sessions."  We are not homophobic but we feel like we could benefit more from a ‘hetero’ mindset.

Have you visited alt.support.marriage?  They might help, too.  There has to be bulletin boards, listservs that are for people in your situation.  Have you checked into that?  Do you know how to do a search for them? I appreciate your interest and advise.  Thank you.

Well, I don’t think I helped much, but if I really can help let me know. Victoria Lee

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – My wife and I are having trouble.  I do not know where else to go for advise. We have been together since she was 17 years old and next month she’ll be 30.  We have lived together for the bulk of that time yet only been married since April two years ago.  I am turning 36 in October and hiv positive. We have known about it since 1993 and she remain hiv negative. I would hope you love her enough that if you are continuing to have sex that at least you are using a condom to protect her.

Oh yeah.  I was (after I was diagnosed) recruited as the Director of Education for the surrounding fifteen counties regarding hiv/aids and sexual responsibilty.  I was THE poster child for heterosexual hiv/aids.  I am very consciencious of my condition and potential danger.  I feel like a poisonous dart.  I wouldn’t throw it at anyone. It has changed our lives tremendously.  We are drug free for now though I have twisted off a few times and I regret it.  She did a couple of times with me and kicks herself a lot for it. We have no children and that has just recently become a big problem.  We have a great difference in religious beliefs.  She believes and I don’t. I’m not some goat butchering vodoo prince, I just don’t buy creation and dead guys coming back to life. I hope you didn’t put it that way to her.  Even when you don’t agree with your spouse’s opinion about religion, that opinion is worthy of being treated with respect.

That was my attempt to find the humor in it.  I am gentle and kind to my wife.  I love her very much and my goal is to make her life as well as possible.  I try not to contribute to her happiness in any negative fashion. I realize that my comments above sound sarcastic, they are more of an overdefensive stance on my behalf.  Sorry if I sounded prickish. I think the children issue is the biggest problem for her.  She sat up in bed a couple of months ago and declared her need for space.  It has been very tough because I am very much in love with her and I know she loves me. She says she does not want to hurt me but the reproduction thing is plaguing her big time. She is running out of time, but probably not as fast as she thinks.

I am totally understanding that her fears and feelings are valid.  I do not discount her feekings regarding the "baby issue."  I just want to help us both find a way to live with it and still be fulfilled. I don’t tell her this but she is the only part of my life that makes it worth living.  Without her I can see no reason to go on if I’m just gonna’ die anyway. We’re all going to die anyway eventually.  I was given the "death sentence" by doctors years ago when I had TB, but I’m still around. All any doctor can do is give you his/her best educated guess of what s/he knows at that point in time.

Agreed totally.  According to gov. statistics I should be long since dead but I am doing GREAT. You say is you are HIV positive.  You do not say that you have AIDS and those are very different things.  YET many people with AIDS are now living longer and having a better quality of life than just a few years ago.  Get on with your life and deal with AIDS when and if it comes.

I have read and absorbed many things regarding the virus, hypothesis, condition, and syndrome.  I hope Dr. Peter Duesberg is correct in his assesment.  I live by the code: Hope and expect the best but be prepared for the worst. Is there some hope?  Can we be saved?  I want her to feel happy and fulfilled with her life with me but I don’t want her to stay if she is not happy.  Her happiness is very important to me. Be sure to look into any and all alternatives.  Have you considered artificial insemination?

We have and I can not accurately asses her feeling on the matter. Is there some site I can visit and find help for us?  I think she is planning to see some "Phyc" on Friday and I hope she can find answers she can live with. Would you consider going to counseling too?  It might help you deal with your HIV.

I have been and am eternally willing to explore that as well as other avenues.  I have in the past benefitted greatly from counseling.  It is something that I have been exposed to since I was a young child. Don’t get me wrong, I am not a depressed acting guy or needy, clingy, or anything like that.  I act very positive and happy all the time.  I don’t ever intend to bring others down with my problems. Years ago I watched a movie that changed my idea on those who were dying.  It was about a woman who was dying of cancer.  Her husband was trying to make her last days as happy and comfortable as possibly. She kept pushing him away and even tried to kill herself.  They were driving back and were in a multi-car pile up.  He was killed instantly and she had wasted the precious time they had had together because she was thinking only of the time she had left.  None of us know when we are going to die or who is going to die before us.  That’s why living the life we have to the fullest is so important.

