I really can't think of a compelling reason to go on living.
Seth, I sure do agree with you about Hollywood and the American Ideal. But I know it bs and so do alot of "regular" people. I try to teach my kids that’s just TV too. Shit, your house is supposed to be spotless, your teeth white and your dog well behaved!!! Like I said many of us know it’s bs. My husband and I laugh at the "big stars" promoting saving the whales, or a political candidate. Who are you and why do you think we should care what you say???? These Hollywood actors think that they have a God given talent, HA !!! Have hope my friend, not everyone out there is that shallow. Sure seems like it sometimes. I wish you had someone special in your life, someone who really understand what life is all about,it helps. I just do my own thing now, take care of what I have, and try not to worry about all the other stuff. It seems like we really know what life is about and have trouble coping with all the shit!!!! Not the other way around!
I feel very well the same yo, do and I can’t wait until I say "good-bye" and be done. I would suggest to volunteer at your local clinic and wee what other people go trough. Help them a little as a volunteer and It may change your mind, At this point I got too may things relaying on me, but if not…C ya. niki
Well Niki, I WISH I could say.."No…there’s a million reasons to live.."..but I can’t. The only way I can think of motivation to live is to use my imagination. In other words, escape to the farthest corners of my mind. Now, bear with me here. The reality of everday life does suck…so I think to myself, everyday, what can I do to change my day around. Thats why I think this world is so frigged up…especially here in North America…everything is planned out..right to the day we die!!! I think most of us who suffer from depression/anxiety really hate the fact we don’t fit into this "die-cast perfect" little mold that television and hollywood tells us is "the way we should be living and thinking! Screw it, and screw that ideal!!! Our society is too damn "practical" oriented….there is no room for creativity, imagination, etc. I am 28, unemployed, no "romance" in my life, only a few good friends, but yes, I do consider myself lucky. BUT…Hollywood says we should all strive to be rich, perfect, the best looking, etc. I DON’T fit into that mold. And most of the population doesn’t either. So why the hell even bother struggling to reach those "goals", when they are just superficial, materialistic pieces of crap! And, somehow, if we DOn’T achieve these things..we are to blame. We are considered "lazy…incompitent…stupid…useless". That puts a HELL of alot of shame and guilt on our shoulders, and it SHOULDN"T be there. Now, I HATE advice, but I must say something one of my mentors, Leo Buscaglia said (who just died recently..bless his soul:), look VERY deep into your heartful, creative imagination. What is it telling you??? Is something in your life not right?? Are you in the right job?? Are you in the right relationship?? Are you being who YOU want to be. Thats what I am in the process of doing…and NO, I still havent found my answers yet. BUT, somehow, I can feel truth, every now and again, for every setback, pull me a bit closer. So, in a nutshell, I’m saying, look at who YOU want to be…follow your feelings and your heart. Throw in a bit of practical sence, and maybe some answers will come to you. Anyways, this is how I am at after 7 years of dealing with depression/anxiety. No, there IS no gurantee, and you and I will certainly slip off of our paths hundreds of times over. But please…don’t let the pressure of the world we live in force you into that corner of darkness. This has been one of my realizations of depression, and without the depression, I may not have realized it, and may have not become that much more "insightful" today. I would definetly recommend reading some of Leo Buscaglia’s books, for they were not filled with preachy crap…just alot of insight into the simple things of daily living. Or even Thomas Moore, who wrote a great book called "Care of the Soul". So….thats really all I have to say. Certainly, no answers, or no "formula". BUT, we had a chance to interact deeply as humans, and that, to me, is what being a complete person, and living a complete life, depressed or not, is all about. Peace Seth:-) — City of Angels http://members.tripod.com/~hopeflguy/index.html "Have a drink. Get naked and party. Here’s to rational activity and the Blank Canvas. Here’s to us all. Look Out! Elephant Crossing…." Neil Peart, The Masked Rider, 1996
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