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ARRRGGGGGGG

Question:

Simon wrote: > Did I care that she was happy with having a boyfriend? > Yes, she was a really good friend to me, and one of only about 4 friends > that I have. I did care about whether she was happy with her boyfriend > or not, afterall she’s my friend. > Did I mind that she was happy with having a boyfriend? > No. > Will she die when I come to power? > Her fate rests on that Ouiji Board sitting somewhere among the piles of > paper in my room.

    Now, I’m going to infer that, yes, you were happy for her, *but*, you were also unhappy that you didn’t have a relationship of your own *and* you were unhappy that she wasn’t responding as she should have to your news.     Assuming that I have inferred correctly, instead of reacting angrily ( and as I’ve said before, you cannot control someone’s actions, but you *can* control your reactions), you might have said, "I’m happy that you have someone in your life that’s important to you, but I kind of feel badly that I don’t.  Can you understand what I mean?"  In this way, you would have made her aware of your feelings *and* you would have asked for her to interract with you.  In effect, giving her a place to "go" in the conversation, that would have taken her off her *I* subject and into a conversation about you.  Also, helping her to understand that you have feelings, too, and that you are trusting her with them.  Get the drift?  : ) J         "Rivers belong where they can ramble             Eagles belong where they can fly               I’ve got to be where my spirit can run free                   Gotta find my corner of the sky."

Response:

Simon <"Localhost"@[127.0.0.1]> wrote in message

<6kqmmd$…@examiner.concentric.net>… >I was talking to my friend earlier, and knowing damn well I don’t have >any friends, let alone a girl friend, she kept saying "I’m so in love" >and shit like "he’s so wonderful, I’m in love!!" Ok, good, and she kept >reiterating it 10 times every minute.

Simon: I get this way with people, when I’m so pissed and envious of their lives that I feel that when they talk about it, that they are purposely trying to rub it in that my own life isn’t up to par.  I think you have to keep in mind that 1) she doesn’t understand your point of view even if she says she does and 2) you should humor your friends when they want to talk to you about something good that’s happening to them. I wouldn’t stay upset with her if I were you. Mike

Response:

Simon Says  ( sorry about that =o)  )……….. >Did I care that she was happy with having a boyfriend?

 Yes, she was a really good friend to me, and one of only about 4 friends that I have. <><><><><><>   **WAS** , Simon?   why ‘was’?    You and she had an argument,   good friends will talk bout their feelings with each other instead of just assuming…..and a fight does not mean the end to a friendship. In your original post your very first sentence says that you have no friends….but that is not a true statement…..you really do. You have spoken of having at least four friends and that is more than alot of other people have.    Treat them they way that you would have them treat you….. If she was hurting your feelings by making the statements she was making then you have to let her know that instead of putting up with it.   Tell her you are glad for her and her feelings for this other man, but right then you were not willing to keep hearing it over and over and ask if you could change the subject. I think that you both should see each other today and talk all this over.   Don’t lose a friend over something like this… jan

Response:

Hi Simon <"Localhost"@[127.0.0.1]>  and all lurkers on alt.support.loneliness ! On 31 May 1998 00:35:25 EDT, You wrote: >…"ok, so I’ve lived without any friends for all my life, >you don’t have to rub it in and suck the fun out of it!" and she’s says >"shut up" "I’ve lived without friends too" Bullshit. I’ve seen her hang >around more friends than I can remember. I really thought that she was a >friend. She acts like she knows how it is to have lived a whole life >without any friends. From what she’s told me, she moved around a lot but >she also talked about doing stuff with people when she was young. She >has no fucking idea how it is to have to go to school everyday with no >one to talk to and walk home everyday thinking about how the one friend >in my life is on the net 2000 miles away. So I got pissed because she >just kept talking about how good *her* life is, and who is being blamed? >ME! What the hell is wrong with these people?

Oh … why wanting her to participate in your "loners competition" ? I would rather see it from that point: She trusted you as a friend … you got one and didn’t even know, neither acknowledge … she wanted to share her happiest feelings with you, and you just got plain envy. I guess now she’s at least as much pissed off … Sorry for that harsh statement, but it seems you have to hit rock bottom first before you can crawl up again … may it be with the energy that anger gives you … Good Luck, however, Walter ————— All life is chemistry, and thoughts are the catalysts ICQ #4918962 —————————— Due to excessive amounts of UCE, I had to edit my email address. Apologize the inconvenience. Please remove the obvious to reply, thanks.