I would like to know the title of that movie.  I really enjoy movies a lot and find them often to be very theraputic.  Can you try to remember the name of that film? I just need a little advise and direction right now.  Can anyone help me? Try to find alternatives to your situation.  I don’t think you could adopt, but it still might be worth asking.  I don’t know if you could adopt privately. I’d also try to find support groups for both of you.  I would doubt that you are the first couple where AIDS/HIV is involved that have faced this situation.

That’s why I am here in this particular forum.  We have explored the local "support groups" only to find "dating scenes", "swap meets", and "bitch sessions."  We are not homophobic but we feel like we could benefit more from a ‘hetero’ mindset. I appreciate your interest and advise.  Thank you.

Response:

Thank you very much.  I’m freakin’ out at this point.  Your interest is very much appreciated and needed. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Anon, I’m very sorry for your troubles, you’ve definitely got alot of work ahead of you.  Perhaps it might be in both your best interests to see a counselor together and see if there is anything to be worked out.  It sounds like your wife is wanting children…not unusual especially since she has none and is getting older.  I wish you the best of luck, I really do.  If you need to talk you can email me as well. Daisy My wife and I are having trouble.  I do not know where else to go for advise. We have been together since she was 17 years old and next month she’ll be 30.  We have lived together for the bulk of that time yet only been married since April two years ago.  I am turning 36 in October and hiv positive. We have known about it since 1993 and she remain hiv negative. It has changed our lives tremendously.  We are drug free for now though I have twisted off a few times and I regret it.  She did a couple of times with me and kicks herself a lot for it. We have no children and that has just recently become a big problem.  We have a great difference in religious beliefs.  She believes and I don’t. I’m not some goat butchering vodoo prince, I just don’t buy creation and dead guys coming back to life. I think the children issue is the biggest problem for her.  She sat up in bed a couple of months ago and declared her need for space.  It has been very tough because I am very much in love with her and I know she loves me. She says she does not want to hurt me but the reproduction thing is plaguing her big time. I don’t tell her this but she is the only part of my life that makes it worth living.  Without her I can see no reason to go on if I’m just gonna’ die anyway. Is there some hope?  Can we be saved?  I want her to feel happy and fulfilled with her life with me but I don’t want her to stay if she is not happy.  Her happiness is very important to me. Is there some site I can visit and find help for us?  I think she is planning to see some "Phyc" on Friday and I hope she can find answers she can live with. Don’t get me wrong, I am not a depressed acting guy or needy, clingy, or anything like that.  I act very positive and happy all the time.  I don’t ever intend to bring others down with my problems. I just need a little advise and direction right now.  Can anyone help me? Thank you for any help you may offer.

Response:

My wife and I are having trouble.  I do not know where else to go for advise. We have been together since she was 17 years old and next month she’ll be 30.  We have lived together for the bulk of that time yet only been married since April two years ago.  I am turning 36 in October and hiv positive.  We have known about it since 1993 and she remain hiv negative.

I would hope you love her enough that if you are continuing to have sex that at least you are using a condom to protect her. It has changed our lives tremendously.  We are drug free for now though I have twisted off a few times and I regret it.  She did a couple of times with me and kicks herself a lot for it. We have no children and that has just recently become a big problem.  We have a great difference in religious beliefs.  She believes and I don’t. I’m not some goat butchering vodoo prince, I just don’t buy creation and dead guys coming back to life.

I hope you didn’t put it that way to her.  Even when you don’t agree with your spouse’s opinion about religion, that opinion is worthy of being treated with respect. I think the children issue is the biggest problem for her.  She sat up in bed a couple of months ago and declared her need for space.  It has been very tough because I am very much in love with her and I know she loves me. She says she does not want to hurt me but the reproduction thing is plaguing her big time.

She is running out of time, but probably not as fast as she thinks. I don’t tell her this but she is the only part of my life that makes it worth living.  Without her I can see no reason to go on if I’m just gonna’ die anyway.

We’re all going to die anyway eventually.  I was given the "death sentence" by doctors years ago when I had TB, but I’m still around. All any doctor can do is give you his/her best educated guess of what s/he knows at that point in time. You say is you are HIV positive.  You do not say that you have AIDS and those are very different things.  YET many people with AIDS are now living longer and having a better quality of life than just a few years ago.  Get on with your life and deal with AIDS when and if it comes.   Is there some hope?  Can we be saved?  I want her to feel happy and fulfilled with her life with me but I don’t want her to stay if she is not happy.  Her happiness is very important to me.

Be sure to look into any and all alternatives.  Have you considered artificial insemination? Is there some site I can visit and find help for us?  I think she is planning to see some "Phyc" on Friday and I hope she can find answers she can live with.

