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suprised and wondering

Question:

More feeling stuck, more wondering why the hell I’m not trying to change my situation.  

Me too.  Me too.  So, for the $64,000 question. Are you using your theatre degree?  The reason I ask is that I’m curious about acting.  Well, that’s a lie, it’s all I ever wanted to do, and I’m just looking for a kindred spirit. Kathleen

Response:

So I wear a costume to work today–ugly polyester dress, skull makeup, carry a bingo card–I call it "Bingo Night of the Living Dead." And I was very suprised to discover that I was really uncomfortable having people look at me.  It’s not like I didn’t know that would happen, I mean, I do have a bachelor’s degree in theater.  But for some reason, I just wanted to take it all off and forget the whole thing.  I felt better later on in the day, but I was still very glad to get home and clean up.  But usually in the past, I’ve enjoyed getting dressed up and attracting attention.  Why else would I have put myself $25,000 in debt for a theater degree?  But I was uncomfortable today, and it worries me.   It seems this friggin’ disease is going to take away everything I enjoy doing, and I’ll end up enjoying nothing.  And I’ve been feeling kinda crashy the last few days.  More feeling stuck, more wondering why the hell I’m not trying to change my situation.   Wish I could express myself better.  Oh well.  One good thing, though. With the time change, I get an extra hour of sleep.  :-) — Melissa "So Rita and I decided that the most subversive, revolutionary thing I could do was to show up for my life and not be ashamed."                                          –Anne Lamott

Response:

FWIW, you express yourself beautifully.  I’m sorry it was a scary place for you.  I am beginning to enjoy a few things in life again, so I still think there’s hope that you will, too. Very cool costume idea.  It’s funny, if i’m in costume I don’t mind being stared at.  It’s just the rest of the time it bothers me. — EM "My husband knew he married Miss Right,  but didn’t know her first name was Always." – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – So I wear a costume to work today–ugly polyester dress, skull makeup, carry a bingo card–I call it "Bingo Night of the Living Dead." And I was very suprised to discover that I was really uncomfortable having people look at me.  It’s not like I didn’t know that would happen, I mean, I do have a bachelor’s degree in theater.  But for some reason, I just wanted to take it all off and forget the whole thing.  I felt better later on in the day, but I was still very glad to get home and clean up.  But usually in the past, I’ve enjoyed getting dressed up and attracting attention.  Why else would I have put myself $25,000 in debt for a theater degree?  But I was uncomfortable today, and it worries me. It seems this friggin’ disease is going to take away everything I enjoy doing, and I’ll end up enjoying nothing.  And I’ve been feeling kinda crashy the last few days.  More feeling stuck, more wondering why the hell I’m not trying to change my situation. Wish I could express myself better.  Oh well.  One good thing, though. With the time change, I get an extra hour of sleep.  :-) — Melissa "So Rita and I decided that the most subversive, revolutionary thing I could do was to show up for my life and not be ashamed."                                         –Anne Lamott

Response:

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