Response:

You know, I do think many of our problems are caused by miscommunication – especially between men and women. I remember reading that women are more likely to want to share emotions and establish similarities in conversation, while men are more often competitive in their conversations. So, can you consider the possibility that your friend, after hearing your good news about the computer sale, wanted to share her positive experience as her way of establishing closeness. Then she kind of went on a bit too much about her feelings, not because she wanted to make you feel bad, but because she wanted to share with you. And then when you talked about having no friends, she again responded in what the books I have read would consider a typically female way – she tried to let you know she understood  your feelings, that she had similar experiences and had also felt friendless at times. But as a male, you interpreted both situations as being competitive – first, that her happiness was better than yours, and second that her lack of friends was better than yours. She’s probably still puzzled about why you felt hurt over something she intended as a way of sharing and feeling closer. I found the book (I think it’s called "That’s Not What I Meant" or something similar) very helpful –  you might look for it. Teresa

Response:

Sorry, I said "did I care that she was happy…etc" and I just responded with the same "was" and forgot to change it to an "is" I’m (was) just really tired and irritated right now, tests (and a helluva lot of them), school, life, et cetera. Didn’t really pay attention to it. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Luvz2laf wrote: > Simon Says  ( sorry about that =o)  )……….. > <><><><><><>   **WAS** , Simon?   why ‘was’?    You and she had an argument, > good friends will talk bout their feelings with each other instead of just > assuming…..and a fight does not mean the end to a friendship. > In your original post your very first sentence says that you have no > friends….but that is not a true statement…..you really do. > You have spoken of having at least four friends and that is more than alot of > other people have.    Treat them they way that you would have them treat > you….. > If she was hurting your feelings by making the statements she was making then > you have to let her know that instead of putting up with it.   Tell her you are > glad for her and her feelings for this other man, but right then you were not > willing to keep hearing it over and over and ask if you could change the > subject. > I think that you both should see each other today and talk all this over. > Don’t lose a friend over something like this… > jan

–                                                 Yours sincerely,                                                            Simon —                               This e-mail does not use any endangered species of text. It is environment friendly and all the text can be recycled. For PGP key finger milky…@finger.concentric.net My ICQ UIN is 2086171 My AIM Nickname is SLVoid —–BEGIN GEEK CODE BLOCK—– Version: 3.12 GCS/CM/SS d? s–: a— C++>$ UL P L+ E– W++ N+++ O K? W+ O- M– V– PS@ PE- Y+ PGP+ t++(*) 5+ X+++ R tv(++) b++ DI+++ D+ G+ e- h! r–(—) !y+ —–END GEEK CODE BLOCK—– Useless quote of the day: "You want to commit suicide? I’ll tell you how, old age, it’s the slowest damn method, but so far, it’s been proven to be 100% successful."

Response:

Hi catnip3…@aol.com (CATNIP3700)  and all silent listeners on alt.support.loneliness ! On 31 May 1998 19:40:41 GMT, You wrote: >Good to see you again, Walter. It’s been a while. (-: >m.j.

Thanks for the warm welcome ! I must admit, I have felt run over somehow … the enormous increase in posting frequency here since March … and also felt worn out somehow. Also, Ric’s disappearance made me wonder … No, I never really stopped listening here, though maybe half-heartedly and enjoying other tools & toys like ICQ ;-) . Yes, and my conscience continued to nag *just a little bit* also, *giggle*  … you can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave (Hotel California) ————— All life is chemistry, and thoughts are the catalysts ICQ #4918962 —————————— Due to excessive amounts of UCE, I had to edit my email address. Apologize the inconvenience. Please remove the obvious to reply, thanks.

Response:

"oh stut up" Yeah, that’s the female way… I guess we were both tired and irritable that night. We’re not pissed off at each other anymore, and I’ve taken her off "the list" T Pitman wrote: > she again responded in

what the books I have read would consider a typically female way – she tried > to let you know she understood  your feelings, that she had similar > experiences and had also felt friendless at times.

