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anxious space-outs

Question:

In response to your post, Please let me repost what I wrote sometime ago about feeling unreal. I hope this fits a little bit. THAT FEELING OF UNREALITY, OR DEPERSONALIZATION This feeling is often mistaken for "feeling crazy" and a harbinger of pending insanity. Actually it has nothing to do with insanity nor mental illness. This feeling  stems from a state of PREOCCUPATION.

     I have heard derealization sometimes compared to the state of shock the body goes into when preparing for the worst.  If anxiety/panic is taken to an extreme and enough Adrenaline- Ephinephrine was released….could this not be a similar situation?   Remilliard

Response:

(KDavis5604) writes: THAT FEELING OF UNREALITY, OR DEPERSONALIZATION I’ve been in the gotta test tomorrow where the hell am I at now mode, and I’ve been in the "OH MY GOD,WHOSE DRIVING THE CAR?" mode,

OK, gotta question relating to this. I will relate two things that happened to me, and tell me if it is depersonalization or not. 1. I was leaving a movie theater with my tow kids. As soon as I saw my thought "Oh no!! My husband is not here, I am all alone with my kids, who is going to drive??? DO I KNOW how to drive???!! Since I didn’t see my husband I assumed I had drove the car to the theater, so I assumed I knew how to drive. So I drove home, but I was scared to death as if it was the first time I ever drove. 2- Many times I have a feeling of dejavu (or depersonalization?) I am doing something or seeing something, and I feel like spaced out, like I am floating, like I am seeing a video of what’s going on, and I think "Didn’t this happen before?" The exact same thing? Am I relieving something that already happen?" OK, tell me what was that??!!! uh?? I hope that has a name and an explanation :) Rosita Rosita Rosita wait! Didn’t I sign  Rosita before??? hmmmmmmmmm

Response:

No one answered my question, so I’ll ask it again..and again, until someone answers it just to get it over with :) OK, gotta question. I will relate two things that happened to me, and tell me if it is depersonalization or not. 1. I was leaving a movie theater with my tow kids. As soon as I saw my thought "Oh no!! My husband is not here, I am all alone with my kids, who is going to drive??? DO I KNOW how to drive???!! Since I didn’t see my husband I assumed I had drove the car to the theater, so I assumed I knew how to drive. So I drove home, but I was scared to death as if it was the first time I ever drove. 2- Many times I have a feeling of dejavu (or depersonalization?) I am doing something or seeing something, and I feel like spaced out, like I am floating, like I am seeing a re-run video of someting that has happened before, and I think "This happend before!" The exact same

thing? Am I relieving something that already happen?" – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -OK, tell me what was that??!!! uh?? I hope that has a name and an explanation :) Rosita Rosita Rosita wait! Didn’t I sign  Rosita before??? hmmmmmmmmm

Response:

No one answered my question, so I’ll ask it again..and again, until someone answers it just to get it over with :) OK, gotta question. I will relate two things that happened to me, and tell me if it is depersonalization or not.

Rosita, it’s hard for someone outside yourself to tell.  Derealization is a feeling of being really out of it.  There is a gray mental cast to things, though in reality, things look normal.  For me, it is a feeling of walking a little bit behind and above myself and there is a sense of tunnel vision.  Perhaps the most unsettling aspect is that things really look normal, but it seems like they shouldn’t look that way.  The discrepancy between reality, perception, and feelings is a dreadful feeling. I would say that if you have these feelings you would know it. Feelings of incredulity (Can I really drive?) and dejavu (I’ve been here before.) can be accompanied by stabs of anxiety, but unless they are accompanied by the perceptual uncertainties, I wouldn’t classify them as derealization. Hope this helped more than confused… Anita

Response:

Feelings of incredulity (Can I really drive?) and dejavu (I’ve been here before.) can be accompanied by stabs of anxiety, but unless they are accompanied by the perceptual uncertainties, I wouldn’t classify them as derealization.

Ok..so if they are not derealizations, what are they?? uh?? What is perceptual uncertainties??? Rosita Who keeps jumping to confussions

Response:

Feelings of incredulity (Can I really drive?) and dejavu (I’ve been here before.) can be accompanied by stabs of anxiety, but unless they are accompanied by the perceptual uncertainties, I wouldn’t classify them as derealization. Ok..so if they are not derealizations, what are they?? uh?? What is perceptual uncertainties??? Rosita Who keeps jumping to confussions

<grin at the last comment  I think it depends on how you feel when it happens.  I’ve experienced both of the things you described and felt anxious or weird, but not unreal.  Unfortunately I can’t say how anyone else would be feeling. Perceptual uncertainties… let’s see, how do I clarify?  I guess it is like seeing something is blue and having several people say it’s red.  When I see the world as unreal, but then really look at it and see it looks normal, then it makes me feel out of sync.  It’s hard to explain.  Maybe someone else who suffers derealization can help me out here?  I’m not so good with words sometimes. Jumping into my more confused confusion, Anita