Would you consider going to counseling too?  It might help you deal with your HIV. Don’t get me wrong, I am not a depressed acting guy or needy, clingy, or anything like that.  I act very positive and happy all the time.  I don’t ever intend to bring others down with my problems.

Years ago I watched a movie that changed my idea on those who were dying.  It was about a woman who was dying of cancer.  Her husband was trying to make her last days as happy and comfortable as possibly. She kept pushing him away and even tried to kill herself.  They were driving back and were in a multi-car pile up.  He was killed instantly and she had wasted the precious time they had had together because she was thinking only of the time she had left.  None of us know when we are going to die or who is going to die before us.  That’s why living the life we have to the fullest is so important.     I just need a little advise and direction right now.  Can anyone help me?

Try to find alternatives to your situation.  I don’t think you could adopt, but it still might be worth asking.  I don’t know if you could adopt privately. I’d also try to find support groups for both of you.  I would doubt that you are the first couple where AIDS/HIV is involved that have faced this situation.

Response:

My wife and I are having trouble.  I do not know where else to go for advise. We have been together since she was 17 years old and next month she’ll be 30.  We have lived together for the bulk of that time yet only been married since April two years ago.  I am turning 36 in October and hiv positive.  We have known about it since 1993 and she remain hiv negative. It has changed our lives tremendously.  We are drug free for now though I have twisted off a few times and I regret it.  She did a couple of times with me and kicks herself a lot for it. We have no children and that has just recently become a big problem.  We have a great difference in religious beliefs.  She believes and I don’t. I’m not some goat butchering vodoo prince, I just don’t buy creation and dead guys coming back to life. I think the children issue is the biggest problem for her.  She sat up in bed a couple of months ago and declared her need for space.  It has been very tough because I am very much in love with her and I know she loves me. She says she does not want to hurt me but the reproduction thing is plaguing her big time. I don’t tell her this but she is the only part of my life that makes it worth living.  Without her I can see no reason to go on if I’m just gonna’ die anyway. Is there some hope?  Can we be saved?  I want her to feel happy and fulfilled with her life with me but I don’t want her to stay if she is not happy.  Her happiness is very important to me. Is there some site I can visit and find help for us?  I think she is planning to see some "Phyc" on Friday and I hope she can find answers she can live with. Don’t get me wrong, I am not a depressed acting guy or needy, clingy, or anything like that.  I act very positive and happy all the time.  I don’t ever intend to bring others down with my problems. I just need a little advise and direction right now.  Can anyone help me? Thank you for any help you may offer.

Response:

Anon, I’m very sorry for your troubles, you’ve definitely got alot of work ahead of you.  Perhaps it might be in both your best interests to see a counselor together and see if there is anything to be worked out.  It sounds like your wife is wanting children…not unusual especially since she has none and is getting older.  I wish you the best of luck, I really do.  If you need to talk you can email me as well. Daisy – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – My wife and I are having trouble.  I do not know where else to go for advise. We have been together since she was 17 years old and next month she’ll be 30.  We have lived together for the bulk of that time yet only been married since April two years ago.  I am turning 36 in October and hiv positive. We have known about it since 1993 and she remain hiv negative. It has changed our lives tremendously.  We are drug free for now though I have twisted off a few times and I regret it.  She did a couple of times with me and kicks herself a lot for it. We have no children and that has just recently become a big problem.  We have a great difference in religious beliefs.  She believes and I don’t. I’m not some goat butchering vodoo prince, I just don’t buy creation and dead guys coming back to life. I think the children issue is the biggest problem for her.  She sat up in bed a couple of months ago and declared her need for space.  It has been very tough because I am very much in love with her and I know she loves me. She says she does not want to hurt me but the reproduction thing is plaguing her big time. I don’t tell her this but she is the only part of my life that makes it worth living.  Without her I can see no reason to go on if I’m just gonna’ die anyway. Is there some hope?  Can we be saved?  I want her to feel happy and fulfilled with her life with me but I don’t want her to stay if she is not happy.  Her happiness is very important to me. Is there some site I can visit and find help for us?  I think she is planning to see some "Phyc" on Friday and I hope she can find answers she can live with. Don’t get me wrong, I am not a depressed acting guy or needy, clingy, or anything like that.  I act very positive and happy all the time.  I don’t ever intend to bring others down with my problems. I just need a little advise and direction right now.  Can anyone help me? Thank you for any help you may offer.

Response:

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