–                                                 Yours sincerely,                                                            Simon —                               This e-mail does not use any endangered species of text. It is environment friendly and all the text can be recycled. For PGP key finger milky…@finger.concentric.net My ICQ UIN is 2086171 My AIM Nickname is SLVoid —–BEGIN GEEK CODE BLOCK—– Version: 3.12 GCS/CM/SS d? s–: a— C++>$ UL P L+ E– W++ N+++ O K? W+ O- M– V– PS@ PE- Y+ PGP+ t++(*) 5+ X+++ R tv(++) b++ DI+++ D+ G+ e- h! r–(—) !y+ —–END GEEK CODE BLOCK—– Useless quote of the day: "You want to commit suicide? I’ll tell you how, old age, it’s the slowest damn method, but so far, it’s been proven to be 100% successful."

Response:

I’m guessing it’s that "blinded by love" thing. I talked to her today, everything’s cool, urge to kill fading… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -CATNIP3700 wrote: > Hey, Simon > That must have hurt. It seems there are some people who are so caught up with > their own lives that they fail to relate to or even see how other’s are > feeling.  Sort of an emotional blindness. It hurts even more if you are the > type that tries to look out for others and empathize with what they are going > thru. It hurts when someone, especially a friend, cannot do the same for you. > I’ve never had a girlfriend in my life but I imagine if I did, I could see > myself in some ridiculous happy trip like her. I dont know her but I dont know > if she really meant to be insensitive. She may just be blind and clueless. I > believe LadyJ had an excellent suggestion that you should say how happy you are > for her while letting her know how unhappy you feel and how much you could use > a friend right now. Just like she really needs someone to hear  how happy she > is, you also need someone to tell how hard things are for you right now. True > friends should be able to expect support as well as give it.

–                                                 Yours sincerely,                                                            Simon —                               This e-mail does not use any endangered species of text. It is environment friendly and all the text can be recycled. For PGP key finger milky…@finger.concentric.net My ICQ UIN is 2086171 My AIM Nickname is SLVoid —–BEGIN GEEK CODE BLOCK—– Version: 3.12 GCS/CM/SS d? s–: a— C++>$ UL P L+ E– W++ N+++ O K? W+ O- M– V– PS@ PE- Y+ PGP+ t++(*) 5+ X+++ R tv(++) b++ DI+++ D+ G+ e- h! r–(—) !y+ —–END GEEK CODE BLOCK—– Useless quote of the day: "You want to commit suicide? I’ll tell you how, old age, it’s the slowest damn method, but so far, it’s been proven to be 100% successful."

Response:

What competition? I DID know that she was my friend. I’ve said that to her. I trust her as a friend. She wanted to share her happiness and I’m happy for her. Then she just started sharing it at inappropriate times and I just got plain pissed off. I would appreciate it if she would just let me share my happiness with her for once without her putting it down and saying that she has true happiness and I only made a couple of bucks. Try looking at things from another point. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -alien wrote: > Hi Simon <"Localhost"@[127.0.0.1]>  and all lurkers on > alt.support.loneliness ! On 31 May 1998 00:35:25 EDT, You wrote: > Oh … why wanting her to participate in your "loners competition" ? > I would rather see it from that point: She trusted you as a friend … > you got one and didn’t even know, neither acknowledge … she wanted to > share her happiest feelings with you, and you just got plain envy. > I guess now she’s at least as much pissed off … > Sorry for that harsh statement, but it seems you have to hit rock bottom > first before you can crawl up again … may it be with the energy that > anger gives you … > Good Luck, however, > Walter > ————— > All life is chemistry, > and thoughts are the catalysts > ICQ #4918962 > —————————— > Due to excessive amounts of UCE, I > had to edit my email address. > Apologize the inconvenience. > Please remove the obvious to reply, thanks.

–                                                 Yours sincerely,                                                            Simon —                               This e-mail does not use any endangered species of text. It is environment friendly and all the text can be recycled. For PGP key finger milky…@finger.concentric.net My ICQ UIN is 2086171 My AIM Nickname is SLVoid —–BEGIN GEEK CODE BLOCK—– Version: 3.12 GCS/CM/SS d? s–: a— C++>$ UL P L+ E– W++ N+++ O K? W+ O- M– V– PS@ PE- Y+ PGP+ t++(*) 5+ X+++ R tv(++) b++ DI+++ D+ G+ e- h! r–(—) !y+ —–END GEEK CODE BLOCK—– Useless quote of the day: "You want to commit suicide? I’ll tell you how, old age, it’s the slowest damn method, but so far, it’s been proven to be 100% successful."