Response:

FOR ROSITA……. meet me somewhere and I show up and he’s not there I freak out!!  Then my brain goes into overtime imagining all kinds of situations, is he dead, did he have a heart attack, abducted by aliens, was tired of me and just left…….I know the thoughts are irrational, but I can’t stop them.  I try real hard to hold it together, getting sick to my stomach and weak-kneed, starting to cry, starting to panic…..then i start wondering if I’m imagining it too.  Not to the extent you have though.  I wonder if I drove alone so I go to the parking lot to see if my car is still there (even though I have the keys), I think about calling police, EMT, fire department, Bloomingdales (oops, wait, no no no…..that’s about shopping)…anyway, I worry WAY more than is sensible and the longer it drags on, the worse it gets.  I end up frantic, then I’ll see hubby strolling down the aisle, smiling, acting like it’s no big deal.  He says he went to the bathroom.  Then as the panic fades, I let him have it yelling and screaming about how he STILL doesn’t seem to understand about his damn PD!! I end up going home miserable about not having a nice trip to remember, and the next time we go somewhere it’s more difficult for me because of the memories of the last one. Cindy No one answered my question, so I’ll ask it again..and again, until someone answers it just to get it over with :) OK, gotta question. I will relate two things that happened to me, and tell me if it is depersonalization or not. 1. I was leaving a movie theater with my tow kids. As soon as I saw my thought "Oh no!! My husband is not here, I am all alone with my kids, who is going to drive??? DO I KNOW how to drive???!! Since I didn’t see my husband I assumed I had drove the car to the theater, so I assumed I knew how to drive. So I drove home, but I was scared to death as if it was the first time I ever drove. 2- Many times I have a feeling of dejavu (or depersonalization?) I am doing something or seeing something, and I feel like spaced out, like I am floating, like I am seeing a re-run video of someting that has happened before, and I think "This happend before!" The exact same

thing? Am I relieving something that already happen?" – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -OK, tell me what was that??!!! uh?? I hope that has a name and an explanation :) Rosita Rosita Rosita wait! Didn’t I sign  Rosita before??? hmmmmmmmmm

Response:

Kelly et al, Yes, I agree more with Kelly’s description and I’m wondering, does anyone else, when feeling outside themselves think stuff like gee, how can the brain do these things and how can I be me and nobody else, not even a clone be me and I really can’t feel my body except my eyes feel like these two peepholes so…..oh my god, I can’t feel the steering wheel, oh no, a red light, s*it, I’m trapped <sweat, sweat, sweat etc. ?? Actually, I rarely drive because I *know* I am a danger to myself and others! Kerry

Response:

Cindy, Are  there "abandonment issues" in the relationship? Just asking cause I had those also. Kerry

Response:

Having lived with constant derealization for 20+ years now, I’ll blood pressure has ever fallen very low and you see things in slow motion and exaggerated and sounds are extra loud, lights extra bright, etc. Sometimes it feels like my "spirit" or my "soul" or my "mind" is just not fully attached to this thing called a body I have(no, I never belonged to heaven’s gate :) Kerry

Response:

Azure: I "freeze" all the time when questioned or forced to speak to authority figures (another phobia). I’m normally quite verbose but seem to dissociate, like you say, and completely lose what I’m saying in the middle of a sentence. Then I panic because I feel I look like a fool. The only cure I’ve found is to tell the person I’ve lost that thought for the moment but will come back to it, then I carry on talking about related issues. Or I say "It’s not coming to me right now but I know I have the answer and will get back to you soon." I don’t suppose this would be effective while taking an exam though! I used to be afraid of speaking in front of people but overcame that by accident while attending ACOA and AA meetings. Good luck, Paula

Response:

<lots snipped for space On the other hand, if you disagree with me then please provide the evidence that would support your statement.  Your personal library experiences notwithstanding.  You see, I’ve been in the gotta test tomorrow where the hell am I at now mode, and I’ve been in the "OH MY GOD, WHOSE DRIVING THE CAR?" mode, if you haven’t been in both then your opinion isn’t worth a pile of brown smelly stuff produced by cows.  Get the picture?

Very trenchant, Kelly and I wholeheartedly agree with you. Sadly, however, our Bernie doesn’t appear to be listening. In fact he’s playing the didactic game beloved of theorists who come here to *tell* and to *teach* and who believe that a scattering of letters after their name means they know all there is to be known. Shame really… — Gary Cooper

Response:

In response to your post, Please let me repost what I wrote sometime ago about feeling unreal. I hope this fits a little bit. THAT FEELING OF UNREALITY, OR DEPERSONALIZATION This feeling is often mistaken for "feeling crazy" and a harbinger of pending insanity. Actually it has nothing to do with insanity nor mental illness. This feeling  stems from a state of PREOCCUPATION. People who are acutely preoccupied are often overcome by this feeling. It happens to university students preoccupied with final exams, it happens to panic disordered patients preoccupied with the next panic attack.