Response:

>I was talking to my friend earlier, and knowing damn well I don’t have >any friends, let alone a girl friend, she kept saying "I’m so in love" >and shit like "he’s so wonderful, I’m in love!!" Ok, good, and she kept >reiterating it 10 times every minute. At this point, I’m thinking to >myself "ok then, I’ll just sit here, maybe she’ll talk about something >else" And just before, I was talking to her and I was really happy cause >I made 200 bucks selling a computer, and she just had to suck the fun >out of it by saying "yeah, I’m happier".

Hey, Simon That must have hurt. It seems there are some people who are so caught up with their own lives that they fail to relate to or even see how other’s are feeling.  Sort of an emotional blindness. It hurts even more if you are the type that tries to look out for others and empathize with what they are going thru. It hurts when someone, especially a friend, cannot do the same for you. I’ve never had a girlfriend in my life but I imagine if I did, I could see myself in some ridiculous happy trip like her. I dont know her but I dont know if she really meant to be insensitive. She may just be blind and clueless. I believe LadyJ had an excellent suggestion that you should say how happy you are for her while letting her know how unhappy you feel and how much you could use a friend right now. Just like she really needs someone to hear  how happy she is, you also need someone to tell how hard things are for you right now. True friends should be able to expect support as well as give it. > At this point, I’m really >pissed and say "ok, so I’ve lived without any friends for all my life, >you don’t have to rub it in and suck the fun out of it!" and she’s says >"shut up" "I’ve lived without friends too" Bullshit. I’ve seen her hang >around more friends than I can remember. I really thought that she was a >friend. She acts like she knows how it is to have lived a whole life >without any friends. From what she’s told me, she moved around a lot but >she also talked about doing stuff with people when she was young. She >has no fucking idea how it is to have to go to school everyday with no >one to talk to and walk home everyday thinking about how the one friend >in my life is on the net 2000 miles away. So I got pissed because she >just kept talking about how good *her* life is, and who is being blamed? >ME! What the hell is wrong with these people?

I think it all goes back to perspective. Some people with a million friends get lonely if they go an hour without a phone call. Others are perfectly content to be on their own for weeks without human contact. Strange as it may sound, loneliness is a very personal thing and what is lonely for one person may not necessarily lonely for someone else. When she said she has been lonely, she probably truly believed it. And the first month or so when she moved somewhere else, she probably was very lonely. As with any relationship, communication is the key. You need to make her understand how you are feeling. It appears you 2 are kind of on differant wavelengths right now so talking about how you feel and how her comments made you feel seems like the best way to get over what may have just been a big misunderstanding. Trying to understand what each other is going thru and feeling is far more productive than trying to find something "wrong" with each other. Yours sincerely, >                                                       Simon

Good luck, Simon Hope you two stay friends, m.j.

Response:

Reiterating the same thing over and over again every time we talk… she knows that I’m know that she’s happy about her relationship, I just got really pissed because she just kept rubbing it in and saying it at totally unappropriate times. Thanks for the advice, I’ll look up that book when I have time. I’m just really tired and irritable this weekend and I just got even more irritable today after reading (or trying to read) a damn book for my english essay and remembering that I have 4 tests to study for next week with the finals coming up in another… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -T Pitman wrote: > You know, I do think many of our problems are caused by miscommunication – > especially between men and women. I remember reading that women are more > likely to want to share emotions and establish similarities in conversation, > while men are more often competitive in their conversations. > So, can you consider the possibility that your friend, after hearing your > good news about the computer sale, wanted to share her positive experience > as her way of establishing closeness. Then she kind of went on a bit too > much about her feelings, not because she wanted to make you feel bad, but > because she wanted to share with you. > And then when you talked about having no friends, she again responded in > what the books I have read would consider a typically female way – she tried > to let you know she understood  your feelings, that she had similar > experiences and had also felt friendless at times. > But as a male, you interpreted both situations as being competitive – first, > that her happiness was better than yours, and second that her lack of > friends was better than yours. She’s probably still puzzled about why you > felt hurt over something she intended as a way of sharing and feeling > closer. > I found the book (I think it’s called "That’s Not What I Meant" or something > similar) very helpful –  you might look for it. > Teresa

–                                                 Yours sincerely,                                                            Simon —                               This e-mail does not use any endangered species of text. It is environment friendly and all the text can be recycled. For PGP key finger milky…@finger.concentric.net My ICQ UIN is 2086171 My AIM Nickname is SLVoid —–BEGIN GEEK CODE BLOCK—– Version: 3.12 GCS/CM/SS d? s–: a— C++>$ UL P L+ E– W++ N+++ O K? W+ O- M– V– PS@ PE- Y+ PGP+ t++(*) 5+ X+++ R tv(++) b++ DI+++ D+ G+ e- h! r–(—) !y+ —–END GEEK CODE BLOCK—– Useless quote of the day: "You want to commit suicide? I’ll tell you how, old age, it’s the slowest damn method, but so far, it’s been proven to be 100% successful."

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -T Pitman wrote: > You know, I do think many of our problems are caused by miscommunication – > especially between men and women. I remember reading that women are more > likely to want to share emotions and establish similarities in conversation, > while men are more often competitive in their conversations. > So, can you consider the possibility that your friend, after hearing your > good news about the computer sale, wanted to share her positive experience > as her way of establishing closeness. Then she kind of went on a bit too > much about her feelings, not because she wanted to make you feel bad, but > because she wanted to share with you. > And then when you talked about having no friends, she again responded in > what the books I have read would consider a typically female way – she tried > to let you know she understood  your feelings, that she had similar > experiences and had also felt friendless at times. > But as a male, you interpreted both situations as being competitive – first, > that her happiness was better than yours, and second that her lack of > friends was better than yours. She’s probably still puzzled about why you > felt hurt over something she intended as a way of sharing and feeling > closer. > I found the book (I think it’s called "That’s Not What I Meant" or something > similar) very helpful –  you might look for it. > Teresa

     We might *all* want to take a look at it!!  That was a great explanation and if I had a nickle for every time I said, "That’s not what I meant" and have been totally confused as to why someone thought that, I wouldn’t have to be trying to win this darn Texas Lotto!  Thanks, Hugs, J —         "Rivers belong where they can ramble             Eagles belong where they can fly               I’ve got to be where my spirit can run free                   Gotta find my corner of the sky."

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Oh … why wanting her to participate in your "loners competition" ? >I would rather see it from that point: She trusted you as a friend … >you got one and didn’t even know, neither acknowledge … she wanted to >share her happiest feelings with you, and you just got plain envy. >I guess now she’s at least as much pissed off … >Sorry for that harsh statement, but it seems you have to hit rock bottom >first before you can crawl up again … may it be with the energy that >anger gives you … >Good Luck, however, >Walter >————— >All life is chemistry, >and thoughts are the catalysts >ICQ #4918962 >——————————

Good to see you again, Walter. It’s been a while. (-: m.j.

Response:

Did I care that she was happy with having a boyfriend? Yes, she was a really good friend to me, and one of only about 4 friends that I have. I did care about whether she was happy with her boyfriend or not, afterall she’s my friend. Did I mind that she was happy with having a boyfriend? No. Will she die when I come to power? Her fate rests on that Ouiji Board sitting somewhere among the piles of paper in my room. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -LadyJ3 wrote: > Ok, darlin’.  Now a toughie.  Did you care that she was happy with having a boyfriend? > encouraging hugs, J > Simon wrote: > > Although not driving it in too deep, you hit the nail on the head. I’m > > not sure if she feels good about herself or not, she probably does. She > > didn’t ask about it or anything. From what she said (or did not say), no > > I don’t think she even cared about whether I was happy or not about > > selling that computer. > > LadyJ3 wrote: > > > I see.  It kind of sounds like you were wanting her to be happy that you were > > > happy at selling your computer and she was more interested in telling you that > > > she was happier than you were, ’cause she has a boyfriend.  Is that it?  Sounds > > > like she doesn’t feel very good about herself if she has to sort of be in > > > competition about who’s life is better.  Did she even say she was happy about you > > > selling your computer?  J. > > — > >                                                 Yours sincerely, > >                                                            Simon > > — > > This e-mail does not use any endangered species of text. It is > > environment friendly and all the text can be recycled. > > For PGP key finger milky…@finger.concentric.net > > My ICQ UIN is 2086171 My AIM Nickname is SLVoid > > —–BEGIN GEEK CODE BLOCK—– > > Version: 3.12 > > GCS/CM/SS d? s–: a— C++>$ UL P L+ E– > > W++ N+++ O K? W+ O- M– V– PS@ PE- Y+ > > PGP+ t++(*) 5+ X+++ R tv(++) b++ DI+++ D+ > > G+ e- h! r–(—) !y+ > > —–END GEEK CODE BLOCK—– > > Useless quote of the day: > > "You want to commit suicide? I’ll tell you how, old age, it’s the > > slowest damn method, but so far, it’s been proven to be 100% > > successful." > — >         "Rivers belong where they can ramble >             Eagles belong where they can fly >               I’ve got to be where my spirit can run free >                   Gotta find my corner of the sky."