<Snip Drivel Snip Snip Dear Bernie, Once more, so you can get it write this time.  I’ll use small words so that you can understand. Ahem,           DEPERSONALIZATION is not equal to or derived from a state of PREOCCUPATION. When you are in a state of PREOCCUPATION is means that your mind is not on the task at hand.  You are thinking about something else.  Your mind is elsewhere.  There is no feeling of unreality associated with being preoccupied.  There is no shame in being preoccupied.  Some of the very best minds of this century spent a great deal of time being preoccupied. Yes, it is possible to be preoccupied about having the next big Panic Attack.  Yes, this can in fact cause the next big Panic Attack ( in some people in some situations ).  Yes, deperonalization can follow a state of preoccupation.  No, there is no evidence apriori or otherwise that would indicate that DEPERSONALIZATION is caused by PREOCCUPATION. When you are in a state of DEPERSONALIZATION you are totally aware of the world around you, yet you are aware as a bystander is aware.  You drive the car, but you feel as if some other guy or girl is driving the car. You are not preoccupied, you are extremely occupied, you simply have no control. On the other hand, if you disagree with me then please provide the evidence that would support your statement.  Your personal library experiences notwithstanding.  You see, I’ve been in the gotta test tomorrow where the hell am I at now mode, and I’ve been in the "OH MY GOD, WHOSE DRIVING THE CAR?" mode, if you haven’t been in both then your opinion isn’t worth a pile of brown smelly stuff produced by cows.  Get the picture? Kelly

Response:

In response to your post, Please let me repost what I wrote sometime ago about feeling unreal. I hope this fits a little bit. THAT FEELING OF UNREALITY, OR DEPERSONALIZATION This feeling is often mistaken for "feeling crazy" and a harbinger of pending insanity. Actually it has nothing to do with insanity nor mental illness. This feeling  stems from a state of PREOCCUPATION. People who are acutely preoccupied are often overcome by this feeling. It happens to university students preoccupied with final exams, it happens to panic disordered patients preoccupied with the next panic attack. In certain states of  preoccupation you are in a particular groove, where you know you have to prepare yourself for something. That preparation is a singular dedication of your mental processes. It happened to me when I was doing final exams at university. My mind had to be preoccupied with tomorrow’s exam,   that mind set even continues when I am not studying. Thus I found myself looking at second hand cars. And just when I became really interested in that particular Chevy, I found myself reeling with that feeling of unreality. It is the feeling of "not being with it". How so? I am supposed to be preoccupied with tomorrow’s psychology 640 exam. Here I am thinking about a Chevy. I am "not with it". IT being the psychology exam I am supposed to be with. The same happens in panic disorder: You agenda is to be on guard against the next panic attack, or going crazy, or having a heart attack. but here you are watching TV and got drawn into the story. You are now "not with it". IT being the  panic attack, the insanity attack, or the heart attack. You now have this feeling of being here and not being here. Feeling unreal,  has nothing to do with mental illness. Feeling unreal is a side effect of being chronically on guard, or preoccupied with something. Bernie Vandermeer M.S.W.

Response:

Hi everyone, I am new here. I posted once about my dissertation. And thank you for the responses it generated. They are helpful. :) And you know what? I am … I am… well, there are some paragraphs on some pages and I think I might have written them, but don’t quote me. I am afraid if I talk/write about it, I will get all blocked up for another two years… and yes, I can certainly relate to icky University politics. :( Okay. I have a problem with panic. I do not have panic attacks, but I panic. And I am on medication for anxiety (VERY small dose of Klonapin, and also Zoloft). What Well, that was a good example of me spacing out! I have no idea what I meant to write… Um. Does anyone else space out? What happend to me is that my thoughts get blocked, I have trouble speaking (if I can even speak), any idea I have is impossible to get at, I feel kind of "hyperaware", but also numbed.  My head gets heavy. It is as if I am an outsider to my body, or else hiding somewhere in my body. I can’t concentrate when it happens. I am groggy. Is "spacing out" also a kind of dissociation? It feels so hard to control. It is also sometimes like "shutting down".  I am trying to figure out why I do these things. The physical signs are that of panic. But I barely notice them. Because it is as if I am just blanked out. Distant. It is so uncomfortable. Does anyone know what this is? It is easy to procrastinate when you can’t connect to your own thoughts… or don’t want to, as the case may be. But I need my thoughts. Don’t I? (Hmm… and how to overcome a writer’s block with all this going on?) Thank you for reading me, Azure — For more information about this service, send e-mail to:

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