–                                                 Yours sincerely,                                                            Simon —                               This e-mail does not use any endangered species of text. It is environment friendly and all the text can be recycled. For PGP key finger milky…@finger.concentric.net My ICQ UIN is 2086171 My AIM Nickname is SLVoid —–BEGIN GEEK CODE BLOCK—– Version: 3.12 GCS/CM/SS d? s–: a— C++>$ UL P L+ E– W++ N+++ O K? W+ O- M– V– PS@ PE- Y+ PGP+ t++(*) 5+ X+++ R tv(++) b++ DI+++ D+ G+ e- h! r–(—) !y+ —–END GEEK CODE BLOCK—– Useless quote of the day: "You want to commit suicide? I’ll tell you how, old age, it’s the slowest damn method, but so far, it’s been proven to be 100% successful."

Response:

Ok, darlin’.  Now a toughie.  Did you care that she was happy with having a boyfriend? encouraging hugs, J – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Simon wrote: > Although not driving it in too deep, you hit the nail on the head. I’m > not sure if she feels good about herself or not, she probably does. She > didn’t ask about it or anything. From what she said (or did not say), no > I don’t think she even cared about whether I was happy or not about > selling that computer. > LadyJ3 wrote: > > I see.  It kind of sounds like you were wanting her to be happy that you were > > happy at selling your computer and she was more interested in telling you that > > she was happier than you were, ’cause she has a boyfriend.  Is that it?  Sounds > > like she doesn’t feel very good about herself if she has to sort of be in > > competition about who’s life is better.  Did she even say she was happy about you > > selling your computer?  J. > — >                                                 Yours sincerely, >                                                            Simon > — > This e-mail does not use any endangered species of text. It is > environment friendly and all the text can be recycled. > For PGP key finger milky…@finger.concentric.net > My ICQ UIN is 2086171 My AIM Nickname is SLVoid > —–BEGIN GEEK CODE BLOCK—– > Version: 3.12 > GCS/CM/SS d? s–: a— C++>$ UL P L+ E– > W++ N+++ O K? W+ O- M– V– PS@ PE- Y+ > PGP+ t++(*) 5+ X+++ R tv(++) b++ DI+++ D+ > G+ e- h! r–(—) !y+ > —–END GEEK CODE BLOCK—– > Useless quote of the day: > "You want to commit suicide? I’ll tell you how, old age, it’s the > slowest damn method, but so far, it’s been proven to be 100% > successful."

–         "Rivers belong where they can ramble             Eagles belong where they can fly               I’ve got to be where my spirit can run free                   Gotta find my corner of the sky."

Response:

Although not driving it in too deep, you hit the nail on the head. I’m not sure if she feels good about herself or not, she probably does. She didn’t ask about it or anything. From what she said (or did not say), no I don’t think she even cared about whether I was happy or not about selling that computer. LadyJ3 wrote: > I see.  It kind of sounds like you were wanting her to be happy that you were > happy at selling your computer and she was more interested in telling you that > she was happier than you were, ’cause she has a boyfriend.  Is that it?  Sounds > like she doesn’t feel very good about herself if she has to sort of be in > competition about who’s life is better.  Did she even say she was happy about you > selling your computer?  J.

–                                                 Yours sincerely,                                                            Simon —                               This e-mail does not use any endangered species of text. It is environment friendly and all the text can be recycled. For PGP key finger milky…@finger.concentric.net My ICQ UIN is 2086171 My AIM Nickname is SLVoid —–BEGIN GEEK CODE BLOCK—– Version: 3.12 GCS/CM/SS d? s–: a— C++>$ UL P L+ E– W++ N+++ O K? W+ O- M– V– PS@ PE- Y+ PGP+ t++(*) 5+ X+++ R tv(++) b++ DI+++ D+ G+ e- h! r–(—) !y+ —–END GEEK CODE BLOCK—– Useless quote of the day: "You want to commit suicide? I’ll tell you how, old age, it’s the slowest damn method, but so far, it’s been proven to be 100% successful."

Response:

I see.  It kind of sounds like you were wanting her to be happy that you were happy at selling your computer and she was more interested in telling you that she was happier than you were, ’cause she has a boyfriend.  Is that it?  Sounds like she doesn’t feel very good about herself if she has to sort of be in competition about who’s life is better.  Did she even say she was happy about you selling your computer?  J. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Simon wrote: > There is no contest. I’m her friend, I don’t really care whether she has > friends or not, but I’m not sure if she wants to be *my* friend anymore, > the way she’s acting. > Once again (in response to your last comment), it doesn’t matter if my > friends have other friends or not. It was the fact that she just really > kept shoving her life in my face knowing damn well that it was something > I never had. And finally when I got angry, she acted like everything was > MY fault. > — >                                                 Yours sincerely, >                                                            Simon > — > This e-mail does not use any endangered species of text. It is > environment friendly and all the text can be recycled. > For PGP key finger milky…@finger.concentric.net > My ICQ UIN is 2086171 My AIM Nickname is SLVoid > —–BEGIN GEEK CODE BLOCK—– > Version: 3.12 > GCS/CM/SS d? s–: a— C++>$ UL P L+ E– > W++ N+++ O K? W+ O- M– V– PS@ PE- Y+ > PGP+ t++(*) 5+ X+++ R tv(++) b++ DI+++ D+ > G+ e- h! r–(—) !y+ > —–END GEEK CODE BLOCK—– > Useless quote of the day: > "You want to commit suicide? I’ll tell you how, old age, it’s the > slowest damn method, but so far, it’s been proven to be 100% > successful."

–         "Rivers belong where they can ramble             Eagles belong where they can fly               I’ve got to be where my spirit can run free                   Gotta find my corner of the sky."

Response:

LadyJ3 wrote: > Darlin’, she doesn’t sound like a real nice friend.  

She’s a nice friend, at least was. Now I don’t know what she is anymore. I used to think it would be hell to lose her as a friend, but as of now, I could care less if she were to die right now, this very moment. >I also think that when > someone’s going on and on about something you don’t care to listen to, you > have a couple of choices.  You can tell them straight that you’d prefer to > talk about something else, or you can change the subject.  You can do both > things gently, without anger and without being rude.

She kind of pops it up an random most of the time. So there’s no way to gently change the subject. >     Is it like a contest, sort of.  "I have less friends than you." type of > thing?  Just because someone has or has had friends, is not a reason to be > feeling they can’t be your friend.  Maybe not this particular gal.  She > sounds kind of shallow to me, too, the way you describe her.  But, does it > matter to you so much that you have a friend who hasn’t had other friends, > so they know how you truly feel?  Hugs, J

There is no contest. I’m her friend, I don’t really care whether she has friends or not, but I’m not sure if she wants to be *my* friend anymore, the way she’s acting. Once again (in response to your last comment), it doesn’t matter if my friends have other friends or not. It was the fact that she just really kept shoving her life in my face knowing damn well that it was something I never had. And finally when I got angry, she acted like everything was MY fault. —                                                 Yours sincerely,                                                            Simon —                               This e-mail does not use any endangered species of text. It is environment friendly and all the text can be recycled. For PGP key finger milky…@finger.concentric.net My ICQ UIN is 2086171 My AIM Nickname is SLVoid —–BEGIN GEEK CODE BLOCK—– Version: 3.12 GCS/CM/SS d? s–: a— C++>$ UL P L+ E– W++ N+++ O K? W+ O- M– V– PS@ PE- Y+ PGP+ t++(*) 5+ X+++ R tv(++) b++ DI+++ D+ G+ e- h! r–(—) !y+ —–END GEEK CODE BLOCK—– Useless quote of the day: "You want to commit suicide? I’ll tell you how, old age, it’s the slowest damn method, but so far, it’s been proven to be 100% successful."

Response:

Darlin’, she doesn’t sound like a real nice friend.  I also think that when someone’s going on and on about something you don’t care to listen to, you have a couple of choices.  You can tell them straight that you’d prefer to talk about something else, or you can change the subject.  You can do both things gently, without anger and without being rude.     Is it like a contest, sort of.  "I have less friends than you." type of thing?  Just because someone has or has had friends, is not a reason to be feeling they can’t be your friend.  Maybe not this particular gal.  She sounds kind of shallow to me, too, the way you describe her.  But, does it matter to you so much that you have a friend who hasn’t had other friends, so they know how you truly feel?  Hugs, J – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Simon wrote: > I was talking to my friend earlier, and knowing damn well I don’t have > any friends, let alone a girl friend, she kept saying "I’m so in love" > and shit like "he’s so wonderful, I’m in love!!" Ok, good, and she kept > reiterating it 10 times every minute. At this point, I’m thinking to > myself "ok then, I’ll just sit here, maybe she’ll talk about something > else" And just before, I was talking to her and I was really happy cause > I made 200 bucks selling a computer, and she just had to suck the fun > out of it by saying "yeah, I’m happier". At this point, I’m really > pissed and say "ok, so I’ve lived without any friends for all my life, > you don’t have to rub it in and suck the fun out of it!" and she’s says > "shut up" "I’ve lived without friends too" Bullshit. I’ve seen her hang > around more friends than I can remember. I really thought that she was a > friend. She acts like she knows how it is to have lived a whole life > without any friends. From what she’s told me, she moved around a lot but > she also talked about doing stuff with people when she was young. She > has no fucking idea how it is to have to go to school everyday with no > one to talk to and walk home everyday thinking about how the one friend > in my life is on the net 2000 miles away. So I got pissed because she > just kept talking about how good *her* life is, and who is being blamed? > ME! What the hell is wrong with these people? > — >                                                 Yours sincerely, >                                                            Simon > — > This e-mail does not use any endangered species of text. It is > environment friendly and all the text can be recycled. > For PGP key finger milky…@finger.concentric.net > My ICQ UIN is 2086171 My AIM Nickname is SLVoid > —–BEGIN GEEK CODE BLOCK—– > Version: 3.12 > GCS/CM/SS d? s–: a— C++>$ UL P L+ E– > W++ N+++ O K? W+ O- M– V– PS@ PE- Y+ > PGP+ t++(*) 5+ X+++ R tv(++) b++ DI+++ D+ > G+ e- h! r–(—) !y+ > —–END GEEK CODE BLOCK—– > Useless quote of the day: > "You want to commit suicide? I’ll tell you how, old age, it’s the > slowest damn method, but so far, it’s been proven to be 100% > successful."

–         "Rivers belong where they can ramble             Eagles belong where they can fly               I’ve got to be where my spirit can run free                   Gotta find my corner of the sky."

Response:

I was talking to my friend earlier, and knowing damn well I don’t have any friends, let alone a girl friend, she kept saying "I’m so in love" and shit like "he’s so wonderful, I’m in love!!" Ok, good, and she kept reiterating it 10 times every minute. At this point, I’m thinking to myself "ok then, I’ll just sit here, maybe she’ll talk about something else" And just before, I was talking to her and I was really happy cause I made 200 bucks selling a computer, and she just had to suck the fun out of it by saying "yeah, I’m happier". At this point, I’m really pissed and say "ok, so I’ve lived without any friends for all my life, you don’t have to rub it in and suck the fun out of it!" and she’s says "shut up" "I’ve lived without friends too" Bullshit. I’ve seen her hang around more friends than I can remember. I really thought that she was a friend. She acts like she knows how it is to have lived a whole life without any friends. From what she’s told me, she moved around a lot but she also talked about doing stuff with people when she was young. She has no fucking idea how it is to have to go to school everyday with no one to talk to and walk home everyday thinking about how the one friend in my life is on the net 2000 miles away. So I got pissed because she just kept talking about how good *her* life is, and who is being blamed? ME! What the hell is wrong with these people? —                                                 Yours sincerely,                                                            Simon —                               This e-mail does not use any endangered species of text. It is environment friendly and all the text can be recycled. For PGP key finger milky…@finger.concentric.net My ICQ UIN is 2086171 My AIM Nickname is SLVoid —–BEGIN GEEK CODE BLOCK—– Version: 3.12 GCS/CM/SS d? s–: a— C++>$ UL P L+ E– W++ N+++ O K? W+ O- M– V– PS@ PE- Y+ PGP+ t++(*) 5+ X+++ R tv(++) b++ DI+++ D+ G+ e- h! r–(—) !y+ —–END GEEK CODE BLOCK—– Useless quote of the day: "You want to commit suicide? I’ll tell you how, old age, it’s the slowest damn method, but so far, it’s been proven to be 100% successful."

Response:

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